The Hanukkah Parties have started…and, so have the work holiday parties. Below is a link to a good list of guidelines for your office party. While the wild and crazy party goer is entertaining, it will be a label and story that sticks with you for a long time. She gets it…Some Jews are sufficiently brainwashed early on to look for a Jew to marry. For others, it can take some time to come around to why it is important. The creator of Porn4Jews. After seeing the facts and figures of a Pew study on the face of Jews in America, she finally got it.
Check out her full story here: If you are looking for other Jews some being single and a good time there is still time to pre-register today; or pay a little more at the door. It is always interesting when a business magazine has an article on love. This article talks about the science of love. One truth to take from this and just life in general — Be kind to each other.
People only see what you allow them to see so they think thats all there is to you. As a result, they put you in that particular box and expect you to always stay there. I want to be left alone, avoid talking with others especially small talk , or hanging out with a bunch of people with phony smiles and forced conversation. I have an easy time making them but a hard time keeping them. No one in my family would ever believe I am really shy!! I have never had any trouble talking to people, however, it was never easy for me. I was even in sales and had jobs always in the public eye!
It was privately very stressful for years. At work I was the funny, outgoing person who had it all. I learned to became outgoing to fit in and be liked. Also my family came first. My husband and kids were all I needed so it was hard keeping friends. I never felt I could give them the time and attention they needed either. I like to think I am a great friend, but just need my space too. I am glad there are others like me! I guess you can call me an Extroverted Introvert!! For a prospective college student who is really driven, good with people considering business , is visually artistic and loves to write AND is seriously an extroverted introvert, what should I study?
Oh my goodness yes! I love people so much and my heart goes out to them but if I am at a social event I need alone time for at least twenty minutes before and thirty minutes after. I rarely last more than two hours at a social event. I love parties and having fun but aaaaahhhh people never seem to understand why I always want to go home after a while. I often feel conflicted. Depends on the situation. Being an INFJ, this is so me. My Extroverted feelings want to be around people and share in their emotions and try help as many ppl as I can.
As this is the struggle the INFJ extroverted introvert has in my experience. My husband is always wanting to go here or there and he loves being a social butterfly. I am the total opposite.
It is like you say, when we do go out we can be quite sociable, but we have to get there first. I would rather stay home and watch TV or be on the internet doing research or learning something new. I have two labs that are more company than I ever need. My husband and I live separately together. We sleep in separate bedrooms and are basically room mates than spouses.
We have grown apart and I am not complaining about that. He has not complained about that. Is there anyone else that has a relationship like this? I do find myself really wanting to remain close to keep the other person happier, almost for the sake of showing my gratitude for their understanding — as if their understanding makes me need less personal space. This describes me almost perfectly. When I plan on attending a party or occasion with a number of people, I have my exit planned beforehand. Most often will drive on my own so I can leave at any time.
As well, I make no promises to keep up friendships with people I have just met. My small close circle of friends are difficult enough to keep going! I am a pastor, and an ISTJ. I was agreeing and relating to this the whole time I read. Thank you, well written article. Wow this is so me!! Mine is more like long term tho.
Like literally annoy me! Also not all is bad, because I have friends from all my life, and that is priceless. For the longest time I considered myself an introvert, but recently I begin questioning this as when I looked back there were many times I was quite social. Heck, I could start conversations with random strangers and go on about my day or the things I like. I could even start going into more personal s t if before reeling myself in. More I realized while I do enjoy my alone time I also deeply desire being with and talking with others.
Making friends and just getting along with each other. More, there was time I felt I needed someone to say I did a good job or agreed with what I feel or think. I enjoy reading, loved it even, but ever since I graduated from High School I can hardly focus on a book for very long. I use the Internet alot, on forums, and skype, and youtube.
Interacting and getting to know others. I watch movies, TV shows, play roleplaying games, most enjoying worlds that are not my own. An Introvert, an Social Introvert, and Extrovert? I have made myself uncertain and confused. I just really not interesting to talk much to anyone around me.
I just speak or text people for an important thing. And I just talk much with one person that I really believe and care about to keep everything. Most people think that I am an extrovert but they could not be more wrong. I never understood why until I read this article, so thank you! I enjoy socializing, but it drains me, and that causes me to prefer being alone most of the time.
Again, thank you for this article! You have summed up perfectly. I consider myself an introvert and I am.. But when charged up [ — it can be anything like a good topic of discussion, some good news, breakthrough in my work, or sometimes a glass of wine can do the trick ;- ], I become a different person. I can make friends easily but cannot maintain except for a few… I am so good at one-to-one conversations..
