Hey girl are you a jellyfish because my understanding of your anatomy is rudimentary at best and I'm afraid to go near you.
50 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally Inappropriate But Also Hilarious | Thought Catalog
Ugh my boyfriend is taking forever to exist. Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Wait this might be football. Relationships are like marathons, which are also stupid. The dating process is basically just guys pretending that they like to leave their house. Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest. Right now, several billion people aren't dating you. Both wiggle when you eat them.
26 Hilarious Jokes About Dating That Single And Taken People Can Laugh At
A rabbi cuts them off. A priest sucks them off. What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? What did one broke hooker say to the other? Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour. How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same? What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
Why did the semen cross the road? Because you wore the wrong socks today. Why did the snowman suddenly smile? How are women like linoleum floors? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you. What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? Why did Jesus die a virgin? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.
Are you a fan of money, everlasting glory, but really just money? We want to give you that! Particularly the money part.
50 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally Inappropriate But Also Hilarious
Even if these guys were somehow able to meet with an imaginary, digital woman, science bets they probably couldn't seal the deal anyway. But let's face it, their just trying to endorse their bachelorhood , which is their first problem. Maybe they should try more red in their wardrobe to better their odds.
Fight scenes are the metric by which the six main genres of film are measured. The modern world is stomping all over your physical and mental well-being from several directions.
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Use My Facebook Avatar. Add me to the weekly Newsletter. Learn To Herd Goats. The Profile In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair: The Messages I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality.
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She got messages in 24 hours. Be Unforgivably Awful In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. Utter Nonsense I'll level with you, readers: