Would we have reason to sound the alarm of suspicion? If not, maybe "we"—the syndicated national voice of gays everywhere—ought to ask that simple question: What if this were a straight relationship? Would there cause for alarm? Many teens need the help of your "It Gets Better" Project. Many more are growing up to lead "normal" lives.
But by continuing to help cast a shadow of suspicion, Dan, you further isolate groups of people that could make each other happy.
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Why maintain artificial barriers to our happiness imposed by the very forces we know to be so wrong and hateful? Why is it that your column never features happy Mays like myself? Please also recall that fact that your candor and honestly led to your being so popular and mainstream accepted. If you stray from that, to stay cool with the Google-General Electric-Halliburton-NSA crowd, you will have lost what made you so special and beautiful.
Remember my " campsite rule "? I'm not against olds hooking up with youngs—so long as the relationship isn't harming the younger person. Or the older person—remember my " Tea and Sympathy Rule. And I didn't say—I have never said—that older guys who are attracted to younger-but-legal guys are pedophiles, YLR. In fact I've railed against those who would define pedophilia down to include men and women who are attracted to young adults. You think eight year olds are hot? You think 18 year olds are hot? And I didn't tell OCD that his son's relationship was abusive or destructive due to the age difference.
I said that the relationship, due to this particular age difference and the fact that OCD's son was still in high school, and still living at home , merits a greater degree of scrutiny.
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Reread my response, YLR: I didn't advise OCD to break up his son's relationship; I didn't tell him to murder his son's 31 year old with his bare hands. I advised OCD to talk to his son's boyfriend, to ask him son's boyfriend some pointed questions, to listen to his son's boyfriend, and to communicate with his son about his concerns. I basically advised OCD to be his son's dad. If I made a mistake in my response to OCD, YLR, it was in failing to mention the fact that some young people are attracted to older people.
If I had it to do over again—and, hey, I do! As for your son, OCD, tell him that you realize gay guys his age sometimes date older men because there aren't a lot of boys his own age to choose from. If you didn't already know that, now you do. And tell your son you realize, of course, that some young people are attracted to older people.
SL Letters of the Day: Campsite Rulers
And tell your son that this gay dude you know—that would be me, OCD—told you that something's usually wrong when a year-old is dating a teenager. Lots of happy Mays wrote in way, way back when I codified the campsite rule, though, so I know you're out there. You might also be interested in these: Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events.
Stranger Tickets Buy tickets to events around Seattle. Since October , Savage has also recorded the Savage Lovecast , a weekly podcast version of the column, featuring telephone advice sessions. Since , he has written the column at Eppie Lederer 's desk, which he, a "lifelong fan" of her Ann Landers column, bought at auction after the noted advice columnist died. In , Savage was living in Madison, Wisconsin , and working as a manager at a local video store that specialized in independent film titles.
Savage stated in a February interview in The Onion ' s A.
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Club which publishes his column that he began the column with the express purpose of providing mocking advice to heterosexuals, since most straight advice columnists were "clueless" when responding to letters from gay people. For the first six years of the column, Savage had his readers address him with "Hey, faggot ", as a comment on previous efforts to recapture offensive words. He was criticized for this by some gay activists. During the run of Savage Love, Savage has popularized several neologisms. He has also debunked several sexual neologisms for violent sex acts, including the " donkey punch ", the " pirate " and the " hot Karl ", concluding "They're all fictions.
The campsite rule | Savage Love | Halifax, Nova Scotia | THE COAST
In any relationship, but particularly those with a large difference of age or experience between the partners, the older or more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger or less experienced partner in at least as good a state emotionally and physically as before the relationship. The "campsite rule" includes things like leaving the younger or less experienced partner with no STDs , no unwanted pregnancies, and not overburdening them with emotional and sexual baggage.
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Shortly after a scandal in Portland, Oregon , involving openly gay mayor Sam Adams and Beau Breedlove, who had allegedly turned 18 almost immediately before the two began a sexual relationship, Savage created a companion rule to the "campsite rule", now known as the "Tea and Sympathy rule". The rule is a reference to a line in the play of the same name , in which a much older woman asks of a high-school-age boy, right before having sex with him: In a July 20, column, Savage coined the term "monogamish".
Such couples have an understanding that allows for some amount of sexual contact outside the relationship. The term has since seen mainstream use. In , Savage challenged readers of his column to coin a name for the sex act in which a woman uses a strap-on dildo to perform anal sex on her male partner. Savage reacted strongly to statements made about homosexuality by former United States Senator Rick Santorum in an April interview with the Associated Press.
Following the "rent boy" allegations regarding George Rekers , who has widely promoted aversion therapy , Dan Savage, along with others including Stephen Colbert ,  promoted the use of the idiom "to lift [some]one's luggage", meaning to supply sexual pleasure to, or derive it from, one's partner. This originated from Rekers who, when outed, insisted he had hired the escort only to assist him with lifting his luggage.
Originally Savage suggested that "lifting my luggage" refer to listening to the speaker expound on the "desirability" of converting oneself from homosexual to heterosexual. Later, after several political humorists started employing "lifting your luggage" as an implicit or explicit reference to various sexual acts,  Savage suggested that "whatever lifts your luggage" supplant "whatever floats your boat" in common parlance.
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In , after a controversy involving the Saddleback Church , the column defined "saddlebacking" as "the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities". After receiving criticism for use of the word "retarded"—considered by many to be an offensive slur against those with intellectual disabilities—Savage suggested "leotarded" as an alternative, because "leotard" rhymes with "retard". Dan Savage coined the abbreviation "GGG". Test" on the popular Internet dating site OkCupid , and the invention of a cocktail.
Bush in , but was reintroduced in in reaction to the presidency of Donald Trump. Savage objected to use of the term "pussy" as an insult, saying that vaginas were wonderful, popping out babies, and proposed " scrotum ", plural "scrota", as an insult. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
For the book by the same author, see Savage Love: Campaign for the neologism "santorum" and Rick Santorum's views on homosexuality.