The coworker is 17, and my ex is trying to pursue a relationship with him. Two days before they hung out for the first time, my ex and I had sex for what may be the last time. He said he wanted to focus on the possible new relationship with the coworker and not think about our past because it still hurts him.
I would like to be friends with him too. But the difficult part is that this new relationship will be right in my face on a daily basis. Keep in mind that your ex being only 21, probably has a different frequency from you in terms of what he's seeking out. At this point, there's a likelihood that he's still curious to explore and therefore might have lost interest in the current relationship to pursue something novel.
There's not much that can be done at this point, except to either win him back or to wait it out and hope it's merely a phase he's going through. I was hoping for some insight. We had been dating for 3 years. A year and a half of which was long distance. We have so much in common and shes perfect. Ive dated alot of girls. So we got in a couple small fights December and January over the diatance but still resolved them. In February I send her gifts for valentines day. Which she later said she liked. Literally days following that she tells me we should minimize communication because she has a boyfriend now.
Which was weird because like I said there was no evidence prior. We continued to talk regardless a for a few weeks then she completely shut me out. Since then I wouldnt stop contacting her which was bad I know. I was in her city a few weeks ago and told her to call me so we could link. She called and as hard as I tried I couldnt help but ask several questions about her relationship. She said she cant tell me when it became serious which was odd to me. Yet she said she met him last summer. I got made and she said shed call me back never did. I have yet to go no contact with her for long.
I feel like she would of never called me if they werent. As you were in a long distance relationship with her, it may have been the reason she moved on to a new partner so quickly to which she may have felt a loss of spark for awhile but never had a reason to bring it up until she fell for someone else. This would also contribute towards her being able to detach herself from you so easily after the breakup. You should try going into no contact but not simply with the focus of winning her back, but more so to work on yourself and give both parties space.
After NC has ended, you can decide again whether you want to win her back or not and follow the steps in our articles for more help. My ex and I been together for almost four years. Well anyway, he broke up with me almost three months ago. Life pretty much gotten in the way from a miscarriage from him losing his car and his place. As of right now he and her are doing long distance rebound and I want him back.
He told me he wants me to heal first and then he would be interested in pursuing a relationship with me.
Is there any tips for me? Perhaps spend this time working on things you felt could have contributed towards any issues during the relationship, and maybe even consider improving your appearance or working on your self-confidence in general. Use this article for more guidelines to follow. It's been well over a month after we broke up, I did the No-Contact for about 40 days. She texted me 3 times during this period. I have accidentally met her with her new guy at a pub we first met - she doesn't go there often.
The guy approached me later and we had a chat - now I know that they argue a lot and she was telling him about me much. She joined us and quickly became upset and angry, she asked the guy to leave her - he refused, seemed needy and was trying to hold her. A few times he looked like he was about to leave, but eventually they both stayed for a while.
When I went to grab another beer she was looking at me. BUT - she texted me today asking why can't we just be friends, and repeated that we will never get back together. Then we chatted some more. I am lost, I was cool about them the entire time, but I want her back. Can I make it happen? It's likely that she still has feelings for you but has developed an internal conflict with herself because she's still in a relationship, hence her sudden text to you to try and validate her own thoughts. You did fine by acting cool throughout, and you could continue to respond to her in that manner and slowly show off the changes you've made since the breakup to come across as more attractive.
Hi, Thanks for reply. I did continue to text with her, we switched to phone texts rather than FB messages. She is aware of my progress, mabe just not realised how much better I am now in full. But she again sent a picture of a gift from her new boyfriend - a laptop. This is another time he gives her something expensive. I am under impression that he needs to give her expensive stuff because he has no value. Now - I responded saying "Cool" and then texted her that "I am still hungover XD" - she new I was at the party yesterday. This might have been a mistake. But believe me, when I spoke to her new guy he legitimately asked me how I handled her moods.
Like he was asking for advice. Further to the above, what's my next step? Should I just continue to be "just" friends with her and wait? The problem is she lives at his place, can't go back to her parents. He can see everything we speak about via fb messages, not sure about other ways of communication.
And I don't feel like she would agree to meet up soon either, I told her I was going rollerblading on Sunday and mentioned briefly she can join in, but she refused - she told me she has to work on her drawings for university. Oh, and one more thing worth mentioning - when we were texting on Sunday she asked me if I accepted the breakup and the fact that we will never get back together. In terms of her perspective, her guard could still be up against you and she feels inclined to remind you that 'we've broken up', it sounds like because of her erratic mood as well, that she might swing from feelings of confusion towards both parties from time to time.
You could continue to be friends with her at this point, or actually go back to NC for now because it may still be too soon to make a move. We've been texting for a week now. On Wednasday she called me at midnight, asking if she could stay some nights she mentioned she got new job and it would be far away, but if I am correct where they live the communication is great. She did not show up though. When I asked her on Friday how's her new job, she texted me back when she was finished, asking if I want to pick her up. I wanted to, but she ended up going back home - at first I panicked, but later it occured me that I basically asked her to wait for me for an hour and move a few tram stops to meet me, so no hard feelings.
She also asked me if I would join them I believe she meant her and her bf on some cultural event last night, I told her I don't think I will be there but we will see as my friend wants to go out with me. Then we texted some more, she was asking me for advice again. So, as I see it, she either wants to mess with my head, or really wants me back but won't take any drastic actions for now. She hasn't texted me yet today and it is 7PM. I feel like going back to NC and waiting more will not bring me good this time. They already are together over a month and a half, the longer I wait, the closer they get together.
I think that if I go about it right, they might break up soon, that is if she has feelings for me. So me and my ex who's also the mother of my child of 9 years broke up with me due to the fact she fell out of love for me and felt like we're growing apart and she is seeing a co-worker like a week after our break up i ask her who he is and did she sleep with him but she refuse to give me the truth and when i ask her for a date she say stuff like why and then when and quickly say no i can't your my ex and I'm seeing someone so my question is is he a rebound and is it worth my time waiting for her or should i move on and the guy she seeing usually isn't her type.
The fact that the relationship lasted 9 years and he isn't her type strongly indicates that he is a rebound. Go into NC for now with the exception of contacting her with regards to your child's matters and focus on improving yourself while waiting for this phase of hers to pass. Me and my ex were together for 5 years. We broke up a month ago over trust issues I caused in the first year of us dating. But she has been seeing and talking with a guy she met at a party a few days after the break up. A few days ago they made it official, I guess. Honestly after I heard she slept with him at the party I went crazy and bugged her everyday for a few weeks.
She would talk with me some, giving me mixed feelings and signals, both good and bad. But now I am blocked on everything and haven't had any contact with her since her and him got together. If I start this now, do you think I still have a chance? She's told me she's done and doesn't want anything more to do with me, but this time last year we went through the same thing she was hateful towards me , she just says stuff when she's upset and she doesnt mean them.
Give it some time to see if she means it or not. In the meantime since this guy may be a rebound, simply focus on improving yourself and applying no contact for the time being. My ex and i were together almost 9 years and we broke up 2 months ago. I told her I was willing to try and she was not. I told her if she was just looking for an excuse to be single and date other people that I would at least like to know that because I feel I deserve that truth so i can move on.
I implemented no contact after that last interaction for a month. I then called her one day and she answered, we spoke for bit and it went really well so I asked if she wanted to meet for coffee quick to catch up. I waited another week and called again, same scenario we spoke for 20 minutes and it was going well, and we were both actually in the same area so i asked if she wanted to get that coffee but she had plans with a friend. So tentatively made plans for a few days later and when i texted her that morning to ask if she was still free that day, no response at all, completely ignored.
Since you've been together with her for the last 9 years, its highly likely that she is going through a rebound relationship right now. She may be confused between subconsciously wanting to meet you and her mind telling her not to, which has resulted in this mixture of negative and positive responses. In my opinion, it would be a good idea to take it slow with her, and try not to give her any pressure but only good memories at each point of contact you have with her for the time being, to let her decision become a little less conflicted.
Yet she still text me and we still in touch until 2 weeks ago. I read your article and I give her space like weeks. Before no contact she doing fine and tell me that she still loved me. After 3 weeks no contact, I send her letter and she's reply my text cynically and said she is already close with someone else but not in relationship yet. I admit my mistake and try to call her but she's reject it. Do I need longer the NC period?
What should I do? She may currently be in a stage of rebound, or there's a small chance that she may have started to process the breakup and begun to move on since the break up was 4 months ago. Regardless, because she has responded negatively towards you, avoid pressuring her any further for now and instead focus on yourself. You could try again in about a week or two and see how she responds then.
Ok, me and my girl been together 10 years im 31 she is 29, we met on social media i lived in a different state but she lived in a state i use to live, but my mom an sisters and friends still lived there. Me im wondering if i have a shot? Yes, it would be better to avoid her during this period of no contact. Have a read through this article as we have a section on how to handle no contact if you live in the same household. Hey, me and my girlfriend were together over a year long distance. I spent a few months with here and she Came here too, about a month and a half ago we broke up and we have barely spoken since.
She started dating a girl which after reading about rebounds I believe she is in one with her. I assume we will be around each other a lot so how do I go about winning her back? How should I approach winning her back when she gets here because I know she will still very much have feelings for me as I do for her I just need to get them out of her? I think the best thing you can do is to build up a level of comfort with her, so that whatever she feels can be expressed naturally without any reservations.
