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And never tell yourself, "He's a nice guy and has done nothing wrong, so I guess I should be with him. Be in a relationship where you feel good when you're without him, but you feel even better with him. It seems counterintuitive, but experts' No. Does he try to see you whenever he's free? Does he seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? Does he have as much fun on dates as you do? These are likely signs he's in it for real, so enjoy being with him and relax about making things "official.
You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though. If it's been about six months and he hasn't dropped one hint about where he sees this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman , a licensed social worker and relationship expert at Pearl. For example, if you'd like him to meet your parents, ask if he'd be up for going out to dinner with them, but let him know there's no harm if he's not quite ready for that yet. Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication. If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell him, Trespicio says.
But if he still doesn't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship. Spending Saturday morning in the soup kitchen or helping an elderly person carry his groceries may be all it takes to have him calling you girlfriend. In a recent British study, people rated potential sexual partners to be more attractive for a long-term relationship if they had altruistic qualities. No need to sign up at the homeless shelter only to impress him.
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Little things in your everyday life, from buying coffee for the woman in line behind you to walking your neighbor's dog, count too. Make an effort to do these things on a regular basis, but also make sure you're showing your selfless side when you're with him. When you're a kind and gracious person, men and women are more likely to want to be around you—both consciously and subconsciously. Think beyond dinner and after-drinks for your next date. Restaurants can be nice, but try something a little outside your comfort zone from time to time. Check out a craft beer festival, see a local band at some hole-in-the-wall, or challenge him to a mountain bike race.
A new adventure can fortify your relationship since it gives you shared memories to reminiscence about later, and that stronger bond will increase the likelihood he'll want to keep seeing you, exclusively.
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As a bonus, the dates he comes up with will give you some insight into how he feels. Even if you're anxiously awaiting his call, you shouldn't be available every time he wants to see you. Wait a few minutes to text back, or if he asks if you're free Tuesday, say that you have other plans but you'd love to meet up on Wednesday.
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This helps him to realize that your time is valuable and that he'll have to go out of his way to see you. Just remember, no one likes playing games.
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