What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun besides Reddit? Never had a relationship? Don't get people thinking about what could be wrong with you. This is still a smallish subreddit. Don't be let down by a meager response, post again later, not everyone reads this every hour of every day!
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Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new text post. I'm getting desperate enough to consider paying for Tinder Gold and Boosts, but I think it's already too late. Pretty sure my profile has already been deranked to not even being in the queue anymore. I had success with online dating after years of drought.
The key to me was not taking it personally and analyzing rejections so I could do better next time. I mean "better" in an absolute sense; ie, be better than most of the population. The object is not to show your "best self" but to be the best option. I do not mean just physically, but in terms of "I am an interesting person to talk to". The two most important things I did to get more responses were a work on my biceps and b took a crazy trip and took pictures in front of interesting stuff in foreign countries.
Yosemite or Disneyland doesn't cut it since it's not interesting; some ruins in an obscure South American country might do the trick. Cut your profile's length to half of what it is. One cool nugget for each section. If you're on Tinder, put in 3-ish cool nuggets. Make them hilarious and literally the most awesome things in your life.
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Texting abilities are huge. The 1 problem guys have is that they text too much and get too familiar. I had much better success when I acted almost businesslike. Phone calls are still a big no though. Go a week without using any online dating. One thing I liked to do was outright disable my OKCupid profile for a month and not think about it.
If what I said seems like hard work, consider that at this point that the random approach is getting pretty damn close to being considered sexual harassment. Unless you have a social life which includes regular introductions to beautiful women I envy you , we as a society are being funneled to a point where online dating is really the only viable option.
Why are phone calls a big no? You gain instant report with her because now she reads your texts in your voice. It also creates more pressure on her to chase since she gets to talk to you for minutes per week. Maybe for older women. My gf is 31 and we talk on the phone fairly often But with younger ones, I have literally arrived at the date and called to let them know I'm there and they didn't pick up.
Get good at game and charismatic speaking in general, and call them just before sleep to have one hell of a flirt and set up the first date. Texting is shit, even with good text game. It takes too long, is impersonal, and makes you too instantly available. I have a 10 minute call. Maybe respond one text the next day. Ghost then the next day or couple.
Call to set something up the next night. Because I ghosted for a day I usually get a bitchy response of where were you all this time? Other guys can caress their ego and let her go at her own pace but if she wants my time she will have to do it in person. Guess who she will be more interested in? Guy who won't leave her alone or she wonders why he isn't around?
Online dating is pointless now : dating
Yes, and your last couple lines are probably the most important aspect of this: People seem to forget that this is a competition. Not a single ounce of success from one of them. On all 6 of them I've managed to swipe on every single woman within my city or the surrounding cities. I don't have anyone left to swipe anymore. Hundreds of women across 6 different sites, and not one of them has wanted to start something with me. That's a crushing reality. This is where I can really feel it You can put whatever the fuck you want in your profile, it doesn't matter.
My buddy is on welfare right now and pulls a new girl every week off pof. He stays in shape, doesn't go online during the day and only at night. Has 2 pics, both are selfies. Weekends he sticks to dates. Might be a bit of miscommunication. That sub is like a dating classifieds for folks who think they will be forever alone. What's the time frame to get you the tag 'forever alone'? I might just be there, haha! It sure is starting to look that way, though I've not been pessimistic enough to relegate myself to such a no hope moniker.
I actually don't know to be honest although I'm with you. I'm starting to feel like I'll be alone forever but not quite ready to throw in the towel. I think my still alone at 41 qualifies. I'll be like a god on there! It's not a time frame as much as it is a state of a mind. Meaning, if you're the kind of person that brands yourself as a forever alone, you're probably the kind of person that behaves like someone who wouldn't get a GF. Sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I never heard of it until today.
I think I'm fine, haha. I've also had a number of girlfriends before. Not new to the rodeo. I'm just in a bit of a lull I guess. Lots of profiles on dating apps that promote kik, Instagram or snap accounts are fake accounts setup for ewhoring or to push some other type of cpa offer. I myself have never engaged in this fast, easy, super lucrative form or naughty grey hat marketing. Online dating is a terrible way to find a relationship, but it's useful if you've never dated before and need practice.