I sometimes am quiet but listening for sure. But people love me! Definitely agree with the whole small talk thing. I absolutely hate small talk. Give me the goods and maybe we can connect and who knows I may open up and tell you stuff about me? This also describes me and I am also a therapist. I always associated it with energy changes due to ADHD, but this is much more accurate a description.
Yeah I feel almost the same. I was trying to figure out why I felt bad for wanting to socialize. But, I do know that I will not want to stay the entire time. Everyone tells me that!! I feel the same way. I know plenty of Geminis that are very extroverted. Not speaking for you but for me. You are the first I have heard say it. I m quite confident n moderstely bold. I always thought myself to be an introvert. Later realizing I had no title cause I pick and choose those I would like to know and those I feel are chatty cause they need to be.
I find myself needing my alone time. Two or more people talking. That train can go forever and topic can range from extreme to extreme. The point is, people know each other and become valued friends. Not life long buds maybe, yet someone you know has depth. I just watch how I handle myself. I like who I am. Less drama and stress in my life. I prefer to step out of the shadows once in a while. I like the individual of a person. If you are offended… no need to let me know. Interesting read though, can definitely relate.
Thank you for this, each time I tell my friends or colleagues I am a shy person, no one ever believes me. Now it makes so much sense, good news is I am not alone!! An ambivert, on the other hand is someone who is right in the middle of the spectrum between an introvert and extrovert.
They may be more social, but they will also have more of the other extroverted traits, such as less need for time alone, faster communication, and less energy drain. This is exactly me, I feel this way all the time, I love to go out make new friends but as soon as I went out nd sew new people I feeling like run from that place and hide somewhere, I am soo afraid to be left alone, m scared of watching big groups with me as well, The problem with me apart from thos is my conciousness for my look, m kinda chubby girl so I continuesly feel like people are more interested in holding conversation with hot girls nd not someone like me,.
I am so glad I found this article when I did coz I had begun to wonder if maybe I was the one with the issue. I really love your writing here. Those are really on point. All of them glimpse who i am. If my mind says no, then the answer is no. Btw, keep up the good work. Your new reader from Malaysia? I am one of those people who make friends easily then I kinda back away.
So thanks so much to all who shared in the comments and the article itself.
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You guys are awesome!! I often puzzle myself. But when I became comfortable, I am still as quiet as ever. I can talk or be just be in silence at times. It just end like this way. I find this really strange. I would like to know more cause it troubles thinking who am I. I know what type of people everyone wants to be talking to, so whenever they are around I would be that person for a while.
Also, sometimes I love people and being around them and interacting and doing everything.
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Really, I get to think sometimes building up my life alone is amazing. And this really confuses me since I make friends like in 2 seconds!! This is so me. Great to know there are many of us out there. I spent Thanksgiving alone for the first time and enjoyed it a lot. Did miss my daughter and her family who live miles away but never felt lonely.
6 Signs You’re An Extroverted Introvert
I was married 20 years and divorced 15 years. Think nothing of going out to eat alone and reading my book. I have three great friends and feel very blessed. That is so me. I always have wondered whether I am extroverted or introverted? I got answer to all of these answers here. So it is okay to be this way i. Strange, most of the people having Extroverted Introvert personality are directly or indirectly connected to Psychology and Sociology. No wonder that I am into Psychology subject. I believe I am also the one. I am glad to land on this post as I could get many people like me which makes me feel I am no different than many others.
Only recently have I discovered this explanation of who I believe I am. It has been very freeing to hear others stories about the same experience. It was vicariously painful to watch and feel. I talked and worked tenaciously for them to see their own uniqueness and beauty. Many wise people have come in and out of my life to help me learn so much.
At this point as a 75 year old, I can say that all of it is coming full circle for me. Thank you for these messages. Hello Thanks so much for posting this. But this does perfectly. Usually they describe universal human traits that are never really talked about openly; think of un-talked about subjects like how your body reacts when you think there is one more step than there actually is at the end of a set of stairs.
That being said, I believe you have described the psychological condition of Bipolar II Disorder, albeit in much more positive, beneficial nomenclature and syntax than a psychiatrist would give. In this way, it is similar to a personality test you can take on the internet or from some sort of governing institution think the Myers Briggs Test. It does not take a far leap in logic to realize this rather evident truth; psychiatrists need a better grasp on the way in which people like the author and myself handle ourselves in society.
If i were a betting man, I would wager that if I walked into a psych ward, I would be diagnosed with some sort of bipolar disorder even though I have led a successful and exciting life. Imagine, especially today when mental health is at the forefront of the modern medical revolution, extroverted introverts being diagnosed, or rather misdiagnosed, as having bipolar disorder and then being sedated by medication for the rest of their days. There really should be better terminology when dealing with mental health as having a certain personality should not be considered a disease at all.
This article explains me so accurately, I often fight with myself to go out and see friends or meet new people. I only like doing a select amount of activities and they are very limited. I am open to talking to people who struggle like I do in this sense if they need be at my email: Wow did this resonate in every way. I was told that I am masking because I should only be one or the other. So, thanks for this article. So enlightening and freeing!! The part that always seems interesting is when others might assume that they made me mad or did something wrong.
I have often wondered why people are surprised to know I prefer to avoid large crowds and when I tell them I have depression and anxiety, they have a hard time believing me. Because I function so well in the day-to-day world they assume this is me all of the time. More recently I became aware that I am quite selective about my social activities and I think this is because my energy reserve depletes quickly.
So I choose what and with whom I spend my energy with. I would like to have more friends and do more, however over the last 5 years or so I noticed I turn away more invitation. As well I am less likely to pursue friendships because ultimately my time and energy will be used. If family or friends read this they will think I am pompous or arrogant to determine if a friendship is worth my time and energy.
I feel bad about that. This is exactly me! There is something that you missed though. To be honest, it is frustratingly difficult to maintain good friendships. Also, I totally get the fear of being trapped at a party. Idk who I am. I think in a way Im more of an ambivert. Im shy but I sometimes feel like I dont really care to talk to people.
In a way sometimes I hate small talk but I dont really care if there is quiteness around me and my friends. But then sometimes I hate it. Idk I kight be a shy ambivert or shy extrovert. My dads a big introvert and my mom is a shy extrovert. Idk sometimes I feel more like my mom. My dad really avoids socializing unlike me but idk. I always kind of live in a daydream and dont really need socializing to be entertained.
10 Things You Need to Know Before Dating the Outgoing Introvert | The works of
I mea of they start having conversations with me and giving me attention Ill open up more or be interested but if theyre just stonefaced, or cant entertain you much, or if their shy I dont really like them. I mean sometimes I dont mind happy shy people but idk sometimes I rarely find people like that. I always feelmore energized when I socialize but I dont mind being alone to but I have to be interested in something to be alone.
Otherwise if Im not distracted by something I might socialize with friends or just daydream and doodle. I dont really need socializing but I think my problem is that I cant trust people easily and it makes me loose friends easily. Also Im probably not the most loyal person but idk only if I really trust them or if they keep giving attention to me. Well, that solves, to a certain extent, something about myself that has over the years, both puzzled me and sometimes worried me. Years ago and mostly because I opened my big mouth at the wrong moment, I was elected as the union rep.
When the moment came for me to address a union meeting, I was astonished how easy it was. I simply stood up and said everything I had to say and afterwards answered a lot of questions about the problem that we were meeting for. If I do weaken and agree to go, usually before an hour is up, I will be slowly sliding along a wall towards the nearest door and then making my escape. To make it worse, I nearly always leave without telling anyone, especially my host. I lie to them. What else can I say to them? I also live alone. For almost twenty years, it was just my son and I and now he has moved to another city to further his career.
At first I missed him terribly and I still do miss him, but I also love having the whole house to myself and being able to come and go as I please, without having to take any other person into consideration. In short, believe in yourself. You hit the nail in the head, with me!
I have my own business, which is all extrovert! I am a professional organizer, homes stager, and interior designer…. I was once selected for a year-long executive leadership program. Prior to the program we had to take an extensive Myers-Briggs test. The program was well though out, organized and generally a fantastic experience where I met some great people and learned a lot about myself and leadership. The only flaw, and it is a flaw I find in almost every educational and training situation, it seems as if the whole program is designed to force introverts to be extroverts.
It seems our entire training and education system is designed to stifle, intimidate, and force introverts to think and interact as if they were extroverts. And i just HATE small talk! That contentment, i never realized was there until i lost it after changing my attitude deliberately.
Back then i was connected with Allah GOD. We feel like we are not the type built for This world. I know its confusing but think about it, the universe needs more people like us, we need to be there for children, girls and boys, wives and daughters, fathers and husbands, who need help. We need to help Who are subjected to cruelty just like we were once.
And we need to help them figure out just like we did that they are not the odd ones. Who else knows better than us that help is needed to survive through tough times. Its like we have to make this very peaceful and loving group of people, and add in them as many as we meet, who have a spark of goodness in them. Because those were the moment that gave them actual happiness.
I strongly believe that, Because otherwise it makes no sense that why God sent us down here just to get hurt and still love them over and over again?
What do you think should be done with that love? I hope i make sense. For those who are looking for ways to fight bullies without being violent, there you go: You need to keep few things in mind: And by others, i mean all others. Even the colleague who keeps planning ill for you. Even the bullies who keep making fun of you. Good deeds explain you better than words do.
Keep a smile on your face. Not only does it erase distances, it also makes you more approachable and less mysterious. And, it also gives other person a chance to befriend you. He would do it with his group of friends, and joke about me with them, and it bugged me, real bad. It went on for half a year, until i started giving him a weird smile whenever i saw him. Idk what happened, maybe it freaked him out idk, lol! Who knew smile could be a weapon to scare people off?
Anyways, I started smiling everytime we crossed each other, and after almost 4 months, i got an instagram request from her, and of course, she stalked me and got to know me, and now she says salam hi everytime she crosses me and even stopped to ask me random questions about my studies. Say Hi to as many people as possible. It not only invites more people towards you, but also develops a sense of belonging to others and it feels even better when people start saying hi back to you without you expecting them to.
Mind that I do not mean that you should belittle or judge others, this tip just applicable people who are prone to negativity, no matter what you do. I do not mean be rude, but just not let others in until you strongly believe that they are worth it, and it might take years for you to figure out if someone deserves to be trusted. Thank you for describing my personality so well. You are too good Michaela. I think people like us should be very valued by society. We are more direct and productive and easier to get along with and less likely to cause trouble.
We get the job done while we are good to people and then we just want to be left alone. Because we are Happy!!!! I am very much a social butterfly and make friends easily. People like me and I generally like to be around people of all walks of life. I really enjoy a mixed crowd.
I have a low tolerance for ignorant stupidity and no room for bigotry but I will be friendly to almost anyone. I am, however, not one to take on close friends. In almost every case of close friendship over the years I have been suddenly abandoned for reasons that have never been revealed to me. A lifelong childhood friend and another high school buddy just up and moved one day without any word to me whatsoever. A friend I made later in life and spent an enormous amount of time with gradually migrated away from our friendship and became extremely cold to me.
So, I gave up on close friends and maintain either very close aquaintances or loose friendships. I never invite others to my place. Everyone knows me and says hi but I am the loneliest man in the world. I deal with depression and sometimes being social is overwhelming for me. I often make plans to attend something but end up talk myself out of attending. When I do get home I am exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. Many times I crave the interaction with friends or family and other times I have to force myself to go to things.
I struggle to find the balance I need to make life work for me! Well im like that in a way i just dont like talking to ppl period. I hate crowded places,like family events or even to the mall or a zoo ill get so overwhelmed at points i just want to cry. Yep this me down to an absolute tee. Just occasionally I can have a string of folk turning up over the weekend, if no line is drawn by Monday morning its running on empty time at work. I am a complete social introvert. I am also an Extroverted introvert. It becomes difficult for out friends to understand us that we need some time for self and the same thing seems strange to them.
Thanks for making me feel sane. This is very much me! I wish I could be a full on extrovert. It would make life much easier. I want to make more friends, network for business, and date more, but my introversion kills me. I find that I kind of binge socialize. I get a need for a lot of socializing, and I spend 3 days in a row at bars, and then I retreat back home for the rest of the month.
How can I get more energy so I can be more extroverted!? I also pushed myself to play in a band and have been playing gigs inform of people and it has gone well, but after I feel soo drained and need that recharge as mentioned. I feel I fear meeting people I already know for some reason in say a mall or home town event and that gives me anxiety for what ever reason any one have similar experiences?
Hahahaha…this is soo me! You have just perfectly summed up my life! Heard the term for a while and finally checked it out… if i knew it would have finally make so much sense of what my friends and family refer to as alien like tendency. I was always good. I am always called an extravert since I am usually outgoing, but as said in this article I am truly an introvert.
I am drained quickly and more. This is me in a nutshell…. Knowing the perfect question to ask is actually far more imperative in comparison with having a prepared reply. Perfect questions challenge your own reasoning. Scientific studies are rather lucid that we value people who listen to us. Our task and aims are unquestionably at the heart of who we are and who we would like to be. In the simplest of terms, proper questions are our instrument for aiding to see the genuine inescapable fact around us instead of shadowy depictions of it.
Ask elementary questions regarding the things which everybody else takes for certain. People are willing to forgive. They want to enjoy an ideal dialog together with you. We do things for numerous different reasons. Once you ask somebody as to what satisfies them, it opens the door to discovering an issue that is invariably extraordinary to that individual. It may be a sensationa instance for others once you bring in them to reveal their goals with you. I hate to say this but I thought I am the only one.
I thought I was retarded or mentally ill… makes me wanted to kill myself sometimes. I can relate to this so much. I have no problem spending my social bank account on people, because I love to be with people. Raising my hand here and glad to be counted among the rest of you! First marriage ended when my wife of 9 years suddenly checked out of reality and walked away, leaving me with our 4 year old child.
Mental illness is a concept that very few people can grasp, however given all the mental health professionals that have weighed in here, I suspect I am among those that do. It took a couple years to understand the cause, but her doctors settled on her behavior stemming from a genetic issue, and eventually I was able to come to terms with the loss and move on. Fast forward four years. I met someone who I felt a strong connection with, who was outgoing and had weathered a divorce as well, who had a daughter around the same age as my son. It was instant chemistry and we were both eager to tie the knot, but soon after doing so I discovered what had been hidden … alcoholism, narcissism, irresponsibility.
Less than a year in, I ended it and started the divorce process once again. That was over a year ago and I have the finish line in sight, thankfully. But like I said at the beginning, the pieces were once again dashed on the floor and I was left to put them back together again, wondering all kinds of things; mostly about why I let this happen. I had paid no attention to them when I took the test a decade before, but back then, being happily married, I had no real reason to. Now, reading those results was like visiting a psychiatrist. Not sure if I will eventually find the right match, but now, with knowing and accepting the personality type that I have, I at least have hope that I understand myself better, like what to embrace and what to avoid.
Thanks Michaela for your articles! This is so accurate. And the friendship part! But I just recently tried to make a new neighbor friend and between work and church commitments I would have no social battery left by the time I got home. I do feel so, but what do you think it tells about me, who is a person who finds it hard to have a staple set of friends and keeps changing them in the due course of time….?
Your email address will not be published. Jen on October 8, at 1: LoriA on October 11, at 1: Shelley on December 30, at I too am a therapist and psychiatric nurse… You have said it well. Lorraine Johnson on June 8, at 6: Andrea on August 19, at 9: Arleta on September 23, at Joey on October 12, at 2: Become your best self with a community of real women around the world who have your back.
As I started writing this blog posting, I came across many other articles that cover this topic. With that, I wanted to incorporate what I have read from others and put my own spin on this. A day in the student life of the Mari consists of classes, student org meetings and being surrounded by the other 40, undergraduate students at UW-Madison. Having the personality that I do, I love being around endless amounts of people.
I love learning new stories and creating memories with others, however at the end of the day, I need to recharge and be alone surrounded by only my thoughts. My mind constantly is thinking and planning and trying to live three, four, twenty steps ahead that it can be overwhelming to myself. Hard to relate to? Well here are ten things that describe me and possibly other outgoing introverts. Really though, at the end of the day, I will either start mumbling in response to you or just fall asleep as fast as I can. If i'm irritable, I generally try not to say anything at all and will try to avoid people in the best way possible.
Sorry mom, she usually gets the worst of it. I try to take as many photos as I can with everybody thus capturing the moment along with spicing up the fun. When you have me and you have a fiesta, there are laughs, there are dance moves and there are selfies. Thinking all day about every detail can really make you believe that you actually know a person based off of their actions, their habits and just out of the observations you have kept mentally.
People watching can show you things about a person that you might not want to see.
Personality Pathways: Question, observe, share, explore.
On the opposing end, if we don't like a person, well you win some and you lose some. Most of the time, my phone is near me regardless of the situation I'm in. With that, constant notifications are coming in. If it's not new emails, it's text messages or reminders or whatever else is connected to my phone, if my mind wasn't enough already, the plug to a smart phone can be overwhelming. Really though, it's just that simple. If a response is not something you are looking for then, absorbing the information is what we will do.