After all, love is love. We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out more. HER HER is the award-winning mix of dating and social media that lets you meet girls you know are girls. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are technically for all sexual orientations — so why are they still giving you male matches when you've specified you only want women? Swiping through all of that is way too much work, and it shouldn't have to be like that.
Claiming to the be the app that "introduces you to every lesbian you've ever wanted to meet," HER is the award-winning mix of dating and social media that lets you meet girls you know are girls, as it requires a Facebook for signup and is solely for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women. It was also created by queer women, for queer women, which is glorious.
Meet Your Lesbian Match
HER has a minimalist layout that encourages users to, you know, talk to each other rather than just creeping. While more intense dating sites will have you fill out a huge questionnaire, HER only asks for the bare minimum so that if you want to find out more about a person, you'll have to ask.
Instead of seeing one profile at a time and swiping, you'll be shown a collage of nearby women and can start playing from there. But don't worry, they give tips for that. We totally encourage you to read Sheets' whole story. Aside from the obvious reason that it's one of the only dating apps specifically for lesbians and queer women without being some gross sexualized thing?
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Requiring Facebook to register solves one of the main issues that comes along with online dating as a lesbian: Desperate men posing as women, attempting to do Eliminating fake and scammer profiles that often pop up on hookup apps gives a heightened sense of security, and makes HER much more inviting to women who may have shied away before.
Even if you're not looking for a relationship, HER is just a great place to make friends in your area if you are at capacity with straight friends. Another refreshing aspect is that HER is so much more than a hookup app, and doesn't even put on the pressure to find a romantic partner. We have seen a few women mention that HER's reputation for being a "relationship app" has gotten so overbearing that it feels like your feed is just full of women complaining about being single.
But this is probably dependent on your location, and we think that the good totally outweighs the bad here. HER is free to download and there are no in-app purchases. Fem Fem stands out by encouraging users to submit video, so you're better protected from catfishing.
Being catfished is one of the most common horror stories across all online dating platforms, but is especially an issue for lesbians with creepy men lurking and trying to pass as women. While requiring a Facebook approval is one way to combat the straight men, another way is to require a video instead of pictures, which is the unique route that Fem takes. Fem encourages users to introduce themselves with video profiles as way to be personal right off the bat and you'll get to hear their voice before meeting IRL, which is a nice touch.
Some of us are too shy for videos raises hand , so Fem doesn't require it, and you can just post your best selfies instead. As of now, it's pretty foolproof. Aside from the video aspect, Fem has most of the average features that you'd expect on any dating app and operates about the same, so there's no weird learning curve.
Fem also has a unique tool called "Rooms" where users can chat in a variety of different groups, send selfies, or talk about some deep shit. Being a lesbian can be lonely, especially if you're not out yet or are having a time making non-straight friends, and Fem gives an awesome opportunity to expand your circle and meet women with similar experiences. Because it's relatively new and has experienced some technical difficulties, Fem has a small user database and doesn't show people based on location, so women you meet might not be from your area.
Fem is free to download and there are no in-app purchases. OkCupid With its matching technology and large dating pool, OkCupid is great for queer women. Basic account that includes messaging: Our favorite of the non lesbian-specific options, OkCupid has truly upped its queer game in the last few years.
As one of the biggest dating apps in America with extensive user profiles, OKCupid gives you a large dating pool and offers opportunities to find a lasting connection. Similar to traditional players like eharmony or Match , OKCupid has in-depth user bios and sets of questions, making the setup process slower than its counterparts.
What's great about this though is that you can be more sure that you're connecting over more than just thinking the other person is hot. It does use swiping like Tinder , but you have a lot more to go off of than just their picture and a quote from The Office as a bio.
OkCupid is a more serious space, and most users are genuinely using their bios to attract lasting connections. One thing that makes OkCupid more relationship-y is that matches are shown based on the percentage of things you had in common in the questions you answered — aka it doesn't just show you every random person in your vicinity who happens to have the same page liked on Facebook. It's not perfect, but it'll help meeting in person go a lot smoother. As their slogan says, "Dating deserves better. OkCupid started out focusing solely on straight people, but has experienced an awesome queer-friendly revamp in the past years, with an expansion to 12 sexual orientations and 20 gender identities in Those who steered clear of online dating in the past due to a lack of inclusive language can now be themselves and find kindred souls without conforming to labels.
OkCupid has also been around forever, and since it's a trusted name means that it has a robust lesbian following. The massive pool may be overwhelming, but it's ideal if you who want lots of options but would rather die than use Tinder. OkCupid is free to register and download, and the most basic features that you'll need messaging, matching, etc. There are two monthly subscriptions as well: Plenty of Fish Plenty of Fish has a large user base and its questionnaires help you find someone you'll have chemistry with, but it's not bisexual-friendly. Basic membership with everything you need: Free Premium membership with extra features: One of the first dating websites to launch ever , Plenty of Fish is one of those sites that everyone has heard of and is likely the first place people go to if they're not into the Tinders of the world.