Be sincere, fun, caring, and if she genuinely misses you, there would be a high chance that her expressions would show. Hey I spoke to her today a little and she seems exited about spending time with me when she gets here. And a few weeks ago she said no and she never actually gave me an answer today. I have a one year baby with him we planned to marry. In october last year we had a serious fight and we partly broke up. In December we attempted to make it work again,only to learn he had been engaged to someone else and she was also pregnant.
I asked him why he did that he said because i pushed him but he still wants me and he is going to break the engagement. Todate there is still a lot of tension and i feel hurt. A number of times he had tried to show off but i didnt realise what was happening. During the break he had been sending the pregnant girl to drop my baby things he bought.
We have been fighting a lot over this but he still cant let me go saying we are going to work it out. I even confronted the girl telling her he has been dating the both of us,he told to her that we had permanently broken up and she seemed to enjoy dropping my babys things as it proves an end to our relationship.
This time around he is not hiding the fact that he still wants me inspite of his situation with her,he played damb when i told him i was going to let the other girl know what has been going on. Right now i've decided to go no contact because it has been eating me up;although here and there he reaches out to me about the baby and I respond. What must I do? I still love him and somehow blame myself for what happened. Firstly, you have to stop blaming yourself for whatever happened. Regardless of whether you pushed him away, his current actions of wanting the best of both worlds is wrong and should not be entertained.
It's not about giving him an ultimatum, but instead doing what's best for you emotionally and mentally. NC seems like the best thing you can do right now, and if he contacts you regarding your child, you can still go ahead to reply if it's important but otherwise, limit small talk for the time being and focus on yourself instead. I cheated on her and covered it up for a month lying about stuff i didn't do. I ended up admitting it to her, and it was super hard and she dumped me the next day.
She had been hitting me up occasionally saying she misses me and still loves me, that if we were both single in June and I changed I may have a chance to get her back. This was like the first 4 weeks. She hit me up a couple more weeks, like once a week. Then after February 29 she stopped. Its been a month and a half now after the breakupp and she told me two days ago after asking if she still loved me that she loves me as that she cares about me, that she misses me as a best friend, but not as a boyfriend.
She said that she isn't looking past my dishonesty, lying, and immaturity. That she has already started hanging out with someone new, has went on a couple dates and hung out a couple times. Is it too late? You still have a chance, but you have to give her more time to let go of the past incident and for you to show her that you've changed. I suggest applying No Contact for now, and work on yourself in the meantime before trying to start a friendship with her once more.
Is the new guy a rebound? It is also my birthday in like two days, what happens if she messages me. You could definitely reply her with a thank you but keep the conversation short if possible. It's still too early to tell if the new guy is a rebound, but is usually is the case. She just messaged me and I said thank you. She then told me i hope ur doing well and left the conversation at that. Im going to go on the no contact situation now for a month or two.
Things were looking bad towards the past 6 months of our relationship as I needed time alone but my ex girlfriend needed attention and companionship which I failed to give her.. And not to make her choose between her new partner or me. Is she in a rebound? Although she said it is better that I move on and forget about her, she also still wants to play the online games we play together as she still likes spending time with me.
What should I do..? We are going to get married in the game we play this weekend. She knows I still love her, and I know she loves her partner. Could she be lying? What should I do Some individuals require constant attention and companionship from their partner or they begin to latch on to a new person when those needs are not met.
Either way, she seems to be more inclined to her new partner at this point, to which you shouldn't overthink small gestures that may not mean anything because that will drive you crazy. From how I see things, your ex may actually be someone who is drawn to the person that makes her feel positive, while showing her lots of attention and care. If you're able to deal with that and start as friends but perhaps using the game as a way to build a positive bond with her, you might still have a chance. However, if you don't think you can go through with things smiling and pretending to be ok especially while she remains with her current partner , it might be more advisable to move on.
Thanks for your reply Ryan. Regardless, no contact should still be applied, whether it's to give her space to miss you, or even space for you to pick yourself up. Hi , so me and my ex have been together for 2 years i broke up with her about a month ago , this was the 4th time we have broken up and I've done it 3 out of the 4 times , I realized it that I need to change and I love her but she got a new job 2 weeks ago and started seeing somebody else , he s giving her the attention and all the sweetness I started lacking in , they work at the same place and same hours , she said she doesn't know if it's the right choice or not but she's guna try it with the new guy , I tryed everything to convince her but she said she loves me but is afraid we will get together then I will dump her again , what shoujld I do , just let it go and let her try it with the guy.
I've tryed everything ,she said she loves me but yet what's to try something new cause she's happy with this guy they work same place and same shift , he gives her rides home buy her flowers. Given her current fears right now, even if you win her back, she would still be ridden with the insecurities that you would break up with her at any point down the road.
Since she has expressed that she intends to give it a shot with the other guy, you might have to respect that for now, and only try again if they were to end things. It seems like the guy may be a rebound relationship considering that it started pretty recent after the breakup with you. We broke up a month ago and i was like a crazy stalky and jealous ex She kept telling me that she wanted some space and time, that she wanted to be alone, and wanting to respect her choice i cope up with that for 1 week then the miss was too hard and talked and it always finished in a fight and she blocked me on all social media.
Since you've already gotten blocked and acted needy, you should give her some space for now and begin no contact instead. Fighting on under these circumstances would only ruin your chances further in getting back together with her. Yes I had completed NC and it went very well. But I think you're right.. She had been giving me a hard time about a few things, I did try my best to resolve those negative thoughts, because like you said in the 5 step plan its important to talk and sort stuff like this out. I know shes had been speaking to someone else so I don't know if that's playing on her mind.
When I told her that it was best to leave things she kept looking at old photos from stuff we've done together and showing me, so she clearly was emotional about it. Perhaps I need to change my approach and maybe start being a bit more strong headed? If you genuinely want her back, being strong headed might not be the best idea as it may push her further away instead, reminding her of the past. Remember that you're supposed to have changed and improved for the better, so if something is bothering you regarding her, perhaps its best you be honest about those feelings and show her you're capable of communicating effectively.
This might increase her affection towards you and even assure her that your change is something permanent. I was with this girl for over a year. We never got intimate as she wanted to get married. I went out of my way for her supported her financially, accepted and loved her son and family, she never posted anything about us on her social media and in December a week before Christmas we went to Hawaii with some friends.
We broke up while in Hawaii, and 2 months after that trip she changes all her profile pictures to her and a new guy kissing. Ive made no contact since we got back, I was so hurt but seeing that picture made me close that chapter to know she didnt love me but used me. I'm so sorry to hear that Chris, we sincerely hope that you'll be able to pick yourself up in time, and find happiness once more down the road. So on Friday I met up with my ex..
We had quite a lengthy chat about a lot of stuff. We both had quite abit to drink and I was planning on staying over anyway. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to approach this? If you've already completed NC, the fact that she still doesn't see a future could either mean she hasn't fully let go of the negative emotions from the breakup, or that she really doesn't see a future with you at the moment although it's clear that she still has feelings for you. You could consider replying and slowly working your way towards winning her back by giving her more space, or decide to walk away from things.
Okay not looking for advice but would just like to comment that your advice worked too well! After 3 months of doing me, getting a new car, getting a new job, losing 20 lbs and looking and feeling great, my ex came back and said he was over his rebound and wanted to get back together.
We talked for about 5 days and he said he thought I deserved better than him and I was doing so great he didn't want to interrupt that - and went back to the rebound chick. Honestly it was very helpful though - made me realize that he's childish with commitment problems and I deserve better than whatever he is serving. Thanks for the advice! We're really proud of what you've achieved and we hope that these changes have made your life much better. All the best to you! My ex broke up with me.
I just moved out Jan. He says she means nothing to him but yet he spends every weekend with her including Christmas and New Year's. He said it's not cheating because he been told me he wasn't happy. Should I just forget about him? If the break up occurred prior to the start of him seeing another girl, then yes it wasn't cheating. However, if he had started seeing that person while you were still together, and even living under the same roof, he isn't worth it since he doesn't seem to understand the context of cheating or what it means to be in a relationship.
I was with this girl for about to years. It was a long distance relationship and we felt we were made for each other. She always wanted to communicate with me and she told me how much she loved me. We argued sometimes and she'll block on social media me but later come back telling me how she missed me and liked me. Just recently she told me she didn't wanna be in a relationship with me and wanted to be alone and that she doesn't like me.
She wants to be just friends but I really love this girl and I want her. She doesn't text me as she used to and when I text her she doesn't reply. It's like she doesn't care about me anymore. I did the no contact and got in touch with her, she's just been cold. If no contact did not work, you might want to think about why she may be acting this way.
It may be necessary to go about no contact once more for a longer period before contacting her again. However, the alternative to that if you aren't able to cope emotionally is to be fair to yourself and consider walking away. I really would want to walk away, take my mind off her but I love her and I'm always thinking about her. I've started the no contact again but I don't think she considers me a part of her life now.
I just wanna get over with this whole thing. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. We agreed to focus on improving ourselves and not date or hookup with anyone else in the 2 weeks. Well he admitted to me he went on a few dates with a girl 8th grade ex gf When he is drunk he would send me photos of them together. But we still have been talking and seeing each other frequently.
But he is also still taking her out on dates and talking to her. It just hurts so much he is so quickly enjoying dates and time with another girl. It sounds like a rebound especially since you guys were together for a period of time, and he's currently going through a novel experience by dating someone new. I encourage that you follow through with no contact, work on improving yourself, not being his emotional bolster to turn to whenever he needs someone, and give him the space to realize that he's going through a rebound. Therefore, I can say that this does work.
The response actually surprised me because she immediately suggested to meet up face to face, even is she is uncertain whether it will make a difference she says, but it seems like the right thing to do. The month of absence for me was complete hell, I was literally waiting daily to hear from her, but then wrote myself after 30 days, and received a reply. What is very strange however, is that the day after she replied "we should meet up face to face", she blocked me from her facebook until then it was all normal and visible , not unfriended me, but I can't see any posts anymore that are not public.
This is strange, and I don't understand this part. I hope that meeting her in real will bring some answers, as the break was very sudden and very strange, from everything great to a sudden complete stop. I've read on your site that it might be that some exes don't want to upset the other in case they might want to come back, but I do fear the worst scenario, that there is someone else, let's hope this is not the case.
Would also be a bit soon, after 30 days In any case, whereas she said out of the blue "we will never see each other again" around new year, wanting to meet in person is progress. Now I am not strong enough to project any strong security yet, so I hope I won't be too emotional meeting her. I know we should be all manly and have made a change, but the truth is I've been too devastated for a month to make much progress, only thinking: If you have any tips for this first meet, for which I am very nervous feels like meeting her for the first time all over again and what the block in fb linked to that means, pls let me know Hi, im 22 my ex is 23 years old.
He was my fiance for two years and we have dated 7 years. We thought about getting married this year but few years was not good for us. By the way we were waiting till marriage but still did things.. I was working because of our future, he wanted attention, and intimacy i told him we can if he wants to, but he wanted to wait, sometimes i needed attention, because he was playing games.. So i throwed my ring and told him its over. But he didnt do anything he was tired, before that he was always telling me that im the one, he dont want to lose me.
So we had a break, we wanted to start over but the thing was We've met 3 times and everything was there, we were flirting, talking, laughing but when we were talking about relashionship he was on phone smiling, i didnt show but i was jealous. But messages from him and chating was great, we were talking like we used to with romantic emojis and that he miss me.. He told me he dont want to get hurt again and that he will act like everythings perfect and will not show his feelings anymore. What I suppose to do? How do I get back with him? If you were together with him for such a long period, and he is capable of dating other people so quickly, it either goes to show that he may have lost interest in the relationship a while back hence his priorities of meeting friends and playing games over you , or he just doesn't want to deal with the negative emotions of dealing with a break up.
The new girl he's seeing is probably a rebound however, considering the time you've been with him and that's also why it may be hard for him to let go of her so soon, since it's providing for a new experience which he has not had in a long time. We dated for about 3 months before getting together for 6 months. During the dating period we were really happy together.
However, as this was my first relationship, I didn't maintain it well enough to make her happy each day like texting her as and when I'm free. We had an arguement and it got worse after. All she wanted was an apology, my time and attention. I regreted all that has happened. Soon after she initiated to break up as I didn't try to understand and solve the issue within the two weeks. Two months after, I realize she is dating someone new, much older but he seems to be experienced enough to text her every single day including morning and night.
I'm now on NC and not sure what I can do next. It is really hard to initiate conversation with her as she is a loyal girl who sticks to a guy at a time. She will most likely ignore my message if I text. What else can I do? In this scenario, it could either lead to 2 outcomes. The first is that if the relationship you shared was meaningful, there's a likelihood that the guy she's dating now is a rebound and would eventually end.
The second and worse of the two outcomes is that she has moved on to something better and isn't going to look back, because it was your first relationship and didn't maintain it well enough it's no fault of yours. Either way, there's not much you could do right now, except pick yourself up, and focus on NC as well as moving on. If an opportunity presents itself again in the future and you feel something for her still, perhaps you could give it another shot then.
How long do the rebound relationship usually last? What if the new guy is really experienced and treats her well enough of the things I didn't do? Is she still feeling emotional about our relationship or that she has moved on to the new guy? I only managed to understand the whole stituation after the break up and it gave me a lesson learnt. I really do hope that I can get her back together and do the right things for her to be happy. It is a torture to be waiting and thinking each day when will they eventually end.
A word of advice would be to not sit around and wait for them to eventually end, because there's really no telling when it will end. In this particular situation, I hate to break it to you, but he may or may not actually be a rebound considering that you had no prior relationship experience, so there was a limit to the impression you may have left her with. I suggest focusing on picking yourself up, and even trying to move on for the time being - you might want to consider dating again in the near future to gain more exposure as well.
If she happens to break up with her current partner in the future, and an opportunity presents itself, you could always consider your options then. I commented like a month back about my ex breaking up with me and moving onto a girl who is He is 24 and I am So it's been 3 days past the 30 day NC period and still haven't started any contact again. I didn't do so well in the no contact period. I was motivated in the beginning and still am, have been going consistently to the gym, reading motivational books, but have days where I am crying for hours.
Now they are becoming more often. Also 2 weeks ago, my ex who blocked me on everything did this thing where he followed and unfollowed me on snapchat after an hour and then the next day followed me didn't follow back at all but then posted pics with her that night on instagram. I also found out he unblocked me on all social media and even my number but made his instagram private.
I'm getting too into details but I thought it was weird because I know he blocks contact with exes and apparently he's so happy with her. They haven't posted anything on instagram since that post like 2 weeks ago but all the posts are still there. I'm still confused and really let this get to me in the 2nd half of NC. I'm also really hesitant about contacting again. Do you have any advice on where to go from here?
Social media has the tendency to present a very false state of truth, where people post pictures or snaps of being happy or traveling the world, but actually have many issues they do not show. Just like how you upload snaps of going out with your friends and looking happy, your ex might be doing the same. However, if he's seen all your posts and unfollowed you after, he might be curious to see how you've been doing, and may even start to feel confused.
That being said, he isn't about to just break up with his girlfriend immediately and jump back into your arms. Time is still needed for events to unfold, but for the meantime, you should focus on why you've been feeling worse lately and crying more, instead of waiting for him or thinking too much about the situation.
The likelihood of her being in a rebound relationship is dependent on the type and length of relationship the both of you shared. If things were serious and there was a meaningful relationship, it's possible that she is going through a rebound. But you also have to consider why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, because that would explain further how she feels about you. I would recommend letting her relationship run it's course, and you shouldn't interfere with it, as it may push her further away. In the meantime, focus on the potential issues you had as a partner, and work on improving yourself.
That way, when you decide to contact her again, at least there's a significant change that she may notice from you, which further sparks interest. My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly 5 years. I was 18 when we first started dating. We had an amazing relationship, we both knew we wanted to be together as we discussed marriage and kids.
However, over 6 months ago my feelings seemed to have changed for him, I told him about it and broke up with him We were great for 2 months however his family decided to cut me off because of what I did and treated me poorly. I lost all my confidence, I lost direction and I just knew he could do better than me. So I broke it off with him again and this was just over 4 months ago. He was devastated, he tried so hard to get me back in the first month as he told me I was the love of his life. However, when we met up one night he told me he has slept with someone at his work and basically his feelings changed towards me.
I stopped contact for 7 weeks. I heard nothing from him, so I contacted him because I found out he lost his job. We started talking again, we went for lunch and he was shocked in how well I was looking so he was messaging me a lot to hang etc He told me he missed me. He kept snap chatting me since then and I found out he was seeing the same girl he slept with from work through mutual friends as he was taking her to coffee shops and shops my friends work at. I asked him about it and he said he has no feelings for her at all and that hanging with someone because he was miserable made it easier.
He is constantly with her and they were together NYE. I decided to cut him off social media along with his family. What do you think this relationship is? Because prior to cutting him off he was sill occasionally talking to me and always snap chatting me. As he told me that if I stop talking to him there would be no hope for us in the future. I feel so confused. It could very well be a rebound relationship as he doesn't want to personally deal with the emotions of losing you, and decides to take comfort in someone else.
If he is cutting you off right now, you shouldn't linger around and wait for him as you've tried reaching out once only for him to sleep with you then go back to dating the other girl. Hi I broke up with my ex on 20th December and i was really confused The thing is that i was talking to this guy, that i thought i liked, on a social media ig and even tho my ex told me he deleted my account from his phone, he lied and a few days ago, he saw the conversation and got angry and hurt But soon after i saw him doing the same thing, even worse.
He was flirting with another girl and he was acting the way he used to act with me when we were together. Right now, the best thing to do is to give him some space to cool off. He is acting this way clearly because he is upset at your actions and wants revenge. Never let that get the better of you, and just let him know that you're sorry once more before applying no contact.
I'm 19 years old, my ex is My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2,5 years. We broke up 6 months ago. One month after our break-up we kissed again at a festival and it was quite obvious that she wanted to get together again. She wasn't drunk when we spoke about this. However I wanted to slow things down a little bit just to give us some time to think about everything. Right after the break-up I wasn't really panicking or anything just because my friends and family took me out a lot and there was never a really a moment for me to actually think about what had happened. The main reason why we broke up it was a mutual decision was the fact that I didn't give her much attention near the end of our relationship, as I was in my first year at university and I was quite concentrated on my work.
I didn't know well how to manage my time, so we sort of lost connection. About 4 months after we broke up we started talking again and I realised that I still loved her. However, she told she had had sex with someone who then turned out to be a player. We met a couple of times before I found this article and I told her that I still loved her. She said that she was over our relationship. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine told me that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and that she was interested in someone else who apparently doesn't even look at her in real life.
I've been doing the NC-rule for about 25 days now. One day I accidently bumped into her at the supermarket and I didn't say anything to her so now she thinks I'm mad at her which a part of me is. How should I consider the guy she's interested in and should I stick to the regular 5 step-plan from this website? At this point, you should take what things are happening at face value. You could always start off as friends first after your NC and just slowly build a connection back up if you genuinely still want her back.
But never put pressure on her to make a choice since right now, both of you are not together. We got to know each other really well, had common goals, and were even talking about marriage since that was very important to him I was hesitant because he would talk about getting married 2 years from now which was early for me. We're both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. We started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn't feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it's like we hadn't fought.
It felt like he really wanted to make it work. He did mention this classmate he worked on a project with and went to her apartment. Both his exes cheated on him so he had trust issues so he said he would never do that to me or go behind my back. I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on I told my ex I wasn't interested but he didn't like it. Do you have any advice? It seems like he's trying to get back at you, and this girl is probably a rebound that was emotionally there for him during the times you guys were fighting.
If he really has nothing in common with her, they would not last. Also, based on what you told me and how fast they jumped right into things, it would seem like she's most likely a rebound. Focus on your life, improve yourself, even go on other dates. If you guys shared a meaningful relationship, it's unlikely that he would get over you so quickly.
I'm just so confused. He just didn't seem like the type of guy to do that, especially since he would say I'd never do that to anyone since both of his exes cheated. But it was only like 2. I don't get it. I'm nervous because he started saying things like it wasn't love for us even though he thought it was and that we weren't compatible. In the months of getting to know each other he would say we were a team and we had a lot in common. Hi, I posted earlier, but I don't think it actually posted bc I can't find my post now. He said he loved me, believes he is in love with me, and that I'm his best and only friend but I deserve everything I want and he doesn't think he's the guy to give it to me.
I'm the longest relationship he's had as an adult, the only woman he's said I love you to, and the only woman he's lived with. He has not had a serious adult relationship. However, 4 days later he was sleeping with a woman from work who is the exact opposite of everything he's ever said he's wanted.
She 37, mother of 4, divorced, uneducated, smoker, and a truck driver at the same dead end job he's at and hates so much and trying to leave when he's done with his master's. He's explained that she's nice and he's not just sleeping with her. That he likes her despite the ridicule he receives at work. He told me he prefers me over her and that she doesn't even come close to me so I am not to compare myself.
We agreed I would move out in June, so he has since moved out and he found a rental close to her. She is already posting on facebook that he's the one. Meanwhile, every time he comes to maintain the property he tells her that I'm not here and he proceeds to hug, kiss, and spank me playfully. I told him if he really liked her then he would be honest with her. He agreed that he doesn't want to be that kind of man for anyone. It sounds like he got a case of cold feet, but I'm not sure. He seems to be doing everything in his power to make it work with this woman who is so obviously a poor replacement of me but also an excellent distraction from him having to deal with our breakup and lovers and best friends.
In fact, he still admits that I'm still his best friend and he can't talk to her as openly and without defense as he can with me. I don't want to be the other woman in his relationship, but is this a rebound even if he's trying to do everything right and take her wishes into consideration? Also, am I being wishful in assuming he got a case of cold feet? Do I proceed with no contact? I've been doing my part in bettering myself. Every time he sees me he tells me how great I look and that our breakup suites me. I've told him I went on a date to which he showed jealousy and admitted it but then shook it off saying he can't really say anything considering what he's doing himself.
Is there hope for us? There might be hope for you, but not right now. If that relationship he's in is a rebound which it sounds like , then you should not continue to stay hopeful in one place but at least move on a little, so that you don't constantly think of it. I would suggest proceeding with NC and just in general, moving on with life for the moment.
I appreciate the feedback and I'll continue to work on myself. Actually, I'm feeling better about myself everyday. It wasn't a bad breakup and we both remained respectful and civil with each other. There's love there, I'm just not sure whay kind of love it is, romantic or friendship. But I'll move forward as though it's done and let him figure out what he wants in life.
Meanwhile, I'll just get back to being who I was before I dedicated my life to him and his well - being. Hey Ryan, I was with my ex for 9 years. He proposed in may and things seemed fine. Maybe a little stressful with wedding planning and me being in school and working full time. Then around mid october out of nowhere he states he's unhappy and he's been unhappy for a while and that I treated him like shit for 9 years.
I know I can be snappy at times and I begged for the first couple of weeks to give me another chance and to work on each other but he would just say that he gave me so many chances. In the back of my mind I always had this gut feeling about this girl that he was working with. Since last november I told him I felt uncomfortable with him being friends with her. Last December someone actually made a fake facebook account and messaged me how close the two of them are and how they hung out before school all the time.
When I confronted him he said some crazy person at school was starting rumors. Fast forward to the present I found out that they have been talking and he went to her for our relationship advice and they both got feelings for each other. I caught him at her house and she met his family 3 weeks after we broke up. I know this has been going on for a while so I am unsure if this is still considered a rebound. He lied to me and his friends about the girl and is still trying to hide her. He told everyone that he and the girl were going on a break to prove to everyone that he did not break up with me for her.
Over the next month and a half I have been seeing a therapist and things seemed to be going okay with my ex and I. He would always be the one to initiate the conversations and we went shopping, dinner, and the movies a couple of weeks ago and things seemed great. He even texted me how much fun he had. He just keeps saying he is scared to give me another chance and doesn't think that I will change. He would go back and forth every couple of weeks. An example, I was in Miami one weekend and he was constantly texting me and his friends telling us that he wanted to work it out.
As soon as I told him if we are trying to work on each other then he would eventually have to find work somewhere else he flipped out saying I was trying to control him. He obviously still wants to be with this girl and is now using the excuse "I'm working on myself. I have not spoken to him in a week.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)
I am just afraid that not talking to him is bringing him and the girl closer together. Do I continue with the no contact and is this girl a rebound or not? He would think you aren't capable of change because you're still in relatively constant contact with him and just like it's hard to tell if someone lost weight if you saw them everyday, this works out to be the same - change can't be seen clearly if you see the person or talk to the person constantly.
I suggest proceeding with NC to actually work on any issues you had to become an improved version of yourself first. This girl could be a rebound but it really depends on the situation was he cheating all this while or only started dating her after the breakup. Honestly, in this situation, you might want to mentally prepare to walk away because if he can't even be honest towards you or his friends about this, you might find it hard to trust him on future occasions if you guys were to work things out.
I just think he's using the excuse I won't change because of the girl. Clearly if the girl wasn't in the picture we would be able to work on our relationship and you would think he would want to give me another chance because he did propose. I have not spoken to him in 2 weeks other then just saying merry christmas yesterday. I do not think he physically cheated while we were together but he did emotionally cheat. He was talking to her over the past year when I asked him not to and he would lie about it. He apparently saw her in the summer with another coworker and I had no idea and her number was changed in his phone.
He caught feelings for the girl and other then stepping back from the situation he kept going on with it. I had all his passwords so I could see what he was doing with the girl and that is how I caught him because he was lying to everyone about her. Now I really don't know what is going on because I'm kind of starting to not care. I still want to keep up with the no contact and see how that goes. Hiii okay I need some advice So I dated my boyfriend for 3 years, we moved in together at the beginning of this year.
We had a difficult relationship - I cheated once, he cheated a few times. We broke up for a week or so last year and then we got back together and decided to start fresh, no more cheating or anything we were gonna be serious. Then we moved in together a few months later. He has used this as leverage and an excuse to cheat throughout our relationship.
Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs
About a month ago he told me he cheated again - we broke up. For a week I had to live there and he was so cold, didn't talk to me or see me. He was plain rude. Then I moved out and he came running back, saying he regretted everything and he still loves me and wants to work it out. I went away on a trip for 3 days, when I came back he told me he doesn't know what he wants and he has met someone else who makes him really happy.
It's been a month and I have not talked to him since. So far, he has proceeded to delete me and all my friends on Facebook, but he's still making pointed posts like "it sucks when you give your all to someone and they don't do the same". This morning, I discovered he made a post on instagram with This new girl and captioned it "I have never been so happy, it keeps getting better and better with you". He had been following me on instagram up until this morning - so he made a post and then unfollowed me.
I don't necessarily know if I want to get back with him, he has really hurt me and I don't know if were right for each other. However I still really love him and im hurt that he possibly moved on so fast. Does this sound like rebound behavior? If I decide I want to be with him and try to get him back, what steps should I take?
Your advice is appreciated!! What you're describing sounds a lot like rebound behavior and isn't something you should be too worried about. If he could latch on and run back to you the moment you walked away, and yet latch onto someone new as easily when you're gone for a couple of days, it doesn't sound like it's a person you can feel secure with for a prolonged period. That's just my opinion and if you genuinely want him back as opposed to moving on , it's something you need to be mentally prepared for.
In the meantime, I would suggest applying No Contact and first focus on picking yourself up before deciding again what you should do. Hi Im Mary and i am quite confused of what this guy whom unfortunately I love so much wants. We are in a long distance relationship and he left me last September telling me that he cannot bear the distance anymore and that he needs a gf that is physically available.
