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Surely he has made his intentions known to you over and over again. In his mind he has covered himself and, in a way, he has. Believe a guy when he says he does not want to commit to you. The romanticism he exhibits is all about living in the moment, or re-enacting a fantasy, but, rest assured, reality will rear its ugly head sooner rather than later. The only thing that makes you crazy is coming back for more. Relationship is a dirty word. Want to be a buzz kill? Just ask a player where your relationship is headed, and you will likely see him head for the door.
Of course you have a relationship.
You are just not in one. You never meet his friends or family. You may feel like you know them because he speaks about them constantly. You know what they do, what they say, and what they like, but you do not know them personally. When a guy wants to integrate you into his life , he will introduce you to those who are special to him.
He will want to show you off. If he keeps you isolated, it is not because he wants you all to himself. It is more likely he compartmentalizes because there are other women in his life besides you. He is still online. If he still maintains an online dating profile or profiles, and remains active on them long after you start sleeping together, long after you make your relationship objectives known, it may be time to consider other options.
If it is monogamy you seek, and the guy you are seeing is not interested in offering that, it is probably smart to re-evaluate and move on. Waiting for someone to change should never be a consideration. Be clear to him and to yourself about your goals. Otherwise, you may never find what you are looking for. He refers to you as a friend. A guy who is serious about you will make you his girlfriend.
He will want you and the rest of the world to know you are unavailable to any other man. If he refers to you as a friend, both in private and in public, he is letting you and everyone else know his options are still open. Most of his friends are women. Not only are most of his friends women, they too are referred to as friends. Casual conversation does nothing to reveal whether or not he is having or has had a sexual relationship with any of these friends, and you are deliberately left wondering what makes you any more special than the others.
Likely you are not. He brags about his sexual history. There have been many women in his past, and he is not shy about informing you of his sexual conquests and why these endless attempts at a relationship failed, no doubt due to every reason apart from him. He has a poor track record for commitment. What better indicator of future behavior than past behavior? If the guy you are seeing has been dating for two or three decades and has yet to experience a monogamous relationship that outlasts the change of four consecutive seasons, it is wise to question whether he can or will want to offer you the commitment you desire.
Are You Dating a Player?
Though there are exceptions to every rule, and people can and do change, the odds are not stacked in your favor. There is no such thing as goodbye. No matter how many times either of you call it quits, say your goodbyes , and wish each other well, somehow he always manages to reappear, waving a flag a red one, if I may via a text, an email, or an article he innocently forwards along, implying he is around if you want him to be.
Never promising more, only toying with your emotions, making you wonder whether this time things will be different. The problem is, they never are. At some point it comes time to recognize the cycle, and break it. Your gut tells you so. He may refer to you simply as friend even if you feel like that stage has past. He seems tired and disconnected all the time. You know he works hard, but he doesn't seem as energetic as you.
He may be spending his energy on someone else. When describing you and why he likes you, he lists of his favorite features as though you are a car. He struggles to talk about why he thinks he has a good connection with you. He is jealous of any male presence in your life. This is very telling. Jealous people often go behind other people's backs to get some action. They don't trust people because they betray people behind their backs. The terms of your relationship or dating experience are too loose. It makes it easy for him to say, well you weren't exactly my girlfriend, were you?
Dick move for sure. He seems emotionally confused more than he should. One moment he is warm to you, the next he is cold. You can chalk it up to stress or other life events, but at some point it will become suspicious. He only has one favorite activity with you. He never plans dates. He never asks about your friends. He never asks about your family. He only wants your body.
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You met him on a dating app and he is still using dating apps frequently. You can find his profile on it. He says he got into dating apps to hookup with lots of ladies. He treats people in service with no respect. He makes rude comments about wait staff, he never says thank you, and he walks all over people. This is someone who doesn't respect people's feelings. He is way too sexual to be normal. He often wants to try new things that he found out about and pressures you into things you didn't really want to try. He frequently makes promises he can't keep because he hopes the promise will impress you.
He has not intention of follow through. He isn't interested in what makes you tick as a person. He'd rather just know you on a shallow basis. He broke up with his last girlfriend for you.
15 Reasons You Should Date A Player | TheTalko
He will eventually break up with you for someone else. Maybe even go back to his last girlfriend He leaves for extended periods of time, whole weekends, without telling you where he went and who you went with. You would have to try prying it out of him to get any information. If you know he is playing with your heart, don't stick with it. It may suck to breakup and move on -- but sticking around with someone who doesn't respect you won't change. You have to cut the cord. There are plenty of others on this big planet who would love to date you and will appreciate you for all that you have to offer.
So don't be afraid if you caught him playing behind your back. Step up to the plate and stand up for yourself. And if you ever feel that you are in a dangerous situation, tell your friends, call violence hotlines, call for help. You don't have to do this alone. You are strong, beautiful, and majestic. You deserve a boyfriend who cares about your needs. You deserve a boyfriend who will offer their shoulder for your tears.
You deserve a good life. Don't let some bad boyfriend bring you down. Never let anyone take away your smile. You deserve to make this world a better place than when you entered it.
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Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Try hitting up new places. Don't let someone bully you out of your fun. It doesn't matter if you are single or not -- enjoy your time, life is too short otherwise. He will keep doing it to you if he thinks it bothers you.
So don't sweat it, and he'll be stumped. He's being immature and not worth your time. Players do these things out of control. But how do you handle it when he makes a point of always showing up wherever you're out enjoying yourself without a date, and he rubs that in your face? Must you resign yourself to staying home if you can't get just any date? Or is there a better way to deal with this? Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.