Whats a good first message on a dating site

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11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: How to Talk to a Girl Online: Proven Openers Updated on January 15, Dating Online According to Pew Research , online dating has lost much of the stigma it used to have. This article has sections on: Opening lines General approaches to starting conversations online Tips on engaging in conversation Tips on making a great profile.

Getting a Date Online I'm going to help you boost your game and give you proven openers that get women talking to you like nothing else. But you're here for the good stuff, so here we go: Quick question, why come on here if you're going to ignore all the guys anyway. You're cute, it's too bad you go for the jock type. Here's how I do it: How would you know I go for the jock guy, you don't know who I am. Well I have a good eye, I can spot those kinds of girls when I see them. You're cute, it's too bad you're one of those shy girls.

Make her feel an emotion surprised, excited, insulted. Feeling something even if it might be seen as slightly negative is better than feeling nothing. Most guys don't put any effort into their messages. If you do, you'll likely see better results. Suggestive and Confident Openers: Are you busy right now? Because you could be.

Do you like muscles? I just went to the store and got some. We could share them. I'm talking about meat, btw. I think we're married now. This is an eloping platform, right? You are the only woman that exists. Now that I've seen your face I can't remember anything else in my life.

I hope I don't have to be at work right now. FYI my profile is fake. If you want, though, you can get to know the model in the photos. Did you know that I run a back rub delivery service? Give me your number and your address and I'll be there as soon as I can. Did you know how much I love and respect all women? If we go on a date, you'll get to see just how much I respect you.

You certainly have quite the hand. We both find each other attractive. Let's just skip the nonsense and get to the inevitable. Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed. I haven't figured out if you're going to be the nicest girl on my naughty list, or the naughtiest girl on my nice list. Very cool profile almost as cool as mine There's so many terrible things going on the world right now that it's hard to know what to do.

Do you like making out? So yes I'm fully available as a man to date, but I thought I should also let you know about this lawn-mowing business I have. Are you trying to work on your golf swing? I don't play, but I'd still like to show you how. Yes, I'm open to being both big and little spoon. No, I don't validate. I'm so manly my beard is growing its own beard. I was thinking the morning after our date, I could make you some over easy eggs and then we could shower together before hopping on a plane to Paris. Any of that sound good to you? You like a decent rapper for a while girl.

Nerdy or Awkward Openers: I'm kind of a rebel. I open chip bags from the bottom. Wow you are so pretty and I look like a foot. Not even a sexy foot, just a normal foot with hair on the knuckles. Guess who has two thumbs and just got off his parent's cellphone plan. Give me your number and I can send you a pic of my thumbs for proof. I think I love you more than anyone's ever loved me. I'd like to get some workout tips from you. OK look, I know I'm way out of my league here, can we just cut to the chase and have you ignore this message as fast as possible.

You might not be able to take me home to Mom, but you can definitely take me home. Alternatively, can I dog-sit for you? Not to get political or anything, but voting booths really turn me on. Have you ever tried a hanging chad? I read the newspaper this morning and I'm not fifty years old. How turned on are you right now? Do you ever think about how life is just one long slow crawl to the middle? It'd be nice to see you there. I mean, we could see each other beforehand too.

Prettiest smile I've seen in a while. Nice profile - I'm way outclassed. Mean and Edgy Openers: Oh no you're trouble aren't you? You were looking for trouble right? Your parents will not like me. I can already tell. I can already tell you're not really a "take home to mama" girl. You're not really my type, but my type also sucks. Want to go out? Sorry you're not really my type. Wow you are not attractive enough to do that lip thing. Based on what I've seen, you seem like one of those crazy girls. Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you fell from heaven. I messed that one up. I'm right behind you.

Wait, sorry that was someone else. Hold on I'm on my way! Did you hear about that puppy stranded on a lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific ocean? Apparently its last wish was for us to go on a date. It was so cute! Hello, yes, I'd like to sign up to join the religion where we worship your face. Yes, the face-worshipping religion. I'm a person too, you know. I don't care what your roommate did.

TINDER OPENERS THAT WORK: 3 Samples To Get The Girls!

Whatever it was, I just want to let you know that you're right and I'm here just to listen to you. If you do nothing, you will continue to receive messages. Do you ever have so much money in your pockets that you get bruises on your thighs. Life is so hard. I've thought it over, and I'm okay with naming our first child Ray, though I don't think it's fair to doom him to a life as a comedian or a truck driver. If she's a girl, though, she'll definitely be hot.

Whoa was that pervy? Do you ever lay down and stare up into the stars at night and wonder why there is so much sadness in the world, and why there are so many times in movies when you see someone make an incredible sandwich but they never get to eat it, or why we haven't met yet? If we went on a date, where would we go, and why didn't you just let me pay for your meal? Your wish is my command. NBD but I just ate a footlong sub. Don't say the first thing that jumps into your head. Make an effort to stand out. Don't say anything like "Ur gorgeous.

According to OKCupid's data blog OKTrends , messages that have words like "sexy," "beautiful," "hot," and "cutie," all received less responses. Girls aren't listening to that stuff, so quit saying it. Stop trying to be cool or cocky. Being arrogant is a turnoff for women. Use words that make you seem a little vulnerable like "sorry" and "awkward" and "probably.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Online conversations are perfect for lighthearted teasing. You can really get to know her when you meet her in person. Be outgoing and positive. No one likes someone who's negative all the time.

15 opening lines that will get a response on your dating apps

People are attracted to happiness. Relax if she doesn't respond. You're not going to get a home run every time you hit the ball. There are tons more women out there. Be enthusiastic about getting to know her. Ask her questions about herself, but leave the heavy getting-to-know-you stuff for in person. On OKTrends, they found that messages with slang like "u," "ur," "ya," and "hit" and "can't" got fewer responses.