It was the worst heartbreak I experienced in my whole life and it left me shattered. Even after the breakup we still communicate as he always wants to be friends. After a month I felt tired and all I know was that he finally found someone else. I didnt contact him for almost a month but now he is coming back to mylife again saying that he misses me still. Now i am confused if this guy is even worth loving for after all what he did or is he just trying to fool me around again knowing how much I loved him so hes taking an advantage? It could be either reasons. You know him better than anyone else.
Instead, just build attraction and connection with her to the point she decides to leave the other guy for you. Unfortunately, there is no way you can stop her from sleeping with someone else. I know for some guys, the thought of your ex girlfriend in bed with someone else is sickening. But if she decides to have sex with someone else; she is not doing anything wrong. You both have broken up and she is not cheating on you by sleeping with the other guy. And if you freak out about it and try to control her actions; you will only look needy, controlling and manipulative.
In very rare situations, you can. But you should not try doing this until you are absolutely sure what you are doing. If you and your ex are speaking regularly; and she is honest to you about wanting to sleep with someone else; you can do one of the following. You can either give her your approval to sleep with the other guy which we can both agree is out of the question. You can get angry, call her a bunch of degrading names and give her an ultimatum. This will definitely push her towards the other guy. You can be calm about it. Tell her that if she does choose to sleep with someone else; it will hurt you terribly.
Tell her that you have chosen to not have sex with someone else until she is in your life in any capacity. Being honest in this way will make her want to not lose you and will probably make her stay loyal to you despite the breakup. That if you just somehow convince her that you understand your mistakes and you have changed; she will forgive you, come back and you will live happily ever after.
You are broken up. She even has another boyfriend. This is a whole different game. This will make her put up her defenses because she will want to stick to her decision. Telling her that you will do what she wants get married, spend more time with her, make her a priority etc. You had your chance to prove to her that you can change. She gave up on you and broke up with you. She is no longer trying to make you jealous. We will get into that as you read the rest of this article.
In a lot of cases, it will be obvious if she is in a rebound relationship. You can read more about the signs of a rebound relationship here. But in some cases, a lot of guys obsess over her being in a rebound too much. They are constantly looking out for signs of a rebound and keeping tabs on her through social media or common friends.
If you are not sure she is in a rebound, consider it a rebound. You still make your moves assuming she is in a rebound. Besides, there is always a chance her rebound relationship turns into a serious one in the future. A lot of guys are resistant towards the idea of doing no contact when their ex girlfriend starts dating someone else. If your ex is dating someone else after the breakup, she is not doing this to get you to fight for her.
My client was able to get her to be honest and open up about how she felt. In my experience, most girls who go into a relationship too fast after a breakup do so because they want to move on. They do it because they hope being with someone else will help them forget the breakup pain and fill the hole in their life that you left. You will fight for her, but not from a position of weakness. You will do this from a position of strength. And no contact is important for that. In some rare cases; your ex might be so immature that she is dating other guy just to make you jealous and do something out of desperation.
The best way to deal with immaturity is by being mature and calm. You can take the power away from her by focusing on yourself and healing as we discuss in the next section. Healing during no contact is essential if you want to look confident and attractive when you get back in touch with her after no contact. While she is trying to avoid the breakup pain and grief by going through the honeymoon stage with the other guy; you are going to be doing the hard work.
She might find a momentary relief from the rebound relationship; but she will eventually have to face the reality. The idea that if you get back together, it might be an amazing relationship. Here is what you should keep in mind during no contact. This is the only solution if the thought of your ex and the new guy is not getting out of your head. If she is being immature about this thing and blasting her new relationship all over Facebook, twitter, Instagram, snapchat or her WhatsApp status, you should block her.
In some cases, your ex girlfriend might be immature enough to play this post breakup game of who is doing better. This, in reality, is a sign that she still loves you and is not over you. This is why you must block her from all social media. On the contrary, when you take the power she has over you; she is going to panic and will be forced to look inside herself and realize that she really misses you and her new relationship is shallow. If you feel like punching the wall in anger, go ahead and punch the wall in anger or choose to punch the pillow and avoid the regret.
It only gets better with time although, you can fast track this. But you must also balance out the grief with something positive and constructive. Healing alone will not be enough to get your ex girlfriend back if she has moved on to a new boyfriend. You need to become a better person. Here are a few things I believe you should work on if you want to win her back and keep her forever. Do you know that girls rate confidence as the most attractive trait in a guy? According to many surveys that I am too lazy to link here. Luckily, confidence is something that can be learned.
The easiest way is to start being honest with yourself and everyone else. Face your shame and anxiety head on. I have some actionable tips on building confidence in my awesome article on getting your ex girlfriend back. Another great way to portray more confidence is by setting life goals about things that you are passionate about and working on them. When I talk about becoming a better version of yourself; I want you to try to work on every aspect of your life.
Working on your physical appearance is a great way to feel better about yourself, heal from the breakup and become more confident. Your ex was already attracted to you physically. But you can increase your chances by going to the gym, bulking up or slimming down , getting a new haircut, getting your teeth cleaned; or by getting new trendy clothes. Being confident and looking good is something that attract girls to you in the first place. But the thing that keeps them with you for a long time, is emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is something that girls find extremely attractive once they get close to you. If you can be empathic; understand her, understand her fears, her desires, her strengths, her weaknesses, her life goals; you will be irresistible for her. Almost everyone has a deep desire to be understood and accepted by someone they love and are attracted to. In an ideal world, you will contact her a few days after her rebound has ended.
When she is feeling down and miserable about the breakup and is missing you terribly. In some cases, it might not even be a rebound relationship. It might be a serious relationship that she really wants to last. Once you feel you have the right mindset, you have built enough confidence in yourself, and you have acquired the right tools and skills; you should contact her. I talk about mindset, skills and tools in this article on what to do after no contact. There is no point in waiting for something to happen that may never happen.
If you are confident that you are ready, you should take the plunge and contact her. Text messages have a unique advantage when your ex is dating someone else. She can look at your text messages at her own time and reply to them if she feels like speaking to you. And he will look insecure if he is snooping into her text messages to find out what you texted. It really depends on the way things ended between you two.
Read my article on texting your ex girlfriend to figure out the best way to contact her. Again, read my article on texting or my super article on winning her back in 5 stages. However, the approach you take and your chances of success will vary depending on the type of relationship your ex girlfriend has with her new boyfriend. When your ex girlfriend is just going on dates with some other guy and has not really started considering him as her new boyfriend; you can be a little aggressive in your approach.
How do you know if she is just dating the other guy and does not consider him a boyfriend? In most cases, you can tell this simply by the way she speaks to you. If she has not started a relationship with him yet; she will respond to you more frequently and will enjoy the attention she will receive from you. She will want to weigh her options before making a decision. If you have done everything right till now the steps mentioned in part 3 of this article ; she will notice the changes in you and will start doubting her decision of breaking up with you.
Your goal is to try to get her to meet you as soon as possible Read Stage 4 of this article. But, if you have not healed till now and you are not ready; she will choose the other guy over you and might even decide to commit to him. If you are not emotionally and mentally ready to reconnect with her, you should let her get into a rebound. You should not rush it in hopes that you can stop her from starting a relationship with another man. Think of it in terms of your chances of winning her back. Your chances of winning her back when you are needy, insecure and unattractive are very less compared to your chances of winning her back from a rebound if you are confident and a new better version of yourself.
If you act needy and desperate at this stage; you will confirm her belief that breaking up was the right decision and it will get even harder for you to get her back in the future. Her new relationship might be a rebound; but you must still respect it. You must set boundaries in the way you flirt with her. This is a bad way to start a new relationship with a person you love. Instead, you must slowly develop an emotional and physical attraction with her. You want her to get confused about her feelings for you and her commitment to her new boyfriend.
You want her to realize that her feelings for you are much stronger than the other guy. This is how you make her decide to leave him for you. If she is serious about making her new relationship work, you will have to be very careful and very patient with this. Read this article on rebounds to find out if she is in a rebound. She wants her new relationship to work and is committed to her new guy.
Convincing her to be with you is going to take a lot of patience and a lot of luck. But if you think she is worth it; then you owe it to yourself to give it a try.
Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Even if She has Moved on to a New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)
Although, I highly recommend that you try only once; and if she does not respond positively; you leave her alone and move on. You are better off spending your time and energy focusing on yourself, moving on and attracting new girls. If you do things that make it super obvious you want her to breakup with her new boyfriend; it will make your ex-girlfriend put up her defenses and cut you out.
Instead, you need to just be the best version of yourself and focus on rebuilding attraction and connection with your ex girlfriend. As she starts feeling more and more attracted towards you, she will start feeling more and more distant from her new boyfriend. Getting her to meet you while she is still dating the other guy is going to be a big challenge. This is especially true if she is committed to the new relationship. In most cases, her new relationship is going to be a rebound and she or her new boyfriend will eventually end it.
Hopefully, just getting back in touch with you and realizing she still has feelings for you should be enough for her to break up with her new boyfriend. Girls usually consider meeting an ex; without the knowledge of your boyfriend or girlfriend; a betrayal of trust. So, she is probably going to deny your invitation of meeting up, even if she has feelings for you and wants to meet up.
She simply wants to maintain her integrity in her own eyes. Of course, there are exceptions to the above rule, and if you think your ex-girlfriend is one, you can straight up ask her out on a coffee or to meet up for drinks. But if you think your ex-girlfriend holds herself to high standards; you might want to find a loophole for her dilemma. These are all great ways to give her an excuse to see you without making her feel like she is betraying her new boyfriend.
