With my beer jacket on, I tried to make a move, and was completely shot down.
The next several times we hung out I continued to work every move and line I had in my arsenal. But, continuously, I was made a fool of. His actions were speaking louder than words, but it took multiple separate occasions of his apathetic actions for me to come to terms with this. In my life, I had never let myself act in such a way, but I felt I had no control.
It was at this point I realized something desperately needed to change. It was easier said than done.
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We can delete their phone number, throw away all memories of him from our home, maybe join a dating site, and really make moves to move on. Someone you maybe never even had real feelings for, but rather just enjoyed the idea of? And, what do you do if that person was previously one of your best friends, and things were getting messier by the minute?
I was in a state of constant confusion. Unfortunately, there was only one thing I could actually do, and it was to cut him out for a while. I knew I needed to give myself the chance to meet someone else, and to get over the unrealistic idea of us ever being together. We need to love the man. It took me a while, but I made it out alive. Once I came to the final realization that we were not meant to be more than friends, I was able to focus on what I actually wanted. I feel confident it will be one day, though.
I regret not asking him how he felt after it first happened. I regret how I acted in the aftermath, not knowing how he felt. I regret that it still might take a little while to get back to where we were. I acted with my sex drive, and not my brain.
This should be something you fully think through before acting on. After it all, I have officially decided to stop drafting that fairytale ending. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.
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The Thing You Don’t Realize About Hooking Up With Your Best Friend Until After It’s Happened
But, friendship came soon after. And then it happened. And, so began my downfall. Things got weird…real weird.
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Just like everything else in life, there are high risks involved when you choose to sleep with your best friend. It could completely ruin your friendship and you may never talk to that person again. There is also the chance that you are such good friends that if the "friend with benefits situation" does not work out, you can bounce back easily into that oh so comfortable friendship zone. And if that does not work out, well, you always have other friends, right? Granted it is not the ideal situation and even if you think your friendship is strong enough to surpass this possibility, think again.
It happens more often than not. You may miss each other, but sometimes there is just no going back. There is a good chance that this situation could be a simple one and done. Obviously the latter is what most people hope for and if you work at it, it can be your outcome. Just as long as you do not allow the awkwardness to get too awkward. As you know, so many things could go wrong when you hook up with your best friend, but do not forget that so many things can go so right instead of regretting it for the rest if your life, losing your friend and constantly having that pit in your stomach that appears every time you think of them.
You can have those lovely butterflies that make you happy and excited to be around them, you can build even more memories once you let your inhibitions fly and best yet, you can have an even better friendship as long as there are no hard feelings between one another. It is not always a negative outcome. Nothing is more awkward than having sex with someone for the first time, especially for women; the whole taking your clothes off thing is one hell of a nerve wrecker. With a friend it is slightly different. Test the waters the next couple of days, if you can hang out like nothing has happened and continue on with your regular day to day activities, then chances are this scenario can happen a couple more times.
Hooking Up With A Friend? Memorise These 10 Rules | HuffPost India
After all, it is just sex, right? What is the worst that can happen if you both know what you are getting yourselves into? Besides the obvious, that is. As soon as you realize that this scenario is not for you, it is better to bail and keep the tight bond of friendship that was there before. The best part about realizing that you have messed up is the fun story you have to tell because you caught your mistake early.
If you are lucky to keep that best friend for years to come, you will always be able to look back and laugh at the idea that you two could have been something more than what you are now. There is a good chance that both of you will see the situation differently and laugh about how different you both interpreted the memorable night. You do not have to fight, push or vie for their love or attention because you already have it.
Years of friendship have built you guys up to this point and it will defiantly be a hard bond to break if something does not go as planned. However, there is always that comfort of knowing that your best friend is your best friend for a reason and no matter what, they love you on a different level than they love everyone else. So even if that love is not a romantic love, it is a love nonetheless, and it is unconditional.