Today, Bert devotes considerable time as a motivational speaker for youth with disabilities, rehabilitation programs, medical education seminars and other community events. Bert strives to reach out to others through public speaking because, more than anything, he wants to give other people in wheelchairs the same encouragement that he has received.
They will just have to do them differently. You are still the same person.
Dating Paraplegics the Ultimate Guide
For example, everyone has a different personality. Usually within 2 or 3 sentences, they no longer see the wheelchair; they see me. You can do the same thing.
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Bert and his amazing wife, Joy, love to take cruises and visit the beach together — like in this trip to Mexico! If you go to the movies, decide whether you want to stay in your chair or transfer into a seat. At a restaurant, do you want to sit in a booth and transfer or sit at a table and stay in your chair. Moving out to a patio? Is it too hot for autonomic dysreflexia? When we go on vacation,walks on the beach and hikes into the mountains are out of the question.
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Instead, we go on cruises, hang by the pool, scuba dive and snow ski together. If it does, you move on! Depending on your date and your age, the sex talk comes up pretty early too, usually by the 2 nd or 3 rd date. This is important too when it comes to having kids.
That may have been the case 31 years ago when I was first injured, but it no longer is. Then we went through artificial insemination — no luck. So then we tried in vitro, and that did.
Dudes find my athletic prowess impressive. This man is in a wheelchair. You never want to be the bitch that shuts someone down strictly based on physicality. As a Former Fat Girl , this is something I hold true. There could be a spark.
Dating Paraplegics the Ultimate Guide
Who am I to rule out this potentially outstanding human being based on his inability to walk? Our banter was good, I found him attractive, he was smarter than the average bear and well-eaten. So we agreed to meet for cocktails in my neighborhood on a Sunday night. Sunday nights are low-pressure.
I had never considered accessibility before. I never had to.
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The uncomfortable scenarios were endless and my self-conscious brain was starting to freak out. What if the only tables available are high-tops? Do we hug to greet? The move was entirely mine since I had to be the one to lean in. When I told girlfriends about him, they naturally wanted to know: It was hard not to glance down at his emaciated legs, and wonder what his height would have felt like next to mine if we rewound fifteen years.
Dating someone in a wheelchair
He talked of his days as a runner. I imagined the grief he must have felt when it happened, then felt stupid for mourning a loss for this person I barely knew. On our second date, I wore a short spring dress and cowgirl boots, picked up poutine, and drove to his place.
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We drank wine, I out-ate him and instead of watching a documentary as planned, we talked forever. After a brief hiatus, we saw each other again a few weeks later for dinner and a show of one of his favorite pianists.