If you have followed everything in this article, then your ex-girlfriend will probably dump her new boyfriend by herself. But if she needs a little push, you must give her a strong reason to dump her new boyfriend for you. The best way to do that is if you can show her not tell her ; that everything will be different this time. You need to show her that you have really changed for the better and you are going to be this way whether or not you get her back.
You want her to realize that you are a high-quality guy and the next girl you are going to be with is going to be very lucky. We have covered a lot of ground in this article. If you are still interested in more from me, I highly recommend you take this quiz and subscribe to the EBP Basics E-course.
I share a lot of insights to my subscribers that are not posted on my website. In my email series, I share many more tactics which you can use to get your ex-girlfriend to leave her new boyfriend and get back together with you. Scroll down to read the comments. Before commenting, read commenting guidelines. Hi Ryan I was in a relationship for 5 years and we broke up like 1 and half years now.
I went through no contact several times. I went through a great changes both physically and mentally and she also did the same. I was trying to move on when she sent me a text message checking up on me so obviously that opened up the line of communication. So we started having lil talks.
My best mates visited her and she told him that she got a bf but later she denies it. So anytime the issue of bf comes up she get angry and says she is not dating. Later on when I pressed her cos I heard the guy came from another state to visit her and she said this to me after a night with the guy. He is someone who took interest in her and she just going with the flow but she will never loved anyone the way she ever loved me, we had a family get other this festive season and she was there.
We had a deep convo for the first time and she asked me about my love life and I was completely honest with her that I had a couple of girls and also I was trying to date. She seems alright but later she told me that whilst she only had one guy I had so many girls that I look cheap. She sent me messages thanking me for opening up with her and also she said she tries to cut me out but she can't because I am a friend and also like a family.
On new years eve we had a group dinner and she had a call from the guy she quickly told him she will call him back. We talked about our getting back and she said it going to be a long process. She sometimes act cold or hot towards me. She becomes more appreciative about things I do for her but she wont give open up and I think I am a bit impatient with that. What should I do. Thank you so so much for this, I know a lot would have a positive vibe and outcome because of this!
My girlfriend left me for another guy after 4 years and we even lived together. I want her back what should I do? It's probably just a rebound and your best bet is to focus on yourself for now and allow that relationship to pass it's honeymoon phase so that it becomes clearer to everyone.
In the meantime, give her space and follow our 5-step guide as it would help you increase your chances when you reach out later on. Hi Ryan, Man my situation right now is a bit different. Me and my GF broke up 3 week ago. I did no contact and everything and started talking to her again. It went very smoothly and she said we can be best friends for now as I can't come in any relationship with anyone. A guy proposed her but she refused. But right now she talks to me about guy she has crush on and everything about there talks.
What sign can I take it as and what should I do to get her back? I have done a lot of improvements in myself and on the reasons which caused the break-up. The best thing you can do right now is to keep calm and be confident, while building up this friendship you have with her into something more personal again. Avoid getting needy or insecure and projecting these feelings to your ex, because it would only push her away. Me and my girlfriend for 4 years broke up 3 weeks ago and for one week I acted like a maniac and did all those things which you mentioned as mistakes. After reading your article I did NC but in a day she contacted me and said that no matter what she will not be able to come in any relation with anyone but there is a guy who is similar to what she always admired to be her husband.
She is in constant talk with him and loves to talk to him too. We broke up because of my insecurities, trying to control her and attention issues. I have improved a lot by now but I don't see any hope of getting her back. I am 22 and my girlfriend is 23 years old. What should I do in this case? Please reply to my query as this is the 3rd time I am posting this. If you want to win her back, you're going to have to ultimately meet her expectations and come across as someone who is the better option in comparison to the other guy.
Start by becoming friends again before you try to build on the connection and attraction with her further, but before you even go into that, it might be a good idea to complete no contact first in order to give her some space to let go of the negative events that took place after the breakup. I did the NC but right now we are talking like best friends. I mean she shares everything with me about every event going on in her life be it personal or career related.
Right now she is saying she don't want anyone in her life until she achieve what she wants but if she feels about someone she might go for him. What can I do in this situation? Shall I be continue like this and get in friends zone? She might end up adding me to her besets friends list but may never accept me as her Bf. As long as you don't get emotional or act needy and continue to maintain this friendship with her, there are many opportunities for you to turn things around as you continue to build the connection between both parties, while subtly adding bits of flirting to the mix.
Hey, me and my ex broke up about a week ago. She claims that she wants to get back together in the future and still loves me. Well since she is still responding to you, it means your chances are still there and this other guy is simply competition that you ultimately have to overcome. Prove that you're the better choice and avoid getting insecure or jealous because technically the relationship with you has officially ended and she's free to meet whoever she wants. My girlfriend and I have been having arguments lately and she called things off ,immediately after that was very emotional and begged her to take me back but she wouldn't listen ,she told me she has a new guy and told me to move on ,we have been in a long distance relationship for about two years and always felt connected ,I want her back so could do with some tips.
The new guy could simply be a rebound but if the relationship had started almost immediately after the breakup, there's a chance that she was cheating on you already prior to the relationship officially ending. Keep in mind that if the lack of physical contact was one of the major reasons leading to the breakup, unless you're able to do something to close in on the distance, it's going to be hard to convince her or build attraction. Hey,please advise me,we have stayed with my girlfred for 4 yrs and we have a daughter who happens to love me most,my lady is trustworthy but we had financial problems n due to joblessness I used to beat her up whenever we had issues.
I suggest giving her time to cool off and you should consider working on your anger management issues because this is probably what made her leave in the first place. You're going to have to make it up to her and convince her that you've changed ensure you actually do so. Hey Kevin, So about a month ago my gf broke up with me for a few different reasons, including me being a little overprotective and scared of other sexual partners being involved.
After grief I made the mistake of keeping up contact and that made me feel worse due to the memories that brought. After being a little too desperate, she decided to block me for a short while I grief. She says she still loves me and cherishes what we had, but she wants to be single and sleep around etc. She also stated that she had "lost feelings" for me, and didn't feel the same as she used to.
I'm just wondering if there is any advice you could offer, she said that I shouldn't hold out hope for her, but she also said that maybe one day something might happen but definitely no promise as she could come out of her time single as a different person. I'm also wondering if I should let her know I'm going to start no contact to work on myself, or if I should just start. We also share the same friendship group. I would suggest simply going into it and only consider bringing it up if she messages you first or asks why you haven't spoken to her.
Avoid meeting with the friend group for the time being, especially when she is around since it could set back your progress. Hey Kevin, Me and my ex were dating for 6 months. The first 5 months were good. We had some bumps on the way but we managed to stick it through. The 6th month however was the worst. We kept fighting about her boy best friend because I had a feeling that he likes her.
So each day we kept fighting about it when it came to the point where she said she lost all her love for me and wants to break up but be best friends. So I accepted it but I was broken. But she refused and said that she wants to focus on herself and her schoolwork. She tells me how she needs time alone about a week.
But then 2 weeks after the relationship she moved on with her boy best friend I said liked her. But I still want to be with her. How do I make her come back to me and leave that guy? Is this a rebound relationship? What can I make her do to make her see that I can make changes for her? Remember that while this guy may have had intentions all along to be with her, her relationship with you was what prevented him any chance of doing so and in turn remained best friends with her through the period.
Although the fighting was caused because you felt insecure about him, nothing was going to happen as long as she had feelings for you still. She was right in saying that it was the arguments and stress from it that led to the breakup, which gave him the chance to finally move in after she broke up with you.
Honestly, instead of outrightly trying to win her back, which paints you as a needy and desperate person, take some time to recover now and I suggest making the same move as he did in sticking by her as friends and not overstepping boundaries. Let the relationship self-destruct on its own and help her through it, instead of trying to break them up directly.
Hey guys or gals, My name is Chance and I was just wondering if anyone actually comments back on this at all still? If so here goes. My ex and I dated for 3 years, we met and kinda skipped the proper courting stages and had sex right away really. She got pregnant within months and have a gorgeous 2 year old baby girl together.
We moved in together and she had a son already that 4 at the time. We tried to work through our personal differences while figuring out how to love each other and we failed more than we succeeded. I had major trust issues from my past long before I met her and let that be he main reason I was unwilling to fully commit and try my hardest.
Given the duration of relationship and link you share with your ex because of the kid, it's likely that this current guy is a rebound who provides her with novel feelings that she probably didn't feel with you, especially towards the end of the relationship. I would suggest giving her some space before reaching out to connect with her again. You can start off initially with wanting to spend time with your kid, which gives you an opportunity to remain in contact with her, and eventually subtely show her through your interactions with her that you've changed since breaking up.
My girlfriend Broke up with me after 5 days at uni. I wasn't their for her the first couple of days and one guy was and she is now with him. I miss her so much but she thinks the new girl will treat her so much better. Is their anything I can do? If she could decide so quickly to drop her current relationship simply to chase down something new, then you may not want to push for her to come back, at least not for the time being because until her emotional maturity grows, there's a good chance of her repeating the same actions whenever someone comes along.
Ok to start it off. I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years. She cheated on her long term partner with me after we became really close friends. She later on broke up with him but we decided to take it slow and dated two months before getting together. We were really happy but by the time we got to our second year we started to drift apart. I started to lose attraction for her and it upset her. We got into arguments about not caring enough for one another. She then decided to dump me.
