The cops watch me shamefully dress myself and then escort me to my car, ask me a bunch of questions and tell me to fuck off. I fucked off so hard. I get home and lay face up in my bed, wishing I was dead. I get a call from my girlfriend and it's her mother. She gives me an earful for about 20 mins threatening me with pressing charges. This woman is among the worst human beings and has been known to hit her daughter and abuse her in other ways.
I can hear my girlfriend crying in the background. Her mom tells me she'll think about what she's going to do about me and basically lets me know that she's in control of my life now. I lay in bed, mind racing. I think about running away, killing myself, etc. I imagined police cruisers pulling into my driveway to take me away.
The decision was made that if that was to happen I'd comply until I could wrangle a gun from one of their belts and take out as many officers as I could before being killed myself. I'm not someone who is prone to be aggressive, but in its most desperate state, my mind went to desperate ends. I wasn't going to go to prison for falling in love with someone, much less live out my days as a sex offender. Two days passed and my father had a lot of long conversations on the phone with her mother, it sounded like someone negotiating a hostage situation. It was like she got her jollies off on torturing people.
He had to play into her madness to save my life. Also my girl threatened to take her own life if anything should happen to me. Finally, it was decided that she would not press charges as long as i made no attempt to contact her daughter. That was the worst day of my life, I'd have done just about anything to make the impending doom of prison go away. It was like watching my life flash before my eyes. Since that day I was changed forever.
I don't trust anybody, even those I love. I decided that if I always consider that others could be lying to me, I am never disappointed when I find out that they are. I constantly scrutinize the motives of others and have become incredibly socially aware. Also I hate authority, I see a cop car and I get a sick-paranoid-angry feeling every time. I know I kinda rambled on here, but now when I go home with a girl and she gets drunk and pukes on my pillow, I can't be upset. I'll deal with vomit, and period blood all over my bed any day.
I'll clean it up with a smile, then I'll cuddle with her as she wonders why I'm not phased by any of that. Side note - Some weeks later, i learned that the mother was sent to the hospital. My now ex-girlfriend had sent me an email saying that her mom started verbally attacking her and was running her mouth about me. She had become fed up. She stood up for both of us and beat the shit out of her mother. She was then sent to some kind of juvenile corrections program where she lived in the wilderness for 8 months.
Now all that is in the past. To this day we remain friends. TL;DR - Sex with first girlfriend ruined by plot of her mother's to catch me in the act of statutory rape by sending police to her home to bust me. No charges were pressed, but I live to this day fucked up and distrusting of everyone and carry a strong hatred for authority. She offers to go back to her place, off we go. Next morning, she makes me breakfast and acts strangely sympathetic. I have no idea what the fuck happened. A week later, her sorority starts calling me "baby my name here ".
I laughed it off thinking it was because I am a tad baby-faced, but one day I was curious and asked a girl who I was friends with not original girl, that ship sailed and sunk , and apparently I had started crying shortly after getting her top off, then we talked for a bit and fell asleep. I think that accounts for the embarrassment and shame you were looking for I took this girl home who had actually told me a couple weeks before to stop hitting on her.
We were both really drunk but it was still awesome, really nice time with her, especially because I had been crushing on her for a while and she had been denying me. Anyways I took her home and things were getting heavy and she asked if I had a condom Of course I did! I reach to my normal storage space, grab one, and then notice that my little friend wasn't cooperating. Ah, good ole whiskey dick. I figured I had to at least try, what other opportunity would I have? So I work it up to half a chub, put the condom on and tried.
It didn't NOT work, but definitely wasn't enjoyable for either party. So I told her that I didn't think it would work so I went down on her for a while, we cuddled and went to sleep. In the morning, things were getting pretty heated again, and she asked if I wanted to try again I couldn't believe that I had another chance at that. So I went to grab another condom, and my heart stopped.
I had none left I looked at her with the solemnest of faces, and she told me, "well I know you're disappointed but I'm not getting laid either! As she was leaving I told her I wanted to see her again, she didn't think it would be a good idea, and still doesn't. The kicker is my hungover brain didn't remember I had a condom in my backpack and also one in my pants pocket. Over 20 years ago. I was 21 or Big party at a co-workers house. One microdot of acid, smoked some weed, ate a bunch of fruit that had been soaked in Everclear alcohol.
I'm cool with curvy. I'm talkin' spherical big. Big and tall and just I nailed her in the back seat of her Cadillac, apparently I was back there going at it for hours. Her Cadillac was parked right in front of the house, right by the sidewalk, so every single person that left the party bore witness to my pasty white ass, positively glowing in the moonlight, just jackhammering away.
Starting getting off with a girl in a club, everything starts to get a bit too heavy for the middle of a bar, so we start to leave to go back to her place for some sweet boning. As we're walking into the street I hear 'So Don't worry, we'll be together forever. I got hooked into a 6 year relationship with that same move. Except she waited for the moment before I was about to put it in. What was I to say, no? I've never went to bed with an unattractive girl, but I've woke up with some. That about sums it up.
Her image left its mark on me - A shaded beauty in the gloom; She smiled a smile for me to see, And so I walked across the room. The alcohol was sweet; we laughed, And bought a final for the road. I praised my awesome flirting craft, And spent the night at her abode. And then - all over in a blur, And dawn was crawling 'cross the bed. I stretched and turned my head to her And wished to God that I was dead. You're one of those weirdos that keeps their shoes on when they get it on so what did you expect to happen in a Japanese household?
Since everyone is sharing their horrid stories, i'll share mine I started talking to this girl there who I've known for a couple years. No, she was not hot, but in fact, fairly chilly. We start talking and all and I can tell signs point to us doing some things. One thing leads to another and we end up in a coat closet and she starts unbuckling my pants and is blowing me.
I dont know what it is about tear drops falling ever so gently onto your penis, but it was the quickest deflation of a hard on i've ever expirienced. I hope her parents are ok. I left her in the closet It looked like she needed to be alone. I made out with a girl in a Teletubby costume. Biggest college regret to this day. She was dressed as Poe. Me and my best buddy, let's call him John, go to visit our old friend, let's call her Vicky, at her university. Vicky brings her friend Liz actually her real name! John persuades the girls to flash us, and he makes a move on Vicky's tits while they're out, and she enjoys it.
Me and Liz end up awkwardly alone - I consider her too hot for me so I don't do anything - then we leave the club and to my surprise she moves on me, and we end up making out a bit and buying some gross food. Reconvene at Vicky's house where Vicky and John are already in bed. Me and Liz make out on the living room floor but she won't put out completely, and eventually I fall asleep. For about five minutes, when we are awoken to yelling, then the most almighty bloodcurdling scream from Vicky's room, then heart-wrenching crying.
I jump up in fight-or-flight mode, ready to hit somebody, even John, but then Vicky emerges naked from the room, howling crying, and holding her sheets. I look into the room and John's there, naked, red in the face and looking shocked, saying "fuck off! Everything's fine, don't worry about it". I follow Vicky to where she's locked herself in the bathroom.
It was three years before I got the story out of John. I had to buy him a big load of beers before he told me, too, and he swore me to secrecy - well I did change their names. It seems that what had happened was that he was going down on Vicky when she took a huge drunken shit in his face. He screamed in shock and disgust, she howled in mortification then scooped the turds up in the sheets and hid in the bathroom while he wiped the shit off his chin going "oh my fucking god I have hit rock bottom". And only three of us know what happened that night. One time in my first year of college I hooked up with this guy named Dylan in our dorms.
I was really drunk a couple nights later and wanted to find him, so I began wandering around. I arrived what I thought was his room and the door was open a crack, so I open it to see two guys I've never seen before on their computers playing games. I sit on the closest bed, and start talking about Dylan and they said they didn't know him. I eventually invite the guy whose bed I was on over. We start fooling around and his roommate, who had still been playing video games, decides to leave.
I want sex, but he says he's a virgin. I asked what he's done, he says he'd never even kissed a girl. Later I found out I was on the fourth floor, and not the fifth where Dylan's room was. My friend Jane was throwing a party in her house one last time before she moved out, so there was no furniture or anything, just tarps covering the floor for beer-pong and flip-cup.
