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Each true love we have stretches our heart in a different direction and each relationship serves us in a different way, which makes me believe that those of us who are not ready to give love a chance again are indeed missing out in many ways. My wife was not the first woman I ever loved, as far back as I remember, I had once loved a lady before her who was then Ola Adeniji, we broke up and it was like, how in the world will I ever live without her.

I did everything to have her back as my girlfriend, but she was never going to come back to me, she had made up her mind, and that was it. But it blows my mind to know that I can love again and so also can you too. Well, to that I will say marriage was made for man and not man for marriage. For someone like me that believes in the trinity theology, I believe God does not only believe that marriage is honorable unto all, but through marriage wants to help us understand how there can be three persons in one God, yet indivisible.

If a man is using you as his punching bag every day, you better run, baby, run before he kills you. It is better to lose that marriage than lose your life.

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Believe me, some of these stories are lies. She was simply killed by her husband. Before she was killed, she kept on going to church to report the criminal and abusive situation at home, but the ignoramus counselors that jam pack the churches these days who know the letters and not the Spirit, kept telling her to go back to her husband and pray for him.

Pray for a man that should be in the psychiatric hospital? Pray for a man that has a multiple personality disorder? A man who is so pious in church, pro-active at work, respected in the society because of his humanitarian endeavors, and yet a beast of no nation at home. Who will believe her anyway? Even when she finally gets an appointment with Mama in church, little did she know that most pastors or bishops wives are the unhappiest people in the world, so what do you expect Mama to say than to tell her to go back home and die?

And these women die daily. If he beats you, he is an unbeliever, and sooner than later, he is going to go after other women, when he does, just go on your knees and thank God for your deliverance has come, because the Bible says you are not bound to an unbeliever anyway, meaning after letting him go and you return back to your parents, you can re-marry if you want, when your divorce papers are complete. You can open up your heart again to someone else after thorough counseling. God says he hates divorce, but not the divorcee.

And for those of you religious people that feel like strangling me now, because you think I am advocating divorce, I am not advocating divorce, but helping people to learn to start all over again after they have admitted that they have made a mistake in marrying the wrong person. Make up your mind to love again this year. Learn to love right, and also love the right person as you chose to remain right with God, sooner than later you will realize that God indeed hates divorce, but not the divorcee.

Is Abuja ready for me? I met my wife Lawrenta, through my friend Jacqueline Uchendu. That was twenty-two years ago, we have been married for Nineteen years now. Before this time I had seen Lawrenta around and also met her in a couple of parties.


I was always with the boys and she was always with the girls. I would always find my way into the company of the girls and start of a conversation that will make me the life of the party.

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I realize the girls warmed up to me easily, and I liked them too. Nevertheless, there was always something different about Lawrenta, I found out that she does not just laugh any how at my jokes, though she seem to enjoy them, and whenever she asked questions, she always got me thinking, thinking far from sight and into the future. She seem to be a girl in her own class, and always had capacity, as a matter of fact I saw a lot of friends lean on her, but never without her permission, that means she believed in her personal space as well. I can tell you that I am grateful to God that I waited just a little longer on that day.

You can imagine how I felt when it was Lawrenta that walked in. I am also grateful to Jackie, our matchmaker; who is in the United States of America now. When I finally met Lawrenta, and we started getting really close, I was in a crossroad [I will save the story for another day]. I remember I had only 3 shirts and 2 trousers, and one of the trousers was red in color and the other was a Lucky Bell Jeans of those days, and talking about my shirts, one of it was a T-shirt that looked like a blouse.

Unfortunately at the time I met Lawrenta, things had gone pretty tough at home that we were only able to conveniently eat one square meal a day as a family if we ate at all, for my father had just made an investment that turned out to be a bad one. I grew up in a family that had outings at the Federal Palace Hotel, the Bar beach show etc so you can imagine what trauma I was going through when I met Lawrenta. As a counselor, I can tell you that that was not the best time to start a relationship, but that was the time I got into one, a serious one for that matter.

