The first few months or weeks depending on the girl will be slow until the girl starts opening up to you. After she does this, you'll soon find out more things about her and will probably figure out why she was so shy in the first place. Just be sure to relieve any of the pressure she'll be feeling of overcoming her shyness and show her your support and love. This is key in dating a shy girl and maintaining that relationship. Be open with her and honest and she'll do the same with you. A quick note from personal experience: I've actually found that certain people just make you feel more comfortable than others.
If holding someone's hand or being close to them causes either of you any discomfort or makes you nervous, you may want to consider if this is the right person for you. I've had one boyfriend who I never could feel comfortable around thankfully it ended and another boyfriend who I felt instantly comfortable around.
There's no point in forcing any relationship if you're not happy or comfortable with it. It may seem like a bad note to leave on, but there are "plenty of fish in the sea" and the one person who does make you feel comfortable and loved may just be out there waiting for you.
Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I'm a Dutch guy working in the Czech Republic and I met a girl just a week ago who I saw a lot of times earlier at my work, office etc We had an office party the day later and we talked almost the whole evening.
Being quite close and I felt that she actually felt quite comfortable around me. Looking into each others eyes, talking quite without issues, yet When I gave her compliments on how she looked looks very stunning and on her beautiful eyes, this actually made her look away and it gave me the feeling that not many men told her this which surprises me as she is a really sweet girl. Now, I realised that she is a very shy girl and probably not used to a man liking her. We did talk a couple of times at work though and I also invited her for getting a cup of coffee in a cafe where they also have cats she loves cats and I'm not allergic, so I thought, best place to make her feel comfy.
Just yesterday I got to know from a common friend that I should be very slow and behave more in a friendly way as I otherwise could scare her off Now, I certainly don't want to scare her off because I'm very interested in who she is and if there could be something between her and me I was not looking for a new girlfriend, because my previous gf was not that sweet I most probably will have the lunch with her tomorrow at this cat-cafe and I'm wondering what to do best.
Trying to be goofy could make me shy: Thanks for the writing and advise and I hope that you can write me if there is something else that I could or can't do to get to know her better. Hmmm, that does pose a problem for sure. The only idea I can think of is try to apologize for being forward and that you hope you didn't come on too strongly or make a bad impression. Over time you could possibly give her a small gift. It'd be hard to find out what she likes, but you said she's a reader, so maybe a popular book?
Find out something about her. It's a bit of a shot in the dark for either of them, but if you're serious about it, give it time. Good things could come from it.
Tips on Dating a Shy Girl to Make it an Awesome First Date
Yeah I had considered that but unfortunately they don't speak anymore. I think they were only really work colleagues and he's not even friends with her on FB anymore so I don't really have a way of striking up a conversation with her outside of her job. That in itself wouldn't be a big problem if it was somewhere I was likely to see her regularly but that isn't the case.
She's rarely working when I go in and even when she is it's not really the type of environment where you can have a long conversation with someone, unlike say in a coffee shop. At the moment I'm consigned to occasional 60 second exchanges roughly once a month, hardly an ideal framework on which to build any kind of comfortable precursor to asking her out.
Then again I'm aware that simply asking her out again will probably just scare her away. I need to find some sort of middle ground but I'm not really sure what that is. It's definitely possible she just panicked. Of all the places that I would find an awkward place to get asked out on a date is the place where I work.
Not only are there other people around, like co-workers, but there's also other customers around. If you haven't talked to her much before and she's shy, she may find it a little odd of some random stranger walking up while she's working and wanting to go on a date with her. Building a connection beforehand is an easier way to ease into seeing if she's interested in something more. She may have just easily brushed you off because she doesn't know you or because there isn't a reason as to why you would like her as you both haven't talked much. Certain girls are more up for just going on a date, but as a shy girl myself, I would never consider going out with anyone I haven't talked to before and knew a little bit about themselves.
The only advice I can think of is to find a way to get to know her a little more. If your friend is on friendly terms with her, maybe have him introduce you or have a group date where everyone has fun playing laser tag, a LAN party or a cinema that she doesn't work at. This was a great read and I'm hoping you can give me some advice.
I myself am quite a shy guy I can easily get up in front of a room full of people to do stand-up but the thought of approaching a stranger makes me feel physically sick. Anyway, there's a girl at my local cinema who I've had a crush on for a while but never really spoken to. A friend of mine used to work with her and from what I can gather she is also quite shy - very geeky, film buff, big reader and doesn't seem to have had much dating experience.