Two weeks later she is going out with my best friend who I have been friends with for 20 years. This hurt me a lot, it also hurt me because it is a fairly long distance relationship which is something she said she would never do. So I took 1 month off with no contact, worked on my self. Two days after no contact she messaged me out of the blue saying that she is so sorry for how things happened and that see felt bad of how she handled it. She said she is much happier now and that her BF my ex best friend makes her happy.
However we text quite frequently and she replies to me quite quickly. I am not sure if her boyfriend knows or not. I really care about her and want her back but also part of me wants revenage and another part feels like I could never trust her. How should I proceed? Would I be able to get her back permenantly? If you genuinely want to win her back, you're going to have to work on first getting over the resentment and lingering feelings of distrust, or both aspects would come back to eventually haunt the relationship even if you do succeed in getting her back.
If she is willing to give it another shot, I would suggest doing your best to make changes and to address the issues that caused the relationship to fall apart. Understand your reasons for feeling insecure and the need to control or manipulate, and perhaps consider being more mindful to avoid doing it to her or she would probably leave for good because by then, she would have determined that you haven't changed and given up altogether. Im 21yrs old and my ex gf is 20yrs where on same sex relationship girl-girl we've been on our relationship about 4yrs and 1month.
We broke up because her thinking is what if one day she wants to form a family or marry a guy. I asked her if shes happy or if shes still loves me she said shes happy and she loves me so much and we dont have any problem on our relationship. She didnt have a boyfriend since then im her first long term relationship. Were broke up about 2months but after our break up she starts entertaining the guy whose chatting her. I think by now there in a relationship the guy and my ex.
She blocked me on IG and twitter but she didnt block me on facebook, she keeps on posting on Facebook mentioning the guy like shes trying let everyone's know that shes in a relationship with the guy and shes very lucky to have her hence shes not that type of person because shes a private type in terms of relationship. I dont know if shes still into me or shes on a rebound relationship.
What will i do to get her back? These situations can be a bit tricky because sometimes a girl can go through phases where they seek different things. If you don't find your comment here, it's highly likely that your comment did not meet initial posting guidelines. If you have a lengthy situation and require more input regarding the matter, you could post your story on our forum boards where many of our community members would be more than willing to share personal advice. Since last week, we broke up due to me hearing her complaining about our relationship and it really breaks my heart.
She said that i changed my attitude and all her housemates however just ask her to break up when she's fighting. I open the door and initiate the break up myself. When she begged me to stay i choose to walk away. It is my greatest mistake ever. This week has been a terrible. I couldnt eat or sleep well as i missed her so much. I did some silly things like meeting her up to begged her to stay and texting her like i miss you. She told me when i turn my head away, she feels so much better. And i couldnt imagine to lose her.
Give her some space, and work on those aspects she felt were issues in the relationship and question yourself if these were indeed things that you may have begun taking for granted later into the relationship which caused her the unhappiness. Hi im 18 so is my ex gf we were together for 2 years. She broke up with me for a number of reasons; commitment fears, wanting to be independent, because she couldnt be in a co-dependent relationship, because she didnt find me attractive anymore and stopped loving me.
She said i was the right person and the wrong time and i believed her. I asked her why and she said it is all just for fun and has no feelings, but it makes me feel sick. We've only been broken up a month and she's already sleeping with and dating random guys she doesnt even know. I want her back as a girlfriend but i have no idea how to do it, and how to make her realise she made the wrong decision.
How do i convince her everything she's done since she dumped me is wrong and a mistake, and get her to want me for me, and want to be with me. We're friends at the moment and she says she loves me as a friend but doesn't want me back. Unfortunately, only she can make that decision on her own to realize her mistakes of letting you go. One thing you can do to help with that is by focusing on yourself and improving aspects to make you look like a better catch.
Show her these changes and get her to realize from there. It is the first time we got a break up. Its been a week since then, i made some mistakes like begging her to stay and even got drunk to cause some trouble to her like calling her up and telling her i miss her. Also some short messages like i missed you, care for her like whether has her eaten. Im suspecting her to be sleeping with someone else but i couldnt do anything.
Is there still chances for me to get back with her after no contact rule starting by now? We were together for 2. The reason of breaking up is because of me initiating after hearing she complains to her housemates about me changing my attitude to her. I dont cherish her enough and i look even more desperate now. How do i "Get her to realise from there" though?
Are you saying i should change myself to make myself more attractive and stuff like that? Well, that is the objective of our 5 step plan. We advocate for positive changes to create a better version of yourself because the current version causes the relationship to end. How can i get her if I will not beg to come back Begging makes you look desperate and weak, and she will lose respect for you in the process. All the more if she has moved on, begging will only affirm her decision to walk away from you. Pick yourself up emotionally first, address the issues that you contributed towards the breakup, before reaching out and building attraction as if you were chasing her for the first time.
Hi, So my ex and I were together for about 13 months. In that 13 months we broke up several times due to fighting, but we always got back together after a week or less. Last November we broke up after a really tense situation and it lasted for 7 months. We tried dating and getting to know other people in that time, but we ended up back together last June. Unfortunately we broke up again in August and now I just found out that she's now back to dating the guy she was seeing before we got back together in June.
Apparently they've been dating again for a few weeks now. I've already made some big mistakes like making her really angry at me after this break up and send long messages saying sorry and that I wanted her back. She's already blocked me from social media. I know I should initiate No Contact and I should try to improve myself and try to fix the toxic parts of our relationship, which I have been doing, but how long do I do NC for? And do you think I still have a chance at getting her back?
You might have to consider if getting back is truly the best choice. In the time you've been dating her, the relationship has repeatedly ended which clearly indicates a problem between both parties which may require change from both ends and not just you. However, if you still intend to get back with her, 30 days of no contact seems right given the time frame of the you guys getting together from June till August. If after no contact, she is still dating the guy or doesn't indicate interest to be with you at that time, you might have to consider walking away even longer for now.
Hi Kevin, I like your article and i think your advice is super helpful given my situation. My story is super long and i'd be happy to post it up here but I think what would be really helpful is if I can potentially get on a call with you to discuss my situation. We provide personal email coaching with Kevin in which you'd be able to share your story with him and get one-to-one advice. More information can be found in this link. My ex and I had been dating from March 18 to around June 18 when everything fell apart. I was in the wrong because she found some texts on my phone when texting another girl and those messages were a bit naughty.
She ignores me and comes back oftenly. I want my girl back. Perhaps for the time being, it might be better to go into no contact to give her some space to let go of the bitter emotions she may be feeling. Apologize for your previous actions, and tell her that it might be better to spend some time apart. When you reach out again, try to make things up to her and show her that you have changed since then. Hi there Ryan, I just wanted to start off by saying I love your articles and they've helped me tremendously. With that being said, me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up about 3 weeks ago, we are both 21 and we've only ever been with each other.
She said that she wanted to break up to experience other people and try different things. I later found out that she had been talking to someone else. I do put the blame for this on myself because I wasnt the best boyfriend. I never showed any affection, didnt take her out, started to gain weight, didn't have a job, and none of the little things. Yet she still showered me with affection and always tried to put me on the right track, and I couldn't even let her know how much I appreciated that.
Shes always been head over heels for me, and after the breakup it seemed like that girl I knew was gone. She was going out every night having fun with her new guy, getting to experience the things she never got with me for a while. I realized what I had lost and knew that I needed to get her back. So I stopped sitting around and got a job, switched my life habits, started going to the gym, and ended up losing over 15 pounds now. I tried telling her I'm changing for her and all I was accomplishing so far and all she said was that shes proud but it's too late and that I need to stop taking to her.
So I did just that. Then just a couple days ago she came to drop off my clothes, I had no intention of talking to her, I was just going to take the clothes and leave it at that. But then she said she wanted to talk with me and I went along with it. We starting just talking about everything that had been going on in our lives for the past few weeks.
We were having a great time and laughing ot up just taking about everything, but then she told me the past couple days she was having panic attacks something she has a history of and that she didnt know why. Then once again I try to tell her I can change for her and I just need one more chance yet she still is so insistent that it's not gonna happen. I messed up once again and resorted to the begging and bargaining and then she eventually left and went home. I texted her when she left to tell her I was being stupid, I didnt mean to scare her away, and that if she needed anything she could come to me.
She said she understood and told me thank you, but also told me once again that we need to stop taking. I later found out that she could have gone to see her new guy that night if she wanted to, instead she chose to spend it with me. Since that night I decided to start no contact again and continue on improving myself. What I'm asking for here is your thoughts on my situation and should I be there for her if she needs it, or should I tell her no. Thanks for the reply in advance.
The first contact seemed to have gone well until the begging and bargaining started, to which you might have caused her to withdraw again. Give things some space, and when you reach out the next time, try to keep your emotions in check and take things a step at a time. For now if she reaches out, you could consider being there for her but remember not to overstep any boundaries and make her uncomfortable.
Me and my ex were perfect with each other and rarely argued, not even fighting. When we argued we would talk it out with each other and come to terms with each other. Last week tho she started talking less to me because university had just started and she started going out with friends a lot more. When I talked to her about this, instead of our usual open to heart discussion she acted more defensive. Then at the end of the week she gave me her answer and asked to break up with me.