As I look back today, I thank God who sustained us, because it could have been disastrous as Lawrenta could have just become a medication for me at that time and I would foolishly think I am in love. Good enough though, things were fine for Lawrenta at home, and so she made sure I had some things that I would have been highly frustrated if I went on living without them like food for example. But one thing was for sure, I was going to love Lawrenta, and never love another woman above her. Even at those days when I had nothing, I gave Lawrenta greeting Cards; meaningful cards, and little gifts that made her know I was grateful to have her.

The Valentine days we spent together before marriage were quite meaningful, still good now, except that while I have a speaking engagement somewhere on that day, Lawrenta also has another speaking engagement on the same day somewhere else. Today, I am no longer that Jerome that has three shirts and two trousers. I am no longer at that cross road I use to be, though I have been through more cross roads after that.

I see some ladies try to warm up to me today. I wonder if they would have introduced me to anybody, but that was when Lawrenta introduced me to everybody that mattered in her life with pride. She knew I could become all that and more, and she came into my life to agree with me to become all I can be, and she is still doing it today. But where is this talk about Jerome and Lawrenta leading us to? I know there are lots of men who are Abandoned Projects out there who just want to dupe women and run away, but I can also assure you that there are also a lot of men who are WORK IN PROGRESS, who just need some woman who is in a strong resourceful position to agree with them, and she will see how this same man will turn around to become her backbone later.

In the same way women depend on men who are resourceful to help them become something or someone in life, I believe men unashamedly can also do the same, I mean look up to some women in strong financial positions to back them up as they get into meaningful relationships that can lead to somewhere. As a counselor, I am also aware that some of you ladies have done what I am telling you before, and have been burnt so badly that your world has been broken to pieces and you are not sure if you can ever be alright emotionally again, well while I really sincerely sympathize with you, I am of the opinion that some of you brushed up the wrong men, because you were so desperate that you lacked vision and got hold of an Abandoned Project instead of a WORK IN PROGRESS.

I can also introduce you to some men that I deem as credible.

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They may not have the money to lavish on you, but at least they can take care of themselves, and maybe with a little bit of support from you end up helping you multiply what you have right now and eventually become that backbone you have been asking God for all these while.

All you need to do as a woman at this period is let him know that his behavior is unacceptable to you, and continue to practically be his wife as you remain in the presence of God. You will most likely find out that an outsider is always an outsider, he will come back home, as Men through the help of God always remember whose they are and the way back home.

I have been there before, but that is a story for another day. Sorry for my manners, I am a female, 34 years old, and a Christian living in Abuja. I have had several slimming programmes, taken different drugs, and still on one therapy now, but all these have not helped in any way. Looking forward to hearing from you sir.

My dear concerned sister,. Nevertheless, I commend you for your efforts to slim down as this might also be of help for health reasons. You must note though that if you are fat and have a healthy esteem, you may not need to lose so much weight as I think what most people need to lose today is the negative attitude they. Let me know if you are interested in further consultations with me.

This has been a big issue for me as a Matchmaker. To be candid with you, I am yet to see a male client who has requested for a fat lady for marriage or a lady on the big side. At some point it bothered me because I really have a lot of beautiful ladies on the big side as clients, but rather than tell the. But why do men prefer slim ladies over the fat ones?

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Some men have complained that the ladies on the big side snore a lot, others say that penile penetration during sex with ladies on the big side can be difficult, while slim ladies can be easy to penetrate. Still on sex, men have also complained that the ladies on the big side are not flexible enough and that they get easily tired during intercourse and are quick to sleep off. But the most comical part of this is that, I have never also had ladies on the big side who has requested for a fat man or one with a big stomach, as.

They have the opinion that fat men have small manhood and also have problems when it comes to smooching, not to talk of penetration.

