You have to believe in your heart that everyone out there is given an equal shot at being happy, to enjoy the dating journey and at finding love. If you are walking around thinking the deck is stacked against you because you are of certain size, look or personality then you are aiding in making this notion a reality. When someone walks around with this thinking they exude negative vibes and are often times found to be unattractive due more to their vibes then their physical appearance.
People are drawn to energy and it is one of the first things that is noticed about you. I chuckled recently when a client of mine called me the Energizer Bunny in response to a statement I made about a singles event that I was hosting in Minneapolis, MN. I see far to many overweight singles wearing clothing that does not flatter them. Yes, I go shopping and I see many of the dreadful non-options out there. The choice of clothing and style is one of the greatest messengers that overweight people have. Choose what message you desire to send to the world. Show them that not only is it important to you that you feel good about yourself but also you care that you look good.
Learn to dress your body to hide your flaws and accentuate the parts of your body that rock. Keep yourself well groomed and have a high level of personal hygiene. There are so many great ways to visually and physically express you do take care of yourself and care about your appearance.
One of the biggest mistakes I see overweight singles make is that they are overly focused on their size. I see this time and time again, and all it does it work against them. If you are focused on your weight then so will other people. I have had clients come to me and share that they believe that they cannot find love because every date they go on ends with the other person not interested in them because they are fat. Understand that being an overweight single person does not make you unattractive.
There are many variables that make up attractiveness and your weight is just one of them. Share with the world all the beautiful things that make you who you are. There is nothing sexier then a man or woman that knows their value, is confident in themselves and shares their beautiful spirit with the world.
There is so much more to you then your weight and let the singles out there know that in a positive, humble, alluring kind of way. Self-esteem and confidence are two great influences on your dating life. Singles at any size struggle with confidence and low self-esteem but overweight daters can find themselves really struggling with these two. Learn how to develop and maintain your confidence and self-esteem. Do mental, emotional and physical exercises every day that will keep you healthy, full of confidence and build your self-esteem. Whether you are a size 2 or 22 or 32 or 58 if you do not truly love yourself and are at peace with who you are, then it is going to be incredibly challenging to find love and happiness.
You need to love yourself first, be confidence in who you are and have a good amount of self-esteem to find meaningful love and happiness.
I would advise against posting your weight in numbers. I think a lot of people underestimate what people weigh some guy once asked me if I weighted lbs, which I found hysterically funny- not even close. I've noticed that pinup models often put down their weight as something ridiculously low 5'9" and pounds, with that huge rack?
Keep numbers out of it. Take this with a grain of salt, since I haven't really looked at any online dating sites and don't know what the norms are, but how do you feel about putting your size in the description, for example "curvy size 12," or whatever? That's assuming that women's clothing sizes mean anything to men. It doesn't necessarily mean that people are lying, it could also mean that fat women and short men are putting up less ads than their nonfat and nonshort counterparts.
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So words that convey if it applies fit, fashionable, confident, outdoorsy, cheery, strong, great skin, awesome hair or other words that say that you look good and like yourself in addition to being heavy. I think one of the concerns that people have with heavy people is the things that they think go along with heavy people, like being out of shape, unconcerned about their appearance, etc. Height-wise I am quite small, but weight wise, I am lbs How? Believe it or not there are people who are looking for someone with your body type.
You won't meet them if you don't put it out there.
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I have one friend who is frustrated by the "a few extra pounds" radio button as the upper limit. What she wants to know is "how can I find someone who is actually fat?
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The stats you're listing simply do not describe someone enormous, but the language you're using indicates a lot of pain and discomfort with your body - and that's less attractive than a round belly. Don't bother with online dating if you can't approach it as an amusing exercise with possibly nice outcomes, it's not worth berating yourself and imagining what hypothetical people might like or not like about you. Meet and charm people in person instead. I'd personally go with "a few extra pounds.
Definately second with the photo suggestion. Also, really don't try and focus too much on describing yourself physically. I mean, true, it's an issue, but just describe the type of person who you are. Maybe I'm some freak case but personally, I'd take a fugly, chubby girl with a nice personality who I can relate to over a hot supermodel with no personality.
The best of luck to you. There are plenty of words you can use to communicate your shape while being fun and positive about it. My favorite is zaftig , but there's also shapely, voluptuous and the super-straight forward "plump. You don't have to be a stick figure to be beautiful.
Not that I don't aspire to be one myself, as most of us zaftig ladies seem to. So, in essence, don't be misleading, but don't be too worried about it either. I think that was honest enough. I met one guy who thought the username was adorable.
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It's a rare man who has any concept of women's clothing sizes. I personally would feel mislead if you made it sound different from what it is and it would most likely lead to an awkward date. I think most people ready "curvy" as a euphemism for "overweight" and that you'd be fine with that one. Rubenesque, American Heritage Dictionary Plump or fleshy and voluptuous.
Used of a woman. Have a nice picture. Also realise that men are not brought up to do BMI calculations in their head and are quite unlikely to think "gosh, at her height she should only weigh ". I empathise hardcore with your situation. The question "How big am I, really? I agree with the suggestions that you shouldn't say anything about your size, and just post a few honest, flattering pictures. If you feel you must describe your body shape in your profile, the best thing for you to do is to be creative and stay away from all the words potental suitors already have alternate definitions for.
To give you some examples, I'm 5'2", , and words I've used to describe myself include: Crumb-style, birth of Venus, small but not delicate, chunky, substantial, like someone dropped an anvil on the letter X, built like a small curvy tank, big boned for real! Krautland, not to put too fine a point on it but that Rubens lady has a body like mine, and I do not have the hip to chest ratio of a supermodel. I would say that the woman in that particular painting isn't overweight, but is fleshier than today's ideal beauty. As I know too well: Sorry to take things a little off track, I don't want to help make this thread into a war over Rubens.
I just never realized I had a body like a Rubens before. If you say "curvy," men will assume you're a bit overweight. I guess you could think about it like this. Would you rather date more men who might reject you because they don't see you as actually "curvy," or miss men who won't date you if you say something more precise? I think a lot of what you've written here will work, with one caveat: This is not helped by Kirstie Alley's claim that at 5'8" the most she ever weighed was something like I would just use the key adjectives you're giving us, something like this but with the lameness removed: I'm overweight, but not obese, and pear-shaped -- I inherited my family's good ol' child-bearing hips, even though I don't plan to think about that feature for 10 years!
Oh, and have we all mentioned pictures enough yet? They get the point across better than any description can. Are you happy with yourself? You shouldn't need to resort to cheesy crap like using words such as "reubenesque" or "voluptuous. Be frank, be honest, and be yourself. You don't have to be a supermodel. In fact, many guys like me would be much more appreciative of the fact that you were honest in your profile.
I'd rather have honesty than fluffy SAT words. If someone doesn't like it, the hell with them. Love yourself first, and others will love you for it. That you are having such a hard time with this makes me very sad, because it means you don't like your body.