Not a big deal, right? I agreed to her request when I heard the real reason and we broke up on good terms. And just thinking about her being forced to be with someone from her own culture and sleeping with them makes me sick to my stomach. Or should I first convince her dad to change his mind and then try to get my ex back by following this guid?
It would really depend on how strict her dad would be regarding the culture issue, and whether you think your ex would someday be willing to disregard it and decide that the relationship is more important. The latter would help in you trying to convince her dad to support her decision, otherwise, you'd be stuck with fighting two battles 1 to win her back and 2 to win her dad over.
If she firmly chooses to respect her dad's decision, you might find yourself having a hard time to do either of the tasks and it may honestly be better to walk away. Hi Ryan, Great material — Hoping you can give me some insight, grab a bag of popcorn. Everything was great Ski lessons, cooking classes and the like , we talked about marriage, moving in and all that good stuff. We were very good together, laughed often and always in contact.
Fast forward until 1. She bit and agreed. Come Friday, I followed up with no response until Saturday morning. Heart dropped but I said that was fine and meet anyways. She was engaged, making jokes, laughing, reminiscing on old times, talking life with no mention of the current person see is dating. Last 15 minutes, I get into why I came. I told her that I expected my feelings to fade but they have not, we were good together and that while I respect her new situation, if she was ever single again, we would be great together.
She said we had good times, thought of me often and that the current thing was not serious and that she would expect to be single again at some point. I ended coffee and left after hug. On Wednesday I texted saying it was great catching up and seeing her, she said the same back. I am now debating on going all in with a text this weekend stating while I respect her current situation, I think we both are great together and have feelings for each other and I want to give us another chance.
I think the new thing is sub 4 weeks old, she agreed to meet with me in light of it, she stated its not serious and maybe single again in the future, stayed for a great 2 hours, was very excited to see me, responded to text a few days later, still is the first to stalk my snaps. Family issues still there, she is currently dating someone, she is stubborn, I waited over 3 months missing summer and her Bday. That puts us out months broken up on a 6 month relationship. Thoughts on my game plan? Instead of immediately going all in which could backfire drastically should anything not go according to plan , it would be better to perhaps remain on friendly terms first, and fact find a little more about her current situation with her date, as well as to rebuild familiarity and comfort towards you.
Hi my name is Daniel but we've been together for two-and-a-half years I can't say I've been perfect but I've shown love respect and on their kids she's still living with me but she's going to sleeping with this guy and staying over there she said that it's over this is fresh and I just read this I did every single thing that you put on there not to do is it too late to start fresh and not do the communication thing which I haven't all day today. About 11 months ago I signed for my daughter to move out of state with her mother and I never told her and I kept it in now I did tell her and she's like why didn't you tell me before I broke down and cried to her and apologized and she still said it's too late she has feelings for this guy she is a nurse and she used to be his nurse and that's what came in contact.
Spend the time picking yourself up from the breakup first and go into no contact. If she has developed feelings for someone new, the only chance to win her back is if things don't work out between them, or if you come across as the better alternative and to do so would require some changes in your life to become a better version of yourself than before. I met my ex-gf the middle of and things were going pretty good and we were both happy. At we spent months being together at same time preparing for college. She was the first to leave for school. During our time together she as always hinted that she was afraid of falling for someone else.
At some point, she began making suggestions about finding someone to take care of her while she was in school this was rampant that, it stirred number of insecurities within me. During the time we were together she made out with a guy a family friend she felt sorry and told me about it. But the insecurities didnt go away. It drove me into thinking that I was never good enough for her. At the same time I battled great deal of social anxiety which I have worked on. After she left for college I stopped contacting her for the fear that I wasnt good enough.
During the following year i still didn't get in contact with her at the same time I didnt move on. I was sort of stuck, still working on my anxiety. Till i initiated contact and tried explaining myself that I was dealing with things really personal and that I never left her for someone else. My mistake was that I didnt deal with my issues completely, somehow he grew distant. But I'm okay wit whatever happens. I understand why the breakup happened and have realized that it was a huge fault of mine.
I'm in a good place right now and to be honest, I'm texting u just because I miss speaking to you. I don't have a goal or an ulterior motive for texting you. I just want to see what happens" template from your site of course. So there is no coming back for you. We were never meant to be so Just move on.
Sorry Forgot to add when we met she 16 and I At this point she could still be going through a phase due to her age, and you might want to consider walking away for the time being to focus on yourself and grow as a person. Frequencies and phases of life would change rapidly for people around that age, and you should try to reach out and connect with her once again as friends first later on after some changes have been made to your life and you become the person she can visualize being with.
She broke up with me because I was still hurt from a past relationship and I was slower moving than she was. We cared deeply for each other, but she has some PTSD that wouldn't let her move on even though I wanted to. She also said multiple times she couldn't imagine not having me in her life and for me not to disappear. She said we need to take it day by day and time will tell for us. Its been about weeks since the breakup. I did everything to a T. I had no contact, during that time she contacted me. We texted a lot of remembrance texts and finally went out on a great hike the other day.
She said she wanted to go on more hikes if I wanted to and texted me later that is was good seeing me. We had some more text conversations that were good. She's been hanging out with this guy since day 1 of the breakup. They kinda knew each other before. I was very skeptical of them forming something together, but kinda had my mind eased as she said they were joining their freelance businesses and working of a lot of big projects.
Well I just found out two days after the hike that they are seeing each other. Do I have a chance here? Seems like a rebound but high risk if there is a lot of work and money at stake. What do I do now? Ask her if they are a thing then just let it roll off my back like I don't care because I'm in a good place and tell her there is still hurt and its best to not be in contact for a while? People can be irrational when it comes to emotions, disregarding professionalism. You could let her know that it hurts and go into NC for the time being while they're dating. Hi Ryan, I've lived in London with my girlfriend who was from Argentina for the past three years.
We had an incredible connection and lived what we both agreed and still do was the best 3 years of our lives, our friends, family all loved what were together. She began to miss her family and country and got the point where she wanted to move back to Argentina to "see how she felt" and whether she wanted to stay in the UK and get married etc, of which I totally understood.
So we broke up and she moved away. During the first two months apart, there was a lot of communication between us and I have to admit I became very needy and desperate for her to come back very unlike myself.. It got to the point though where I was just causing sadness in her life as I was upset about her leaving, and she told me she was going to move on..
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I think I must have made every mistake in the book! A week after this, I found out she had already met someone else and is moving on. Again, I made a massive mistake by losing my shit when I found out about her being with someone - mainly because she had continued to string me along with hope until the day I heard about the new person, and it really really hurt. She said that when she met this new guy, It made her realise she didn't want to fight for me as she was attracted to him.
A lot of the pain lies in the fact that if we weren't born so far apart, we both admit that we would have been together for life. We were so perfect before this ordeal and I feel my neediness made her fall out of love with me and into the arms of another man. I had never been needy, desperate or jealous once within the relationship. It's been about three weeks now of sparse contact and the last email I sent yesterday was an email to her apologising for my neediness and that I respect her decisions which I actually do and I wish her the best.
She sent me an email apologising for her actions and saying I would always be in her heart and that the best memories of her life were with me. What course of action do you think I should take I keep wondering if I hadn't been trying to convince her to come back, the outcome may have been totally different. You might want to consider several options depending on where you stand and given the circumstances:.
Most of this year we were together but I kept her at an arms length and was not committed to the relationship and was honest about it. A few weeks ago we had a blow out where she basically told me she just wanted me to tell her I could guarantee we'd be together at some point. I told her no relationship is a guarantee but I wanted to work on things. She told me she was going out with friends that night but she would call me when she got off work. She didn't call so I texted her and asked what's up. She texted me back something along the lines of "it's not the right time, i'm sorry, i'll always love you.
She text back and said she loves me and hates me so much. I asked her to come home and she said no she was staying out late. Like a stalker, I drove by her house shortly after and she was coming home. I asked what was going on and she told me she went out with another guy someone she mentioned before but that she came home because she was confused and wanted to figure things out.
Long story short, we were kinda sorta together over the past week but I was needy, clingy, etc. This Friday she said she was going out again and after not hearing from her all night, I drove by her house at 5am stalking again I know and her car wasn't there. Rather than waiting for another lie I texted her that I was hurt and couldn't believe it was so easy for her to leave me for someone she barely knew and that my time with her was the best of my life and goodbye.
I realize I just pushed her right into this other guys arms but my question is, do I try and reach out and tell her it will hurt me if she sleeps with this other guys and I'm working on things, or do I just institute no contact? If I can stop things before she moves forward I want to, but I can see how she just has the desperate image of me stuck in her mind right now.
In the meantime, I've been following the advice of the guides and started working on myself and haven't done any more crazy texting, calling, etc. It would be better to initiate NC, as the former idea would probably push her further away because of the impression she may hold over you at this point. Brilliant article this, pretty much how my ex is behaving, she is moving in with her rebound after two months, I have grew immensely over the two months, would say I'm better than ever on many cases.
Only issue I have is she won't contact me back, although I feel like her new guy is stopping that in every way, do you have any advice to get over that part as waiting around is the hardest thing. She did move over from Canada to the UK to be with me, she is also still wearing my previous engagement ring although she has blocked me on everything minus WhatsApp and texting.
Any advice I'd be most grateful. Waiting becomes hard if all you're focused on is actually waiting around, and each day becomes a torture and passes by really slowly. I would suggest putting yourself back out there, for the time being, developing new lifestyle habits and essentially just focusing on yourself.