Because it was his birthday I decided to go for a final attack and made a personal present for him. How I fell in love with him and about all the things I like about him. Every page had about 2 or 3 sentences in English and Japanese and a drawing. There was also one page with a drawing of his face. The book ended with telling him that I was still willing to date him even though he turned me down with this obvious excuse of working in the same team. It might be obvious to many people but doing all this to a guy who is not interested and possibly not used to dealing with girls is not only ineffective but also counterproductive.
It scared the hell out of him. I can easily guess what was going on in his mind. Hopefully it will stop as time goes by. Maybe we can just be friends? The ending was sad but predictable. But such an emotionally loaded gift would only work if he was already madly in love with her. But, as someone who has supposedly more experience in dating, she should have realised that she was doing everything wrong. Some girls seem to figure out Japanese guys well. She mentions some interesting things.
They are generally not affectionate at least in public , they are typically shy, and they work a lot. But, there are plenty out there that are interested. This is a minor detail but I believe paying attention to details eventually makes you very good at understanding a given culture. Apparently, that was what she did.
Figuring out subtle cultural cues is, of course, not always easy. A German guy talks about his German female friend who failed to understand signs from a Japanese guy. Some girls who think that guys are not interested in them simply fail to detect the signs coming from guys. I would advise girls to be gentle and not necessarily pursue the man of their interest, but make him do the first step.
It worked out for me. Contrary to what people believe, Japanese people do express their feelings. Japanese TV drama, films, novels and manga often depict silent expressions of love and gratitude.
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Needless to say, people have no problem understanding these subtle ways. Some Japanese people do prefer a more expressive communication style, and they tend to date non-Asian people. She does admit that she likes how Latino and Mediterranean men are warm, passionate, romantic and affectionate type of men, even more than other Westerners such as Americans or Nordic people. She is getting what she believes is hard to get from Japanese guys from her Mexican boyfriend. I know a lot of people who are successfully dating Japanese guys and girls. Many of them have mixed parents or speak more than two languages.
I found a similar tendency in the blog comments. I might just be cherry-picking examples. My personal experience is quite biased since I tend to make friends with culturally open people; most of the friends I have in Japan are very open-minded as opposed to ethnocentric which, I believe, most of the people on earth are. Let me know what you think. I have a similar impression. While there might be a few girls who lower their guard for white guys, they remain a small percentage of the whole Japanese female population. Most importantly, they are not necessarily the kind of girls you want to have a relationship with.
Sure, I hear war stories: But a lot of western guys I know are not having a particularly easy time in Japan. Dating in Japan can be a bit harder, compared to a more socially open country, because Japanese people tend to be reserved and cautious with strangers. If it feels harder to date in Japan, maybe it really is. From my experience, simplified workflows of dating western and Japanese women would be like this.
Is Dating Japanese Women Really That Easy?
Mind you, there are many exceptions so this is by no means definite. I updated the workflow because the previous one seemed to have given the wrong impression of how I think one should approach women. Dating Japanese people requires a few extra steps. For example, some girls prefer hanging out in a group before going on a real date with you. I remember this girl I met at a party.
She was nice and rather cute so I asked her out a few days after. She replied by saying that she would prefer hanging out in a group with her friends first to get to know me. Fortunately, not all Japanese girls are like that, but I definitely feel that Japanese girls generally need more time. People can be quite cautious of strangers here.
This might be the reason why western-style online dating has never been really huge in Japan. Overall, you have a much better chance of meeting someone through your friends or acquaintances than hitting on random people in public. In fact, there are many ways to meet people in Japan and it gets easier once you learn how. I know plenty of westerners and other foreigners in Japan who have good relationships with Japanese people.
True Stories of Mixed Dating in Japan. If you've read this far, you should probably subscribe to my blog and follow me on twitter or Facebook. Like always, interesting and well written. But if I can agree the surface, I can't agree the bigger picture. Note that this is just an opinion, based on my experience, observation and the collection of other people's experience. Japan is no exception. Let me explain my point.
I am a strong disbeliever of any cultural explanations. I don't think Japan has a thing that make its people a different brand. Being Japanese, or Chinese, or French, doesn't make a big difference. And fact are that dating is first and foremost the meeting of two creature with good communication or a common goal, in other word: So the problem of how hard it is to date is three folds: And then we can find most of the elements you've rightfully mentioned: It is not Japanese are shy, it is that acting bluntly will make them look like barbarians!
How deep such behavior is then interriorized depends on people… Sure it creates a barrier to those of more direct society.
- Dating Japanese Women – Conclusion:.
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Or at least, some of them… But isn't the same in any hyper urban societies? Japanese or not, in Japan or not. And overall, dating is like searching your lost home keys… They are always in the last place you searched, by definition! You'll complain while searching, you don't care anymore once you found.
Is Dating Japanese Women Really That Easy? » Zooming Japan
You can of course say that it all comes down to personalities. But then the question will be this: Identical twins are known to develop different personalities depending on the environment they grow up in. They may share some common traits, their personalities won't be exactly the same. Nurture does affect your personality. Also, different cultures have different sets of social rules. When you go to a grocery store in France, you are expected to say 'bonjour'. Failing to do this will be seen as rude and antisocial. In Japan, this is not necessary. There are numerous hidden rules like this in different cultures and not understanding them make it harder for you to deal with local people.
If you are from a culture similar to Japan, your dating life won't be that much different. However, if your cultural values are very different, you are likely to have a harder time. It is more realistic to say that it's your innate personality tendency AND culture that affect your dating life. It's neither 'completely nature' nor 'completely nurture'. Most of black guys see Japanese girls with eyes filled with stars when they look at white guys for example.
And you instantly got crush on her. This might happen to you. But think about it. Would you like to date the girl even if you were not black, in the first place? Dating is one of the most exciting and important things in our lives. I honestly can't believe if y ou let the opportunity go to waste.
But, I found out so many foreigners in Japan actually give up dating Japanese in Japan, especially black people. I met a lot of great black people in Japan. Don't get me wrong. Just go ahead being single. But if you live in Japan, chances are you meet someone Japanese you want to date. In that case, I want you to take action and find your love. If you don't believe me, watch the below video. Ch on Oct Maruchan on Nov Nobita on Jul 3. Does Physical Attraction Really Matter?