The other day I approached her and asked her if she'd like to go for a coffee and she looked genuinely shocked, hesitated and then said she's seeing someone. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best time to ask her as it was very busy but I kind of wanted to get an answer instead of spending months and months waiting, something which I have a tendency for. The thing is I don't really believe she's seeing someone as she made a reference on Facebook the other day about being the only single person in her family.
How to Date a Shy Girl | PairedLife
Then, when I got home she'd updated her status with: So is it possible she just panicked? Is it worth asking her again or will that just pressure her further? Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Those are some good suggestions, orink3. Thanks for the comment. It's definitely always better to have something prepared if you know ahead of time that you're going to be the one doing all the talking.
This is one of my favorite, early "Ice breakers", a 16 min YouTube link starring T. Short, appropriate poems and stories from one's own past can also be effective, and they also serve to make you feel you're "giving it your best shot". Which salves the soul if things still don't work out. It definitely is a different world that people are growing up in.
I can't imagine what it's going to be like for people ten years from now, when technology advances even further and drives more barriers between people. I'm glad you found the hub a good source of information. This hub has so much valuable information. We asked Nancy Pina, a Christian relationship counselor based in Houston, Texas, for five dating tips every shy girl must know.
Pina suggests developing your personal interests and spiritual life before pursuing a mate. That means rather than take action, these shy women hang back and watch to see if the perfect guy enters stage right. Pina explains that many people face a dating dilemma once they graduate from college and are no longer surrounded by their peers.
They enter the workplace and fall into a pattern that makes it difficult to meet new people. Even if you go to a social function and think nobody there is a good match, Pina suggests keeping an open mind: Everybody wants to be the matchmaker.
How to Make Her Feel Comfortable
All of those hobbies and interests you spent time cultivating in your youth? So get extra mileage out of them by joining clubs, going on trips, taking classes, and following through on your hobbies in new ways that allow you to meet new men you might want to date. It also helps alleviate some of that shyness you might have in a [traditional] social setting. Then set up casual coffee dates with people you like. And coffee dates are ideal because they provide a small window of time in a casual setting.
It makes it easy to look for men without trying to scout them out at a party from behind your wine glass.
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You can be the first one to reach out, too. So, hitch up your pants, take charge in your hands and pick a comfortable place for your date. Please don't overthink till your neurons burst like firecrackers, just decide on a place and timing without humming and hawing over it. Allow the turtle to come out of its shell. Your shy girl is like that turtle that won't come out of its shell until it is sure about its surroundings.
5 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Shy Girl
So, in order to make sure that your girl doesn't retreat into her shell and stays willingly and comfortably, you will have to make her feel so. Get her to talk about her but don't be pushy. As a shy girl myself, I can say that many of us are scared of such situations which are likely to awaken our inner spaz that is known to do more harm than any good. In such cases, as a man, you'll need to understand her insecurities and play along.
Our advice to you - be a little goofy by this we aren't telling you to blow your schnoz or eat lasagna with your bare hands , as in share your awkward anecdotes or tell her how you couldn't figure the route to the venue and things like that. This will help to clear out the awkward clouds. Drip-feed her with compliments. Yes, very important, this age-old trick holds value even for an outgoing woman but when a shy girl sits gauchely across you with a tight body language, this is a very important trick to exercise.
Just tell her how pretty she looks in the dress she's wearing or how beautifully her eye color is complementing your shirt color yea, you can tread in there now , and see that body posture slackening. But make sure you don't overwhelm her with poetic or over the top compliments, this will make the turtle retreat in the shell. Don't break the eggshells. Avoid swanking your legendary sense of humor, if it threatens to trickle then, make sure you caulk it.
You have to tread gingerly with your shy woman - don't get into bantering, teasing, mocking, and similar things of jovial nature with her on your first date. You never know when your jest becomes difficult for her to digest and she leaves you unimpressed and we are sure you will be stressed. So, please, please pick your words cautiously; dealing with the shy woman is like walking on eggshells but you have got to act like a deft ninja if you aim for her heart. Use your ears wholeheartedly. Well, this again goes for all kinds of women but with shy women, this is one cardinal advice to remember.