Though she takes medication to manage her condition, she still lives with residual symptoms: Not every relationship hides a secret like this one, but plenty of people face similar decisions about how much they should tell a new companion. If you're considering telling your partner about a health secret, here are eight tips to help you spill the beans.
Practice what to say Before you drop a bomb on a potential mate, rehearse your speech with a trusted friend or visit a therapist to talk it through, suggests Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin—Madison. Laurie Davis, an online dating expert based in New York and Boston, suggests asking a friend what sounds most intimidating about your condition and getting his or her advice on how to smooth it over.
Getting a second opinion can help you decide how much to say and when and where to say it , and running through your script a few times can make you more comfortable sharing your story.
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Mark Snyder, a year-old writer from New York City, used to dread telling a new boyfriend that he was a recovering alcoholic. That changed, however, as he got used to talking about his condition.
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I celebrate it now. I wouldnt see a reason to keep it a secret, especially if were getting serious. If youre worried that your health secret might be a deal-breaker, youll want to 'fess up by the fourth date, says Rachel A. Dishonesty can ruin a potentially good relationship.
Its not all roses and Champagne. Be casual yet confident So exactly how does one reveal a secret without just blurting it out? Just dont overdo it: In other words, make your delivery as drama free as possible. Um, youre not my doctor, dude.
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Allisons dates probably have their heart in the right place. He suggests that she have a confident, straightforward response about how she would like them to react; something like: Don't have this conversation in bed. Thats true for any condition, Davis adds.
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Robbins notes that if your health secret is a sexually transmitted disease STD , youre going to have to open up to someone sooner rather than later. In online dating, it's a lot easier: However if the honest person in you wants to explain or write back then try something along these lines:. Find other like-minded singles at Telegraph Dating. Create your free profile on the Telegraph's online dating site.
Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Thursday 17 January Then try the following tips to help ease the rejection nightmare. Let them down gently: Try being as polite as possible For the best way to let someone down gently, face to face, you could try the following: However if the honest person in you wants to explain or write back then try something along these lines: Relationship Advice and Romance.