I remember I used to get so nervous on first dates. Everything has to go perfectly, this is my one shot. After all, it was something I'd done a million times before, thanks to online dating. And I finally felt confident that there would always be another woman in the future if one date didn't work out. Other than a couple of short-lived relationships, I had very little success with online dating. It was frustrating as hell. But I'm still glad I did it because it gave me a certain cynicism about dating that I took with me into the real world.
OLD gave me the ability play it cool and not worry about it if a girl didn't like me back.
And now I'm engaged to a girl i met in real life. So yeah, online dating has its benefits. But it's mostly useful as a tool to improve your dating skills. I've asked out maybe 5 women in real life in the last 5 years, and all but 1 turned into a relationship.
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Meeting people in real life is the way to go. Well on a first date I never invite a girl to a place where any of us have to pay. We just go for a walk, some park usually work really well. Not to make it boring I never let the first date take more than 1 hour. It is meaningless to pay since you do not know each other at all. That's s BS that some people still believe but it's really BS. In fact no self-respecting man pays sensibly more than his half and no self-respecting woman wants to be a golddigger or dinner whore… and you don't want to date the latter anyways.
The norm these days is to go dutch at the beginning before being a couple and then switch to alternating footing the whole bill. This is from me dating about women over the course of 2 years on and off. I've now gambled on two women which only had pictures of their face up and nothing else.
Both had great bodies. I feel like most of us have the exact opposite experience. We've got to be very careful to make sure that they aren't using any typical tactics to hide their weight in their pictures. And in the event that we do our due diligence with their pictures so as not to get surprised, the overwhelming majority of the time, they were using pictures from three years and 30 pounds ago. Better looking in person has definitely been the exception rather than the rule. Im gonna be honest and say I don't see how people can get into this situation.
Looking at someone's facebook takes about 5 minutes. They usually use the same pictures and they're dated on facebook. I will admit that I am really good at dodging the questionable profiles though. OP has made a recent post on this subreddit, which may or may not be relevant. I am a bot. Hi, thank you for messaging me! I am only a non-sentient bot so I can't really help you if you have questions. Please contact the subreddit moderators. There is a link in my original message: When it comes to online dating, women are there either for the attention or they want a hot guy with an attractive face.
Isn't that what guys want? Hot women with an attractive face? So it's no different for them. All of the guys are clamoring for the same handful of women; and many of the guys get all resentful that those women with literally hundreds of guys to pick from don't pick them. When you have options, you also get to have high standards. When I created a profile with fake pics, nearly all of the women that I right swiped on would match with me.
Isn't that what you do when you see attractive women? At one point I decided to right swipe on all women with my real profile but only get matched witha few 2s-3s. I can agree with OP. Something has changed and I can't pinpoint specifically. It used to be easy to get a date or just have someone to chat with. Now as OP mentioned girls want to promote their insta or they have hidden them selves behind the filters.
I'll also will mention the permanent residents on the sites.. I think that "the grass is greener on the other side" has reached its peak. Which is pretty sad for me since I am not one to be found in bars or festivals.. Online dating used to my way of socialising.. Now it's gone cold. Last time i used online dating badoo was in I've had moderate success. Then came back to Tinder in after a relationship.
First it was really slow, almost no matches, very little responses from conversations. I thought the same: Or did i lose my mojo? Then i don't know what exactly changed, but i suppose it was small changes in my pictures and bio perhaps Since a few months i'm getting regular matches and good conversations that result in dates. I've had at least one date every week in the past two months. I'm having another next monday, and another one in the same week after next monday.
IMO not much has changed. You could be right about the being in bad place.. I have been struggling to get my shit together lately.. Well the past year now and also it is the same time as the dating hasn't been successful.. I might be sabotaging my own dating with the mindset I have.. Things to reflect on now.
Yeah dude it sucks.. I deleted all my stuff last week because I was getting fed up. I was having "success" in a way of hookups and matches and what not, but nothing was ever going past a week or two of talking, which to me isn't the end game. It may be for some people, but I am ready for something more long lasting, and OLD is not the avenue to find it. I personally can't handle online dating. I just get annoyed with them super fast whereas im way more accepting with a long term friend.
I don't think it OLD is feasible for below average people like myself. When it comes to dating you just have to do what works. So does meeting people. There is the possibility that you are just not good at online dating.