Residents get minimal flexibility with their schedules. Switches require planning and massive amounts of bargaining. The majority of the time, the doctor has to give up holidays or multiple weekends to get a specific night off. Residents are allowed approximately four weeks of vacation in a scheduled year.
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This time is used to catch up on their own medical appointments, reconnect with family and friends that have been neglected, and more importantly - sleep! Just recently started dating a doctor and want to take a romantic tropical vacation together? You might just have to wait until the next schedule comes around. Vacations are requested almost a year in advance. But it's not that simple.
Life as an Attending: First impressions! - #Lifeofamedstudent
Doctors used to marry nurses -- it was a more common practice in previous generations. They have crazy hours Typically, nurses enter into relationships with first year interns or residents. Residents second and third years are on call every fourth night. Coworkers feel invested in these relationships and need details. It's impossible to leave work at work It's hard enough for most people to leave work out of dinner conversations.
Generally, weddings and births will take priority over other planned events. There a number of smaller, more specific medicine-related subreddits, including those listed above for medical students. Please find these on the meddit wiki. I have been asked out by my attending. I'm a resident in a major metropolitan hospital and get along great with everyone.
There is a generally chill atmosphere and everyone is pretty laid back. Am on first name basis with most of the staff, including attendings. When I first started here I immediately noticed him an attending.
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He introduced himself, talked to me and helped me settle. He's a new attending and only a couple of years older than me. He just seemed nice and I guess we clicked. He showed me how to get things done in this hospital. Sometimes we'd go out for drinks there would be other doctors there too, staff from the hospital residents and 'bosses'. He sometimes commented on my physique I work out a lot.
I like working out, especially after a hard and tiring day. He would say things like wow 'How much do you eat to maintain all those muscles? He would refer to me as mr Muscle am nicknamed mr Muscle because of him. I didn't think anything of it, just him being friendly. I thought we were becoming friends. Time progresses a bit and he tells me about his work outs.
He's done p90x and insanity. He looks good too, but he's not as muscled as me. Recently he went on a skiing trip and injured his medial collateral ligament, so he has sessions with our physical therapist. He does mostly squats, lunges and extensions. So I told him if he would like to, I can take him to my gym and he can work out with me. I go to a high end gym with a pool and several sauna's and a jacuzzi. I took him to my gym and showed him some exercises and guided him I think this may have been a mistake in hindsight, but I was just trying to be nice.
We went to the pool afterwards and chatted a bit. Got dressed and I dropped him off at home. A couple of days pass and he is friendlier then ever.
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Also seems more affectionate. Just progression of friendship, right? Or so I thought. He asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks next week. Where are we going and who is coming? Did he tell the others already? He said 'No, just the two of us'. Can't the others make it? I want to take you out. In hindsight the signs are there, but hey I can be a bit naive I guess. So now I have this dilemma. I do like him and might be attracted to him, but don't want things to get weird. He is my boss after all.
I don't want to offend him either by not accepting.. There is just a different power dynamic.
Life as an Attending: First impressions!
What should I do? I was going to go on, but frankly, I think point 1 sticks it hard enough. Explain how it will look if he gives you any positive treatment deserved or otherwise ; about how it will look if he gives you any negative treatment deserved or otherwise ; about possible problems with HR, etc. Just be kindly blunt: Do not check with HR. HR is there to cover the hospital in the case of legal shit; it's not there to protect you.
They'll start documenting shit while you're looking to get advice.
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- 2. You get the looks, gossip, and questions.
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HR has no place unless you think this guy's not emotionally mature enough to handle things without it blowing back on you. The reason my entire post was "how to get out of this", and not "let's weigh your options" is because you don't have options. You want to date someone at the hospital? Great, aim for someone in a different department. Preferably, in a different branch Nursing -- Doctor -- Admin. Do not date someone in your immediate work setting; especially do not date your boss. It's so stupid a move as to border on actively self-destructive.
Ok ok, so I'm excited at your age. You're 40 and an MS2, when did you start undergraduate work towards becoming a doctor? Can you also pm me your experience?
I am interested in returning to med school when I am around 40 28 right now and I would love some insight about what it is like. My hospital is full of resident and attending relationships and there are a couple of married attendings who started dating when one of them was a resident. I think it's considered more iffy if one of the pair is a medical student because of the power differential. It's understood to some extent, because medicine doesn't give you a whole lot of opportunities to meet people outside the hospital. I think some disclosure might be involved, at least it protects you if things go sour and you get a bad evaluation out of nowhere.
I was working in ortho a couple of months ago and one of the house officer's husband is a medical registrar. He even came up to give her a hand at one point. Just back out of this in the nicest way possible. I'm sorry, you're a great person, I'd love to be friends, but I am just not ready for a relationship right now.