Dating after 40 in nyc

Forty-somethings have to find someone who not only meets all the something requirements but is not all the things that decades of ex-lovers were.

My list started with: They must not have a fear of intimacy, be a liar, be a cheater, be a drunk, be boring, be broke, be un-therapized, be selfish in bed, have bad breath, hate their job, wear dirty socks to bed -- my list went on for another two pages. At the bars, I had the pleasure of watching as a slew of women I was old enough to have birthed paraded before me.

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Gay bars are just as bad as the straight ones. I felt like a guidance counselor on prom night.

Packing a protein bar and some dried apricots helped soak up the alcohol but certainly didn't enhance my hip factor. It didn't seem too hard: Put up a profile of yourself and find a title that says it all.

New Yorkers who find love after 40 — and beyond

After 16 dates with 11 women, here are the highlights: Bernard here , a woman who would rather have eaten glass than make eye contact, a woman who said she was 47 but was well past collecting her first Social Security check, and a woman who made Clint Eastwood pre-chair seem a little femme. I was becoming what you might call jaded. I was no closer to finding love but a whole lot closer to finding an imaginary friend I might talk to in public.


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Ultimately, I did go on a date with a ginger-haired lady who did not turn out to be the love of my life but did turn out to be a safe, kindhearted person to spend time with. After our split, I went to Provincetown, Mass. There I ran into a therapist with whom I'd gone on a few failed Internet dates, and she introduced me to her good friend L.

That was more than three years ago, and L and I are still going strong. As it turns out, we have lived five blocks from each other since the '90s and probably walked past each other dozens of times over the years. We needed to go to Massachusetts to meet, through someone I met on the Internet.

How to Meet 40 plus men in NYC

So I guess in a roundabout way I met my girlfriend on the Internet, kinda, sorta. That's too much pressure!


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  4. Many single New Yorkers of other faiths encounter this at Thanksgiving and Christmas. But here in New York, some religious leaders say the trend toward older marriage has positive aspects. He invited Marie, and decided that she was the woman for him.

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    Several years after that, though, he became single again. Marie died of lung cancer in At a dance club. She blogs at heatherrobinson. Read Next No, Mr.