There was a system. Before you met his friends, you'd always have to make up a story of how you met.
At a work event. Not one guy ever suggested we just tell the truth. That we met online. I was meeting his best friend for the very first time.
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I was ready to make up "the story" of how we'd met. But then this amazing man replied, "No. I'm proud of you and how we met. Why wouldn't I tell the truth about that?
Why is there this hidden stigma to online dating? I'm not an online dating apologist. I'm an online dating believer. A hallelujah shouting online dating evangelist. Online dating lets people find each other across time zones, across cities and countries. It can even help someone like me find an incredible man who lives in another zip code across the wide expanse of freeways and canyons in Los Angeles.
What's not to love about that?
Why are we too embarrassed to admit we met our partners online?
Are you dating online? Do you tell people about how you've met your dates? Or do you make up your meeting story too? I blog about divorce, dating, life and love over 40 at RoundandRoundRosie. News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos.
Rather than choosing from the five to 10 single men who happen to stumble into the bar that night, you'll have instant access to hundreds of prospects, with lengthy and detailed profiles describing their background, interests, personality and even sometimes their salary. You think it'll be a bunch of lies? Could be, but don't you think the guy on the next bar stool can lie just as easily?
Nowhere more than in the world of online dating does perception trump reality in the realm of love.
Online Dating: Why Most of Us Just Won't Do It, And Why We Should
There we begin falling in love based on everything but actual human contact. We see a photograph. We read a profile. We begin to communicate via email. We may not hear an actual voice until we're already knee-deep in pheromones. According to a study from researchers at Cornell University, 90 percent of online daters do lie. However, those lies are relatively small. A bit of deception about age is common, but only a 1.
Women tend to shave about 5 percent off their weight, and men tend to add about 1 percent to their height.
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Most people limit their online lying in anticipation of one day meeting their match, and the fear of getting caught. That said, I have to admit that I once got taken in by a serial liar on Match. In his photograph he looked like a year old professor with a full, reddish beard, blue eyes and a wry smile.
He went to the best schools, had an interesting, high-paying job, lived in a great neighborhood, and wrote sparkling, funny emails. Suddenly, I was faced with a man who was 15 years older than his picture, his reddish hair turned white, his lean figure gone pudgy. Not only that, he wasn't confident, witty or even particularly nice.
But I couldn't let go of the man that I had constructed in my head, so I stayed. It took me two whole months to finally figure out that I was dating a simulation of a man who had nothing to do with his virtual counterpart. Now I realize I should have taken one look, turned around and walked away. Many women have a real, visceral fear of the men they might meet online. They worry these sites are chock full of killers, creeps and cads.
Why are we too embarrassed to admit we met our partners online? | Metro News
The fact is, one-third of all Internet users have, at some point, signed up at an online dating site. Surely in that sea of millions of men there must be a sizable portion of "normal" guys. Apart from the freaks, geeks and duds who will inevitably be there, you'll also find men who are shy or not adept at picking up women. Some of them are too busy with jobs or hobbies to go trolling for dates in bars. Some don't like the kind of women they meet there.
Some are divorced and have kids to take to soccer practice or help with their homework. And what about all the new niche dating sites? Are you convinced that all the nicest guys are vegan? Do you want to find someone who loves Dickens or Didion?