Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Some choices are his to make, regardless of my personal feelings or circumstances. Julie and Daniel, if you do chose to get married; of course mother and I will attend your wedding and pay for it. And, the day you are married Daniel, you will be fully embraced into our home and family.
Hopefully, there will never be a moment that we intentionally shut you out of anything. Daniel, you may occasionally feel some awkwardness because our life and language is enmeshed in a biblical worldview and yours is not.
This is who we are. But, there are other practical implications for a wedding you may not have thought of.
When Our Young Adult Chidren Marry Non-Christians: Parents' Perspective
For instance, where will you get married? Getting married in a church implies a commitment to the beliefs of Christianity, by both parties. Almost all the pastors of churches in our city require both people to be Christians. Many pastors in our city have signed The Marriage Covenant. This requires all couples to get Christian pre-marriage counseling before any pastor will marry them. Would it have to be a justice of the peace, or a judge? How does that affect the unity of purpose and values, so important for a successful marriage?
None of these issues are insurmountable in and of themselves.
If you date a non-Christian… fighting sexual temptation may be harder
But more importantly, keep in touch with them, make sure you encourage them to stay committed to meeting with other Christians, and pray for them. Maybe their boyfriend or girlfriend will become a Christian! But if not, and they break up, you want your friend to feel able to come straight back to church without feeling guilty or judged.
But if we do make bad decisions, we can take comfort in the fact that God will always forgive us when we ask. How should I date?
Why dating a non-Christian is a bad idea
Is it ok to date or marry a non-Christian? So you think you can date? If you date a non-Christian… you could have a hard marriage If you date and then marry a non-Christian, there are three possibilities. But I really want to date! My friend is dating a non-Christian… what can I do? Read more about wisdom relationship love Stay in the loop.
The couple can marry outside the Orthodox Church. If this choice is made, the Orthodox partner loses his or her good standing and is not permitted to participate in the sacramental life of the Church.
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Pray that God will bless you with patience and wisdom to help you negotiate your way through the many toxic, potentially destructive thoughts and feelings you will encounter. Rather, focus on what you did do, and try not to internalize the pain and confusion. Release the pain and confusion, and share it with a few trusted friends whom you choose wisely.
When you speak to your son or daughter, express your concerns by alluding to some of the pitfalls and challenges that Orthodox encounter when they marry non-Christians. In general, research indicates that the divorce rate among these couples is higher because of a host of unique challenges they face across the life cycle. Further, as you offer this information, be careful not to lecture.
If you find yourself losing patience, take a time out and resume the conversation at another time. The objective behind this strategy is not to change minds as much as it is to generate respectful conversation that will allow for a healthy discussion of concerns and feelings that might otherwise create distance between you and your son or daughter.
Such tactics have the potential of creating further unwanted complications that may linger and create more distance resentment now and into the future. Further, when the confusion lifts, many express resentment and feelings of abandonment, stating that their Church turned them away at a time when they most needed it. When these thoughts and feelings are verbalized, Orthodox Christian parents might react in ways they may later regret.
These reactions are often directed toward one or more of the following persons: