You can even use this as an excuse to ask them about something other than their jobs-- it's only fair, since you can't talk about yours. And their jobs are hopefully not the most interesting thing about them, anyway. If you wear earrings, can you swop them out after work and before the event, changing into some that don't look too office-y?
With short hair, earrings can make a big difference in how an outfit works, but it's a very easy change.
I was reading over my husband's shoulder and couldn't resist. I started having better dates and met my husband when I made my number one goal to have fun on every single date. I asked myself, "What would be a fun date for ME? On a date, what would a fun response be to the question "What do you do? For example, "I work at at the state department, where I get to meet new people every day and my building is next to a bakery that makes THE best kolaches in all of Chicago. I have one every day before I go to work. Remember, dating should be fun and not the miserable and terrified "Do I measure up" dance everyone makes it into.
If you are having fun then no matter what happens the date was not a waste of time. I only met my husband when I quit accepting guys who were more into fear than fun. BE that girl, the one who is an admin and also is kind, a hero to her friends and neighbors, sparkles with energy and looks at the world with a "why not?
And you might already be that girl - I am just telling you what worked for me. It sounds crazy, but I met my husband 2 weeks after I decided to just relax and have fun on dates and only date people who were fun people to me. Ok, I humbly apologize for going on, and if I have come across as a "smug married" I am even more sorry.
I will try again to communicate better next time. But, good luck ; posted by Rabarberofficer at 7: You want to redirect the conversation so you can highlight other things that are interesting about you, not talking so much about work. Mention at least one thing that you like to do which could conceivably be done on a date with someone else. Come up with something positive to say about the work you do. Sort of a sound bite. Also, unless you are barred from saying what agency you work for and your general work hours and schedule, say something about that.
That you can't discuss a lot of your work due to confidentiality should not even be coming up on a speed date, that's more detail than you need to go into over that length of time. A few sentences about work at the most, then segue into what you do when you aren't working. If you want the best results, plan ahead and wear your most flattering work outfit, or even change into a more date like top in the restroom on your way out of work.
Put your coat on over that if you don't want to show off the change in outfit at work. Figure out what your most flattering features are and show them off. For many big women, a properly fitted bra and a slightly low cut top will get you there. You might want to wear a different bra as well if you are changing your blouse. Once you are there, relax and have fun. Best of luck to you! It might actually help for you to worry more about whether you like the guy you're talking to.
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Not only is that important, but it's a better mindset generally for seeming confident and not seeming insecure. You also need to discuss work comfortably. You don't need the best job, but you can't grimace and act uncomfortable. You work for agency and can't discuss much of what you do. You're a secretary and it gives you a lot of free time to read. You're reminded of Office Space and hey how about that new art exhibit. I don't think the answer really matters, but how you say it does.
Selling: Think Speed Dating (8 Tips for Sales Success)
FWIW, I think you're probably at the biggest disadvantage in speed dating compared to other kinds of trying to date. The format invites snap judgments. If you're not conventionally attractive, that doesn't help. If you're someone who grows on people over time and doesn't make a great first impression, that doesn't help. You need to work on these things as best you can. I completely agree with J. I went speed dating once in my life, just for fun, and although I consider myself open minded and non-judgemental, I found myself making snap decisions about everyone within 30 seconds of meeting them.
That's really what speed dating promotes actually - snap judgements.
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I think you sound lovely actually but you've admitted you're not the best at making first impressions, so I find it interesting that speed dating is the way you've chosen to find dates. However, to answer your actual question in how to make a good impression at a speed dating event, I would say that you need to avoid small talk at all costs. Jump straight in with a weird question that will catch someone's attention and at least make them remember you.
It should also start a fun conversation that will hopefully help you to open up as well. What's your favourite sandwich? If you had all the money in the world but still had to have some kind of job, what would you choose to do? Where in the world did you have your favourite meal? Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot? Why did you pick those particular shoes tonight? I think you've picked a good venue if reading is your thang - hopefully you'll meet Mr Right!
First off, ignore people who tell you that you're at a disadvantage because you're fat. I'm fat, and I have no trouble meeting people and hitting it off. It's not your fault and you're not damaged goods because of your body, and people who say you are have missed an opportunity to examine their assumptions and how they might be part of the problem. Second, my biggest advice here is to make a point to smile and make eye contact. You can easily avoid talking about your job by just smiling while you say you can't or even don't want to!
5 Tips for Successful Speed Dating : MCU VO!CE
Your job isn't you, so if you just smile and say, "Oh, it's just a boring office job; but what I do for fun is awesome: The next thing is to come with questions. People like to talk about themselves, and if you ask questions about things that interest you or are important to you, you'll steer the direction of the conversation in a way you're more likely to have interesting things to say also. You don't have to have a creepy grin on all the time, but remembering to smile makes you seem more approachable and friendly.
I dated when I was at my heaviest lbs. The weight matters and is a turn off for some people, but the way I see it is that everyone has something that will make them unattractive to someone. Maybe they only date brunettes. Maybe they don't like people taller than themselves. Maybe they only date people who wear ironic t-shirts. My point is that no one is attractive to everyone.
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So with that knowledge in hand, confidence is a big selling feature. Not arrogance or conceit. No dismissing or downplaying your abilities and accomplishments. Wear clothes that make you feel pretty. Seriously, confidence goes far in such things.
Also, people like to think themselves interesting, so if you act extra interested in what they have to say that may help though it could slide into insincere territory. That said, dude, speed dating? If you know you don't make a good first impression, and if you feel you are at a disadvantage in the physical appearance department, then speed dating is not the way to go.
Maybe the book-ish one coming up is a good fit, so feel free to prove me wrong. Good question for the book one could be "How do you feel about e-books vs. Do you think the shift to ebooks and ereaders has changed the reading experience? My suggestion is to look to joining clubs and getting involved socially. Meet more people, do more things. Join a book club, for example. Starting my own book club was absolutely key to my starting a relationship with my now-husband.
Women make an effort to impress — so should you. You get one chance to make a first impression — make it work in your favour.
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At my last speed dating event I was horrified at what some guys chose to wear. Denim shorts with black running shoes and socks no matter how hot the weather is will never impress women! Being worried you might say the wrong thing leads to saying the wrong thing! If you are uncomfortable, you will make the women feel uncomfortable. Women love someone who is mischievous, teasing and who makes them laugh.
Know what to talk about. Stand out from the guys who have boring conversations. Work on some great questions and have something to say when asked what you like to do in your spare time. Think funny news stories and weave these into the conversation. Light, fun conversation works best as you only have 5 minutes. Create intrigue and engage her emotions.
Stay away from logical and factual information. This will make her want to know more about you. Women want to feel like you are interested in them. November 2, Ghosted or Broken Up With? Relationship Services Services to improve your dating success. See all upcoming events. Register for Email Updates Find out first about new events and articles.