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The women also complain that fat men snore like volcanoes. But then the man of today wants God to do the finding and he the man does the joining. How did we get here, I thought we were talking about fat girls. Yeah, going back to that I believe there are more serious issues than fat men and fat ladies. The Bible has warned us not to associate with certain people, not to talk of finding them for marriage or of bringing them to God at the altar for joining.

Amongst such people is the man or. Most of the time I think where we have a weight problem is not in our physical bodies, but in our minds, our psyches, our emotions and most importantly our consciences. A lot of people go about life with guilt for what they believe they have done wrong directly or indirectly. Some yet believe their parents got a divorce because of them. And so these kinds of people may see themselves as one who makes others suffer or gets people that should be together divided. Others carry the guilt of what they have done wrong directly in their hearts up till now and have refused to ask God for forgiveness or receive grace to forgive themselves, and so become too heavy emotionally to have a good relationship with anyone.

This kind of people end up using one sin to cover up another, and though they may be slim and fair in complexion as many men want their women to be today, these ladies may feel so low personally when it comes to self esteem, whereas the fat and dark lady may have a healthy esteem, and be so much in love with herself that any man who is mature enough not to judge people before he meets them will not only find out that not all fat women snore, but can be fantastic friends and lovers to have.

Have an abundant week.

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And so if you chose to stick to that ratio, then it will be one wife material and nine other hells of women. I know that, because of the extent that some women will go today to get a man. Letting a woman know today that you are married does not seem to change anything, because the more she knows, the more she becomes comfortable with you.

A lot of ladies out there actually believe that the married man knows how to handle a woman better than the man who has never been married before. Sometimes when we allow our fears to control us, we may tend to assume so many things, and it has been found to be true many times that assumption is the best tool for fools, unfortunately, I have played that kind of fool many times based on some assumptions I have made in life too, but I chose to be more careful now.

So ladies, why are you playing cheap these days? Because you fear you may never end up with someone that will love you for who you are? Or because you may go the rest of your life unnoticed by men? Or maybe you believe belonging to someone else will solve all your problems for the rest of your life. Just in alone I had three ladies who claimed to have been pregnant for me, and as much as this may be hard to believe, I never slept with any of them. Though while I am not in any of those school of thought, I still shudder at the extent some ladies will go just to have a man.

One of such ladies I encountered last year said the Lord sent her to me to help and support me in everyway I might be needing help, then I told her I already have a Help that is Meet for me and was not looking for another, at this point she kept on calling me and insisting that I obeyed the lord by loving her. I have had ladies send text messages to me saying they want to have sex with me, I have also received calls with ladies bold enough to say that they want to sleep with me, and whenever I am ready, I can give them a call.

The one that bothers me now is ladies sending text and asking if you want to have a phone sex.

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  • I sit back and ask if this is part of the dividends of civilization, and if it is, then we are headed for doom. One of the biggest obstacles I have seen in is the health issues of intending marriage partners. We have seen relationships with prospects crumble when intending marriage partners undertake a voluntary medical test to ascertain their health status prior to marriage. Though it is a condition sine qua non to marriage especially in Churches, it is not the intention of any of them to sour any relationship. These are issues that have tendencies to break marriages in a future.

    However, a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. In this article, I explore possible means through which any man or woman can adopt to find a life-partner in Nigeria in the barest minimum time-frame — as little as seven days which are as follows: Talk to the Pastor or any elder in your local church with whom you have a close relationship with whom your privacy is guaranteed, express your heart-felt desire in meeting a suitable person for a marriage relationship.

    Here, you should not be biased about the health status of the people you meet. If you are HIV positive, you need be careful about disclosing your status to just anyone you meet newly. At this point you may consider confiding your genuine interest in finding a life-partner in any family member who has fore-knowledge of your health-status. You can look out for online dating websites dedicated to HIV positive people online with reliable track records of matching people with your kind of situation in your city or country.

    The watch-word here is absolute privacy. They will do everything possible to protect your privacy and identity in the process of helping you find a life-partner. It can be daunting but this is their job.