We both had good credit but were also honest about each having significant grad school debt.
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Once we were engaged, we fully disclosed all finances and started making a plan for marriage. Honesty in dating and engagement has led to our monthly financial talks being fun and something we look forward to instead of dreading like many couples. That is a great story Jennifer. I love hearing about couples teaming up to take down their debt and meet financial goals together.
I just talked with my girlfriend this weekend about when we should sit down and do a big money goals and planning talk. We are moving in together in a couple of months, and decided that once we do we are going to do a big dig. We already talked about debt and told each other about what we owe. It is great to have been open and shared that much so far.
Interesting how priorities change as you get older. I hear you there Glen! When I was in high school it was all about the cool car, no matter how you got it. Grown up women are much smarter and more mature than their 16 year old counterparts, but I think that helps guys like us in the long run. If I did this I never would have dated my girlfriend. She graduated with over 80k in student loan debt! It was hard for people to get loans while she was in college and college was definitely the right thing for her.
Did you know about the debt before getting more seriously involved? Did it make you think twice about dating her?
Online Dating Site Matches Users By Credit Score – CBS Philly
PoP and I started dating, I let him pay the first couple of times because he insisted. But then when we started switching off, he was so funny. I am on the same page. I always pay for the first few days with someone new, but if I am in a long-term relationship I appreciate sharing costs evenly. I am happy to be dating a wonderful girl who contributes to the costs of our relationship.
No money, no honey? Credit score now the #1 factor in dating
His philosophy has always been, just have fun now because you never know what will happen to you. While I agree, I also worry about the latter and what happens IF…. When we started dating, he had never had a savings account before. He lived small paycheck to paycheck….
His parents also never had a savings account — as they were first generation immigrants, they believed in keeping cash in their home and would always come up short.
So he joined the military since after one year of school, they said they could no longer pay for it and he didnt want to take out loans. When he was deployed to Iraq, I helped him set up an automatic savings account AND set up automatic payments on his car so he wouldnt have to worry about it. Coming home, he had A LOT of money saved and then realized, wow, savings really do add up. That is a great story. He is lucky he found you!
- Credit Score Dating Anyone?!
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Were you worried to get into a serious relationship with him due to the money situation? One of my best friends is married to a man who has problems getting and keeping jobs. We all knew it before they were married but I am not sure she could see it then. She sees it now. Now, with the economy in a slowdown for several years, there are just no jobs out there for him.
That is a tough situation in a relationship. I think our national obsession with credit score is completely misguided, and actively destructive. All it shows is that you have debt and that you pay it back on time. As someone who has healthy savings, and manages my money very well, I do not plan to ever check my own score again.
You can be a complete spendthrift and have a good credit score. I do not give a flying hang about their credit score. I would care FAR more if someone ever had a car loan. You make a good point there Diane. Credit scores do not show anything about saving and investing for the future.
It is just one part of the financial picture. A quick side note, though, a good credit score does not necessarily mean that someone has debt and pays it back on time. If someone has a couple of credit cards for a long time and never carries a balance, they will have a great credit score with no debt. I think it is a good idea to have those accounts around for emergencies, and to build your credit in case you do need a mortgage or refinance. Yeah, credit score can be very misleading. Then I spent a year abroad working again, debit card , and then came back home and wanted to buy a cheap used car.
Despite how financially sound my approach was, my credit score showed me as a totally different person. I was baffled, and did research and quickly opened a number of lines of credit, made a few purchases that I paid off right away, and then just held them. I now have a score just over , and I pay to monitor my credit on a monthly basis after an identity theft scare.
Going from no credit to good credit is easy, going from bad credit to good credit takes up to seven years. Glad to hear you were able to build a good profile so quickly! I do like the idea however. I was always just looking for someone who was where I was at college grad, good job, no debt or paying it off, had resources to travel , who was smokin hot and in good health , had similar interests outdoor activities, travel, nerdy things, cosplay , and wanted the same things for the future family, kids.
That might be a lot to some, but to me, it feels pretty basic. Just meet me where I am and we can grow into a life we both will love. You make way too much sense there Zach. I only ever wanted to date a girl who wants to do something amazing in life. I had no car loans and no other debt at all except this one card that I paid in full every month, carrying no interest. I foolishly thought this would make me look like a responsible person look, no credit cards, and no debt!
But you know what — I still had a great emergency fund, and adequate savings to buy a house. I still knew how to manage money. Reading this makes me so glad that I have a wife that is on the same page as me in terms of money and finances as it makes life so much easier.
I sometimes wonder what matters most in a relationship. According to some divorce statistics, money may be much more important than other things that are much more mainstream to think about.
Online Dating Site Matches Users By Their Credit Score
My husband has little savings given, we just used it for a home downpayment , no retirement portfolio to speak of, a few late payments on credit, likes nice clothes and eating out read: Are you different spending habits a strain on your relationship? Do you ever feel resentful that you are frugal and he is a big spender? The person you describe could have a stellar credit score, as long as they paid on time.
Credit scores say nothing about budgeting or saving, and they just reflect debt. When we were dating we talked a bit about finances- we were in college so watching our cash was important. Once we got engaged we shared the hard numbers — debts and stuff. It was so much an eye opener since we had a general idea, but it help us come up with a plan for when we got married. I bet talking about things and sharing your situation and goals helped build a strong foundation for your marriage. In my single days I dated several women who had adequate jobs but spent like they made twice their salaries with the surplusses either being funded by debt or by their parents.
While they were mostly all nice enough, attractive enough, fun enough, etc… it was always a bit of a challenge for me when thinking about a future. I dont know if credit score necessarily is the issue at hand, but I think you often find that successful couples have similar viewpoints towards money. I can see why this is blowing up. I also paid off all of it on my own without asking her for help.
I never thought that people in debt are inherently bad people, they usually just made uninformed or bad decisions. We can always fix them and move forward having learned a big lesson. In fact I would probably flat out ask before even considering marriage.
However, my wife had a small student loan which she paid off before marriage and I had a larger student loan, which I am in no hurry to pay off. So it work out for us. Why not rush to pay off the loans? I paid off my student loans two years after graduating and it was a huge relief.
Credit Scores and Dating
Once they were paid, I was able to save more for bigger and more important things. My loans are less than 2. I would feel much different if my rates were higher or if my returns were lower. It was all about looking at the opportunity costs more me. We got married younger, so the only credit history we had was student loans and the diamond I threw on her finger. Make sure different types of credit make up your credit mix. But avoid store cards at all costs! And Lane has learned to be thriftier.
That means you have one central household account that each person funds every pay period or every month to pay basic household expenses. Then you also each have your own money to spend how you wish on everyday stuff.
Another approach for couples that Clark talks about is setting a floor limit of spending so you can each have discretionary money. So above all, the 1 rule of handling money in a relationship is to have a budget and stick to it. How couples can get on the same page about money.