While the registration process requires some pretty heavy duty question answering, it's only because POF wants to help you find actual chemistry. They're a trusted name for a reason. POF's advertising isn't as aimed toward the younger crowd as OkCupid's "Hey, we're gay" billboards are, so POF's audience is slightly skewed with a more mature audience. Plenty of Fish is one of the older sites out there, and its aesthetic honestly looks like it hasn't been updated since The website isn't very intuitive or nice to look at, but we'll ignore that the iOS and Android apps are much better looking than the desktop version.
Lesbian dating | OkCupid
The matchmaking process is super in-depth: Aside from the usual questions about age, height, body type, etc. Of course, you'll also write a bio and add pictures as well. They really want to get to know you. Launched in just a year before OkCupid , Plenty of Fish has been an extremely strong player in the online dating game and has one of the highest number of daily users over 3.
Chemistry is the name of the game here, and the multiple questionnaires are no joke. This isn't a quick five-second set up like other apps, as POF truly wants you to dig deep so that they can give you the best quality matches. Not only does POF attempt to match you with people who you'll statistically get along with based on answers to questions, it also wants to match you with people who are looking for the same thing as you.
In the "meeting goals" section, you'll specify whether you're looking for something long term, looking to date but nothing serious, etc. That's eliminating awkward "What are we" conversations and setting you up for success by pairing you with people with similar priorities. It's not bisexual friendly. Bisexual erasure is one of the most common letdowns we've seen across any dating site. A site with the M. Somehow, this isn't hurting POF's numbers at all, but it's something to consider if you're looking for both.
POF is free to register and most of the must-have features are free, which is rare. Hinge Hinge will help you get to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted. Free More Matches Per Day: We'll start off by saying that Hinge refers to itself as the "The Relationship App," but our personal favorite self-proclaimed nickname is the "anti Tinder. Instead of basing matches solely off location, Hinge takes your Facebook and will only match you with friends of friends. So if you're tired of meeting really weird randos who are not who they say they are , Hinge wants to aid in pairing people who have mutual friends.
You scroll and judge people off of pictures and small bios like you would on Tinder or Bumble, but it doesn't deserve to be thrown in the "sketchy hookup app" category. Hinge's recent makeover that caused it to explode with popularity brings a professional new look to previously swipe-only dating apps. It's literally like scrolling through Instagram, and there are no dead ends from a wrong swipe. There's no silent resentment brewing over housework or errands, because we both come at things from the same place — the burden is genuinely split, rather than having to tell someone what to do and feeling like a nag.
I know, I know — NotAllMen. I'm making a major generalization here based on my personal experience with a handful of men and my current experience with one awesome-ass lady.
I'm Dating a Woman For The First Time. Here's What's Different
If you've got yourself a man who puts in that mental labour, you're killing it. Have him tell his friends. Encourage him to lead a seminar. This isn't just me and my girlfriend — it's science. Lesbians have more orgasms than anyone else. The home-court advantage definitely holds true but it's more than that. Because nobody's orgasm is considered the "main event," you both get a lot of attention. Oh, and because there's no male orgasm for a big finish, it means sex can just kind of keep going I know many men are receptive to sensitive conversations, and some men can even be MORE emotional than their female SOs, but so many of my friends are scared of looking "emotional" to their boyfriends.
They don't want to be a bother or, worse, be dumped for being "hysterical. Now, my girlfriend and I don't meet the lesbian stereotype of sitting around talking about our feelings for hours — that would be boring. But I feel totally secure mentioning if something's bugging or upsetting me, no matter how small. It means we deal with issues as they come up, before we're stressed to breaking point. This is the bottom line — and the most important part of dating a woman.
Sure, part of it is because my girlfriend is particularly amazing, but in my experience, dating a woman has meant feeling like it's a genuine, equal partnership. We come at things from the same place. Nobody's career is more important. Nobody is the 'head' of our relationship. Nobody is expected to do thankless tasks.
Our future plans and wants and dreams matter equally. Of course there are men out there who are amazing people and make amazing partners — and some women who are selfish as hell. But I've found that, while dating a woman, there's so much more equality and understanding. I feel like an equal partner in my relationship — and that's just how it should be. This article was originally published on Bellesa. Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements. Martin Dimitrov via Getty Images. No feeling awkward about who pays I hate the cheque dance on dates.
With two women, you just get to sidestep them completely. The potential for body-image issues Like I said, some things are harder with women.
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