The only exceptions were "lol" and "hahaha.

Dating Online

Say something like, "You have good taste in music! I love Alicia Keys too. Notice what works and what doesn't, and who's responding to what you're putting out there. Remember that the ultimate goal of this is to meet up with a woman in person. Don't keep the messaging going on for too long before asking for a number or to meet up. That said, don't push for it too soon either. The longer you're messaging each other, the longer you'll be messaging each other. Unless you went online to get a pen pal, that can get old really fast.

Ask to see her in person. Long messages are hard to respond to. Make her feel something! Make her laugh, surprise her, or tease her.


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An emotional response is a good start to a conversation. General Approaches to Try for OKCupid, POF, and other Online Dating Sites For sites that are more known for people looking for relationships, it's best to try some other kinds of approaches, which will vary depending on your age, where you live, and who you're trying to meet. Here are some approaches you can try: Comment Followed by a Date Suggestion Example: If she takes a look at your pictures and profile and thinks you look cool, you're in. Comment and Question Let's say a woman who now lives in Austin, TX says she's from Montgomery, Alabama and talks about how much she shamelessly loves country music: Now you have your openers, get ready to respond to her replies!

Nine Common Approaches to Avoid. The Generic "How's It Going? Hi This is a pretty common conversation approach, which is like you'd use if you were meeting a stranger in real life, so you say "Hi" or "How's your day been so far? How are you doing today? Random "get-to-know-you" question This could be anything from a "Would you rather. Messages that are obviously cut-and-pasted Take an extra minute and send her a message that shows you read her profile and are interested in her specifically. Complimenting a woman on her profile or giving her bonus points This is kind of a tricky one.

Engaging in Conversation After the Opener The conversation part is where many people hit a wall. Making the Perfect Online Dating Profile. Here are some tips for shaping up your profile. How to Make the Best Profile Your Pictures Your profile picture is the first thing a girl's going to see when she sees your message, so make it count! Some of the main takeaways: Pictures with flash age your face by seven years.

Take your photos outside either in the late afternoon or in the early morning. Blur the background of your photo so that your face is the clearest part. This is really easy to do with online photo editors like Pixlr by using the focal point adjustment. Smile and look friendly. Have a friend take your photo for you so you can avoid the dreaded selfie pic.

When they take it, think about the last thing that made you laugh and smile like you mean it. Don't be a show-off and kill the bro-shot or the gang sign pictures. You don't look cool. Don't Try to Hide Who You Are For the rest of your photos, you'll want at least one clear body shot and some pictures that give a hint as to who you are and how you spend your time.

Keep It Fresh It's also a good idea to test out a couple of profile pictures and rotate them every two weeks or so. Your Profile Name Remember that kid in middle school with the weird name that everyone made fun of? How to Talk about Yourself: Profile Description Filling out your profile description can be daunting. Luckily, there are some proven ways to make yourself look good when you're trying to tell strangers who you are Be Confident Don't talk about how awkward you feel filling out a profile or say anything like "I don't really know what to say or how this online dating stuff works.

Be Honest As tempting as it may be, you shouldn't lie about the hard facts. Be Real Be open about your intent. Be Positive This should go without saying, but your profile is not the place to complain about women or past relationships. Be Interesting Tell a funny story! Making them laugh is a great way to get them interested. Be Brief Avoid going into a speech about your likes and dislikes. Look Smart Use spell check and proper grammar. You Get What You Give Like in many things, the kind of responses you get from women reflect what you're putting out there. Good luck out there!

Questions must be on-topic, written with proper grammar usage, and understandable to a wide audience. You can get the full experience of online dating without actually joining a site. Take a picture of your shower curtain. Eat a meal at a fancy restaurant alone. Write your credit card numbers on the walls of public restrooms. Dosent matter what you say.

If a girl likes what she sees she'll respond. Some of the cheesy lines were cute and I did smile. Thank U using one of your opened question got a lot of women to respond. I totally agree with your advice Steve. They all are interesting and the ones I choose would seem cool-only if they would respond! I guess the only flaw is that you should ask at most 2 questions. Your site is funny and true, btw. You may not realize it, but you have at least one spelling or grammar error on each of your messages.

You want to sound fun, not formulaic. You have an MBA, right? Online dating is an exercise in marketing. What is your target demographic? What are their needs? What does your brand have to offer? I never even reply to those either…. I have done this Steve… And I believe I have done this very well. I get no responses from the Ladies I try to converse with. Although I have received some very interesting responses to my profile. But it seems my appeal for those ladies commenting on my profile is just not there.

But why do I attract the hunchbacks of notre dame? Love your site man but you are trying too hard. The bottom line is no matter how creative you are the woman wants to see what you look like and how tall you are. Even if you pass those requirements you have to message her first and it does not matter what you say. Shallow yes but women are no different. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. I decided to write about this topic for two reasons. Guys need to know that when they send super generic messages, women can tell they copied and pasted that exact message to lots of other women.

I want to see if the structure of my messages that I send out is actually good? Especially when I receive screen shots of first messages like the one below: Submit Your Screen Shot Here. Still time to submit to the worst date contest! Check out the discounts I can offer my readers! You may also like Single Steve February 5, at 5: Checkout Soulmates advice on how to write your first message. First impressions are everything so make sure you nail your online dating message. Your mother always told you so and you never really believed it too much, but the fact is that first impressions really count.

Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch. Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order. So why is it that so many guys and girls yes girls too fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can?

Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.

Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner.