Because, with the exception perhaps of doctors and the president, none of us has committed to a life of being on-call at all times for all people. The idea that we should be is totally dismissive of the vital — but increasingly disrespected — concepts of individual space and sanity. Should you leave a text message lingering in the abyss forever? Would you want your text to be totally ignored, forever and ever? Another vote to follow up at least once.
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I have definitely not received texts before or gotten them days after they were sent. So, I think it's entirely feasible that your crush either didn't get the text or thought a response was already sent. One low-key follow up after a reasonable time period day or two? I think texting in general is bad for early dating, but totally understand why you would do it, and it's definitely an easy communication method.
It's also really, really easy to miscommunicate with people you don't know well while texting. I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but maybe call them? I tend to miss a lot of texts because I don't really get my phone so well. I think it's okay to follow up to an unanswered text about a second date, but I wouldn't do it after just a day or two. I'd do it after about a week. But my best friend and I routinely ignore text messages from each other for days, so YMMV - I'm not very text-oriented despite being Just one other thing: If I weren't interested in someone I'd have told them so shortly after they first texted me about another date, and I wouldn't like the implication that I was doing the immature fade-out thing.
So for me, a follow-up text like this one would get a polite "Eh In other words, be casual with your one follow-up text. For me, it might say something like - "Hi - any interest in getting that drink? I confess that I have yet to even come close to being able to do this, but: It's absolutely okay to say -- especially if you've already established text-based communication -- "I really prefer same-day responses to texts. You can also feel free to call me, if that's easier.
And it's okay if other people don't meet them. If they don't, they probably aren't really right for you. People who like you are NOT going to be put off by being asked, politely, for timely communication. Besides, if they're not prompt now, it's not going to magically get better. Texting for a date? Then you know where you stand.
I think texting is one of those low risk ways of contacting people, and frankly, I think people worth gambling on. So I'll call and then I'll leave a message. If I don't hear back, I assume you're not interested. The converse is that I expect to hear back, even if I don't do the inviting. If you're interested in me, and you don't hear from me, you have enough confidence to contact me first. Texting, or messaging on Facebook or whatever is a bit too nonchalant. It smacks of minimal effort. I think dating should involve effort. But if I texted a guy and didn't hear back, I'd assume he wasn't interested and I'd move on.
Let him surprise me. If he IS interested, he'll text me soon enough. I'd assume they'd lost interest, but I'd send one more text to be sure as occasionally texts can go missing: If I didn't hear anything I'd cut my losses. I prefer being messaged online or texted if I've directly given my number to the guy rather than being called.
I'm actually pretty outgoing and like interacting with people and dating, but a sudden phone call just puts me on the spot, especially if I'm worried that sounding tired or not particularly perky or happy will make them think I'm not enthusiastic to see them. Or if some creeper called, I honestly would say okay just so not to embarrass him and get one of those disproportionate responses, then have to figure out how wheedle my way out it.
Also, text conversations are pretty revealing. If the guy sends a dick pic, you don't actually have to be blindsided when he pretends to be nice in person or over the phone and then decides he can grope your thigh at dinner because he's paying for dinner.
If he just sends the dick pic or tries to dirty text you before, you don't have to waste time on getting dressed up or getting your hopes up and then dashed. So I highly recommend sticking to texting until you've seen him a few times and get a better idea of who he is. Be safe, and don't be too trusting or hopeful at the beginning. My husband initially asked me out by email - an email which I never got. Luckily for us, he asked again the next time we saw each other. So I vote for making one more attempt. Texting is for confirming details or quick updates to people you know well who can determine your inflection without a voice.
For someone you don't know well, call. It's not unusual for a random text to go missing for a few hours or days. Any other response time means he thinks you're cool, or actually has a response that he will get to when he gets to it, or … doesn't want you to die. I think dating and texting will and can exist. My phone's on silent at work and when it's plugged up to the charger the charger light is on and therefore I cannot see the texting indicator light.
Same thing at the gym. I"m not looking at my phone. Now when I'm not occupied I'll really respond to everyone when I get the text or are aware I was texted regardless of interest level. If I don't respond right away it means I'm probably doing something and will get to you when I can…which is the whole purpose of texting as opposed to calling I thought…but maybe I'm wrong. Now I say all that assuming we are talking reasonable scenarios…. Those go without saying. My reply above was in the context of within anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours later within the same day. I don't think it really matters with the amount of time as long as its not 2 days later.
I think what really matters is the quality of the text. If you are texting something that requires more than one word, and all you are getting is one word……….. No seriously though, i thnk it has alot to do about understanding.
I’m Not Responding to Your Text Message Right Away, and Here’s Why
Understand that while this text conversation is happening between you two, life is also happening. Like anything could happen at any point in time that could prevent you from focusing on a text. This applies to both men and women. I have an issue with texting sometimes too i cant lie, but i just think that you have to be able to balance both texting and talking. There have been plenty times i have stared at a text like "hmm.. I keep my phone in my purse at all times on vibrate so when I check my phone and see I have a text, I reply mind you I could check it hours after the person reached out to me or minutes.
I'm weary of people who expect instant replies especially during normal work hours depending on your work hours I mean aren't you working? If you are constantly on text mode then how are you working…that is a sign. But I will never wait days — someone takes a day to respond, then that is rude; I mean its a text how long does it take? They can co-exist so long as there are mutual understandings about texting norms. I learned my lesson and try to make it clear early on that I only use texts for small talk like "I'm headed out now"…deep stuff that requires active listening, is done in person.
And yes, you make time for ppl you're interested in. A simple acknowledgement text is basic courtesy. If i dont hear from you after a day, I do a mental write off and keep it moving. I'm not a good chaser in person and im even worst in the digital space.
I just had the pettiest argument with one of my friends because she was complaining about some idiot who wasn't responding to her text fast enough and I just couldn't take her seriously. Getting worked up over how long someone takes to respond to a text is crazy. Sometimes I don't even realize I have a text until hours after it is sent. You could be doing a number of things like napping, working, driving or whatever. It just depends on the person I guess to determine if their texting behaviors are valid indicators of their interest. Absolutely getting back "on time" or not depends on his interest level.
Don't front when you first meet a woman and she has all the right things says all the right things, you know you're checking your phone to see if she calls or texts.
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Or when your phone rings you're checking to see if it's her. When she texts you, you go right back, unless you're trying to do something strategic. And I'm sure the fairer sex does the same thing. Bottom line is, if someone is interested in you they'll get back within that day, because it doesn't take a year to respond with a text or a quick call.
I’m Not Responding to Your Text Message Right Away, and Here’s Why - HelloGiggles
Although if they do have a busy lifestyle work and school, single mom, etc. With that being said however, sometimes we are among the worst offenders of text etiquette, but we do get back within a reasonable time period.
It's a process and takes time. The interest is there, its just that the person had obligations and things going on in their life before you came along, especially when people have a child or kids. Realistically it just doesn't always happen quick and easy. I've really gotten over the texting thing.
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I had elaborate decoding systems for ambiguous texts. And yes, the longer it took the guy to respond, the less he was into you, unless he came back with a, "I got stuck in a monster meeting at work", or something like that. But even the excuses would wear thin after, like, three. I just don't have the mental energy to spend decoding the lag time between texts or whether your excuses are legit.
That has continued to a general complacency about texting in general. I don't know what all the texts mean. I spend all day on the computer and the last thing I wanna do is spend all night looking at my phone. Since this new attitude, I use texting mainly for quick exchanges like restaurant suggestions, directions, addresses, clarification of meeting times, etc. And with my bf, who rarely has his phone at work, I generally just text occasionally, because I know he won't get it soon and if he's home, he might not respond soon, because he's probably playing video games.
Bascially…I prefer in person conversations personally…That's what I am use to anyways…. If I like someone, i will text back immediately. If he is ok I really don't care if I forget to text right back. If am I interested in someone and he makes a habit of texting me when he feels like it, I know that he isn't as interested in me as I would like him too. Now if he apologizes for taking forever then I believe he is busy and I wont trip.
I'm starting to hate texting. Especially when it becomes the only source of communication. If I don't text back asap it means I'm busy. It does Not mean I don't like you. If I don't text back at all, ever, or if you text me and I reply back "who is this? I have been guilty of that too. And sometimes when they tell me the name, I still cant figure out who it is. My recent post Best Black Films of the 90s. I don't trip off of response time unless its a day and I know the person usually responds fairly quickly.
But when I don't hear from people my first instinct is to worry and wonder if they're ok, Not get angry and think "wth are they so busy with that they couldn't take 10 seconds to reply to my text. Sometimes I may not get to reply til the afternoon or they may not get a chance to replay until the afternoon so we text back "good-afternoon now" lol and its funny.
Chillax, it's not always that serious. Many people are legitimately busy with other work or family priorities. Patience is a virtue! For me there's no set rule. I can be horrible when it comes to phone calls and text messaging. For people who take offense to that I shrug and move on. My mom, my guy and my best friend all understand…all that matters.
While dating there were plenty of times when I didn't respond quickly enough and was met with "well forget you too" or "so I take it you're not all that interested". Whatever dude, if you were that pressed you'd call anyway.