We had all been pre-gaming before everyone started showing up, so we were fairly drunk already before the party actually started. A whole bunch of people started showing up that I have never seen in my life and most of them weren't that attractive if I was sober that is , but that didn't stop me from prowling. There was this one chick, which seemed extremely easy and kept flashing her boobs, so I thought wtf I'll give it a go. Things are going well, so I go get us a couple drinks, but I feel like I need to puke. I remembered I hadn't ate anything, so that was my fault.
I go to the opposite side of the house of my prey and puke my guts out, then chug a beer to get rid of the taste and smell. I go back with our drinks and continue my attempts at getting laid. The next bit is kind of a blur, but I vividly remember making out with this chick in the middle of the living room with upwards of 30 people watching us, which considering the attractiveness of the chick is embarrassing alone.
Her friend, a big fat tattooed guy, says they have to leave, but I can go with them, so obviously I go against my friends' advice not to. Apparently, the fat guy is drunk as shit and I don't find out until we are on the road driving along one of the most dangerous roads in the area with a huge cliff on the other side of the road, but I continue making out with the ugly chick. It turns out that she is in the Navy, so she shall hence be known as the "Navy chick". We get to her house and she tells me to be quiet because her parents are asleep and I'm like "WTF! Turns out she is on leave visiting family.
Suddenly, Navy chick's mom comes in and starts arguing with Navy chick about bringing strange guys home. The mom offers me a ride home, but I refuse because obviously I'm trying to get laid here. Then her dad comes down and there is basically a family feud going on. Navy chick drags me outside and says we are going to a motel and I'm like, "Fuck yea! Only problem is her parents snuck her keys out of her purse when she wasn't looking, so Navy chick goes back in the house to get them, while I sit outside with fat guy just chatting.
Turns out fat guy has a huge crush on Navy chick and he's totally cool with me hooking up with her, which made me really awkward, but didn't slow my roll.
Navy chick comes out and says her parents are retarded and we are walking to the motel. So, there we are walking down the main highway in this fairly small town at 2 or 3AM, headed towards the Best Western, when out of fucking no where a black SUV pulls up next to us and the driver tells us to get in. I was like, "Fuck no! He said he would take us where we wanted to go, but he lied and pulled a U-turn and started taking us to his house, but Navy chick wasn't having it, so she jumped out of the SUV, while it was moving.
It was only going like 15mph, I think, then I followed suit.
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Dad tried to get us back in, but we weren't falling for it. We made it to the Best Western only to find out it was full, because of a dog show going on the next week, so we went to the Holiday Inn across the street.
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The whole time navy chick and I were making out in front of the employee as he got us our room. We get to our room and have the most disgusting sex my poor penis has ever had to endure. I told my friends that I couldn't remember having sex, but that was to hide my shame. I also ran into a coat hanger when I went to take an after-sex piss, which nearly poked my eye out and left a nasty bruise.
Next day we wake up and I'm at a loss for words at the sight of this chick, but I'm thinking that I just need to be polite until I get back to Jane's house. She calls her cousin to pick us up and I shit you not this dude is like lbs and has a huge scar across his shaved head.
This guy was missing some marbles upstairs, so this whole ride was filled with his slurred, unintelligible talking. Cousin drops us off at her house, she runs inside to get her car-keys, as well as arguing with her parents some more, and we leave. The whole drive was silent except for when she asked me if I was hungry and I replied, "Yes. We ate at Carl's Jr. When we pull up to Jane's house i see my three best buds all squished together on one of those decorative lawn benches, smiling ear to ear.
Jane, James, and Jim were all making bets on how I was going to break the story to them. Navy chick drops me off and I don't even look back, but my friends get a good look at her and as soon as she drives away they burst out laughing. I walk up, pull out a cigarette and say, "So, here's what happened. For the record this happened quite a few years ago, I was highly irresponsible, and realize my juvenile ways. My friends throw this shit in my face when we talk quite often and get a good chuckle out of it.
Besides the fact that the air was dank with cigarette and beer we had walked quite distance to arrive at the motel. It was in the middle of summer and both of us had a serious case of swamp-ass. To say she had a stinky vaj is an understatement. She was kind of fat and had rolls that were sweaty, as well as a lack of woman scaping.
I just whiskey-dicked it without finishing and passed out. I didn't even get head and there was no way I was giving her any tongue action trashed or not. Not that I wanted head from someone that looked like they chewed on bricks. It was the worst I'd ever had and I really can't imagine any worse. Now this is the cringe I was hoping to get from the story. You should ninja-edit this into your original post. God, that sounds awful. Especially the part where you actually had to eat with her instead of running the fuck away. Was talking to this girl in college, finally got her alone and naked.
We started boning and I couldn't believe how wet she really was, it felt amazing. So good that I came within a minute. I was so embarrassed, then I looked down and realized she had her period and she was a heavy bleeder. It looked like a massacre in my bed. After a few drinks in a drunken supor we had sex in a friends bathroom. The next morning he woke up with about 15 hickies on him from 3 different girls and had to work that night - they were pretty visible. Me on the other hand - because we had sex on a carpet I ended up with serious carpet burn that later turned into a scar.
I was in so much pain I walked funny and had to meet my Dad and brother for lunch.. I live in a small rural area in the U. One night I got very drunk and coked up and was refused entry to a terrible local nightclub. I went home and changed my clothes and hairstyle and was refused entry a second time- nearly made it past the bouncers though. Anyhoo whilst shouting at the bouncers from across the road a girl pulled up and said she was going to a party. She had two friends in the car, and everything seemed dandy until she basically kidnapped me back to her house.
At this point I discover she is using crutches and wearing a back brace, she also has a disabled sticker in her car, is overweight and has bright red hair. After discussing her disability for a bit we go to bed did I mention the coke? She dropped me off and I kissed her goodbye. What is possibly the most disconcerting part is that it is the only time I have ever felt the muscular spasms of a girl definitely orgasming, even after seven years with the current gf. The second most disconcerting part is that I must have been imprecise with my aim because she offered me the baby lotion in her drawer to do her up the arse.
I ended up getting really drunk and totally forgot it was on anyways. No way to recover but after a long pause and shrug, the night continued onwards. Hooked up with a girl in my shower after a night out. I found her nuva ring the next morning in my drain. She didn't want it back. This past summer at one of notoriously sloppy work parties I outdid myself.
It was one of my good friend's brother's best friend first time drinking and he was all over the "roughest" female I work with. I blacked out, when I woke up in the morning I was given the play by play on what happened. I went to the room where they were spending alone time and busted in screaming "Colleen get away from Michael. So I start receiving fellatio while my friend is in the room. She convinces him to give her a back massage while I'm getting blown. I tell her I'm too drunk and won't cum so I try to leave but one of my friends then barges in and gives us condoms, completely changing my mindset.
The first thing I come up with is that "we have to eiffel tower. Came home drunk with this girl I had a crush on years before, we went on a date and it went nowhere. But that night we were at a party up the street from my house and I was one of the only people she knew. So we end up hooking up at the party and one thing leads to another, we end up at my place. Bare in mind I'm wasted but I'm still thoughtful enough not to have sex on my bed because its squeeky. Turns out so was this girl. My roommate is furious, woken up to drunken sex so she holds my door open and says she won't let it close until we leave the house.
No idea about the logic there. According to the girl I got up and said "if you're going to embarrass me, at least let me finish. My room mate still hasn't said a word about it, and the girl wouldn't stop laughing. That's when I decided I couldn't live with my mom anymore. I once tried to make a clean getaway in the morning and ended up getting hit in the head by his ceiling fan. Poor guy woke up to me screaming and gushing blood from the head. I still maintain it was his fault for putting his lofted bed right under a ceiling fan.
Birthday when I was 17, went into the laundry room drunk with my girlfriend to have some interesting sexy time. Railing my girlfriend over the washer, dad opens the door.
Spring Break Hook-Up Nightmare, Recalling an 8th Grade Hot Tub Party, and a Petty Larceny
Great my two most upvoted comment's ever are about my hilariously embarrassing hookup. She covers her face with her hands like an "If I can't see you, you can't see me number" I had an Oh this is entirely embarrassing drunk face. Like jaw dropped, god damn. My sister walked in on me right as my cum covered dick plopped out of her boyfriend's ass.
I think that pretty well covers embarrassing and shameful. I had to re read this comment about 5 or 6 times. Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped Plopped plopped plopped.
At a staff Christmas party a few of us ended up at one our co-workers place and she had a hot tub. Three of us decided to use it, myself, another woman and my boss. I ended up sexing it up with the boss in front of this other girl and took a cab back to his house. The next day was Christmas eve. I quickly found my clothes, wished him a merry Christmas and got a cab back to my car. I had to face my co workers after the holidays knowing they had all seen me naked One year for a new years party while I was in university I went to my friends girlfriends.
Since I did not know anyone I decided I would drink until I started being more social. My last memory was taking a beer out of the fridge thinking I hope I have enough beer. My next memory is me on top of this whale not using any protection on a matress in her basemeny and thinking how did this happen. The next morning I woke up before and realized my friend was my ride so I couldn't leave so I just went to the other room slept on the couch and pretended to be asleep when she got up. To top it all off several months later after the wounds had healed my friend told me that she had also had sex with a guy earlier in the night in the washroom in between making out with me.
I've posted and re-posted this story a couple times when it's relevant; this is one of those cases. In college I had a bit of a dry spurt, so I went to craigslist to try and get some quick, easy sex. I went to a big school with a lot of other schools in the area, so I figured I'd probably find someone in the same situation as me on the other side of the fence. I'm the type that would bang anything, so I responded to every ad on there. There were a bunch of bots that sent replies She was 19 and described as a BBW and boy was she right.
When she sent her body pic, it looked like she took up the entire bed. I mean she was huge, at least pounds and 6 feet tall. I'm a big guy myself, standing 6'2" and weighing about give or take 15 pounds depending on the season but this girl looked way bigger. That night when she responded I told her I only had a couple hours which she convinced me wasn't enough time, so we set up a fuck session for later that week at her dorm.
I made sure to set up the appointment for during the day as I didn't want her to figure out my name from the security desk where you have to give your ID to go up into the building past the lobby. I get to her room and she answers the door and jesus christ is she huge. Easily makes me look like a small guy, and she was taller too. It felt like I was Princess Leia with a dick about to stick it into Jabba's sand pussy.
Holy fuck what was I getting myself into? We sit on her bed and have some awkward small talk, she whips out a bowl and we smoke. Eventually she asks me if this was the first time I'd answered an ad like that it was and I ask her the same it wasn't and catching this as a queue I whip my dick out and she gets to work. This was honestly the best blow job I've ever received.
She did everything perfect, from working the head and the shaft, cupping the balls, doing crazy shit with her tongue. If everything that happened after didn't happen, I would've called her forever for blowjobs. She even said she loved giving them, and could do it for hours. Eventually though she wants to get fucked, and I was not ready for what came next. She gave me a condom and while I strapped it on she assumed the doggy position and this awful, foul stench seeped out of her pussy.
It was a combination of general lack of hygeine, a history of abuse, and maybe an STD. I got checked afterwards, if there was one there For a second I froze; all my instincts told me to get all my clothing on and run out of there. While I hesitated she popped up and said "oops, forgot something! From there she pulled out a giant, black and red tarp and laid it over the bed. At this point I had never been with a squirter, and even though this woman was foul in all other way, I manned up and got behind there.
As I entered, it didn't feel good and the smell got worse but I kept on trucking. Meanwhile she's honking and hollering and I am starting to gag. Literally gagging as I'm humping this behemoth. I grab my shirt and wrap it around my face and it barely helps, but that little bit is keeping my lunch in my stomach so I continue. She turns back as I'm fucking her doggy to see me now wearing this shirt as a face-mask bandana thing, and somehow this turns her on and she starts orgasm.
And I was not ready for what came next. Juice literally exploded from her vagina, and everything behind her was covered: I pulled out and surveyed the damage for a second and momentarily freaked out. Without hesitation I jumped back in and for the next hour, maybe two hours I humped the shit out of her in every position possible, catching the worse angles and grinding against the grosses of boils while she covered everything in that room with cum.
She hit the fucking ceiling at one point, it was like someone cut the major cum artery. It was absurd and, while one of the grossest experiences of my life, one of the greatest as well. She was one of the most disgusting people I've ever met and for sure the most disgusting I ever fucked, but making someone cum like they're Ol' Faithful for hours on end made me feel like a man in some fucked up way. Yeah, that was MY dick that was making you gush, ha ha ha! Someone give me a steak!
When we were done she sucked my dick until I came. I only came once. The smell was so grotesque that I had a hard enough time not puking let alone staying hard while we were fucking; by the end, though, I was so tired from all the work I put in I pretty much was half asleep in a puddle of her nasty-ass vagina juice while she sucked every last drop from my dick.
I put my clothes on, left, and grabbed a bus back to my apartment. When I sat down, a couple people actually got up and moved to another seat cause I smelled so bad, but I didn't care. A couple weeks later we met up and fucked again at her place, but it wasn't the same, I focused more on her flaws instead of the insane surprise of that fire hydrant between her legs. We went back to her room and she sucked my dick while the walls melted. After that I never saw or talked to her again. This is worth a listen then. It's the ReadsYourComment dude's rendition. Met a girl at an all day music festival.
Enjoyed the drunken day together but when she had to leave early I for some reason would not let her leave without a kiss.
Spring Break Hook-Up Nightmare, Recalling an 8th Grade Hot Tub Party, and a Petty Larceny
Begged and pleaded and made a fool of myself before she finally gave me a peck on the check and got the hell out of dodge. Woke up the next day completely embarrassed. Seemed to work out okay though, we've been married now for 16 years. I was at a great part everyone was having a fantastic time and this girl and I really hit it off. We made that night very memorable at least until the alcohol really started flowing.
At some-point a dog collar got passed around the party and I have forever been immortalized as having worn that colar proudly with her as my master Had been on a 8 month dry spell, and had the flu- when my buddy brought home 2 girls, 1 kinda cute the other And of course, being the stand up guy I am, I took one for the team.
It was horrible, I had the flu, snot coming out of my nose like a faucet. She didn't care, I even put it in her ass. Asked my buddy about her later, like what the hell was that? But I remember everyone playing football and shes there watching with her group of friends. So she eventually disappears and when out game ends my friend doesnt know where she is.
A week later a story surfaces that his sister left with 4 black guys into the woods and gave bj's to all of them lulz. Another story was this girl called 'icky vicky', basically another white sloot who gave bj's to black guys in school. Well one of the guys thought it would be funny to not let her swallow and busted on her black tshirt.
I remember everyone gathered around the 3rd floor bathroom because everyone knew what was going on. She came out with a giant stain on her shirt. Had a fat chick openly admit to letting a bunch of guys run a train on her. Was discust when I heard. Can't we all get along? I heard of one who stuck a frozen hotdog in her pus and it broke off. She had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. There was also one called fish because her pus smelt like fish.
Originally Posted by Criollo. Some dumb bish had a kid at 13, she missed a year out then came back after her bastard child must have been born. Had dat ass and not bad looking but she fuked too many people for my liking. Had a train run on her by 16 guys on her 16th birthday. The slut was strong in that one. Girl I went to highschool with cheated on her long term boyfriend and got impregnated by guy she cheated with Brb, bf doesn't want her back Brb, other guy doesnt want her Brb, aborted fetus Didn't manage to follow up on the rest of the aftermath, but I'm sure she was emotionally damaged afterwards.
Originally Posted by predfan I was at a party and this black girl arah was their and let about 5 guys run a train on her. When I was in 7th grade some girl in 10th grade let me feel her up on the back of the bus under the bra was a big deal back then Could have went farther but I was a beta b! Knew her for not even 2 days before this went down.
Reppin all fellow Military brahs on sight. If I was that fatty I would have thrusted her into the pool. We used to call this girl "Mag light". She was obsessed with anal apparently so some guys called her out on it at a party. She then proceeded to try to put one of those huge magnum flashlights up her butthole in front of everybody. Fuggin high school, mang