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Every 8 minutes a single person finds love through our services. Every profile on our site is verified manually by our Customer Care team. I was expecting a cultured and dynamic man, instead I got a man in a pair of jeans, a moth-eaten jumper and the table manners of a modern-day Baldrick.
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These agencies trade on their exclusivity, yet the men I met were far from the super-elite they promised. And the so-called "experts" were a group of ex-PR girls with swishy hair and ability to write up a nifty "press release". The thing I found most unnerving, though, was not being allowed to see what my date looked like, let alone have a pre-date chat with them before we met.
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All so important if you are to get a feel of someone. It wasn't too much of a surprise, then, that they rarely got it right. There was the year-old American with a stunning property portfolio, who broke the rules and googled me, only to inform me that I was too old for him; the barrister who invited me to his St James's club, and turned out to be prickly and aggressive; and a man who sold jumpers, who took me to dinner in Fulham and told me I should have worn a clingier dress.
I was about to call it a day and demand my money back, when my matchmaker sent through the details of a publisher from Oxford. We met at a pub near his home. On date two, he said he really liked me and whisked me away to the Cotswolds.
Not wanting to appear presumptuous, he booked two rooms. I was quietly hopeful. But very quickly the debonair man who had seemed laid-back in London morphed into a raging chauvinist in the countryside.