No Contact Rule Guide. What it means is that you are going to be smart and fist focus on your own recovery, while at the same time increase your own value as he perceives you. So how does this principle work? After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has fallen for a new girlfriend.
The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing. You are going to want to contact your ex very badly and you probably are not going to have many good things to say. It only hurts you inside and hurts your chances. Sometimes, trying to keep the hope alive that you can get your ex boyfriend back is unfair to you. Certain relationship situations can evolve to a place where working to get him back could be a big mistake, maybe bigger than getting involved with him in the first place.
So when we have situations where an breakup has happened and an ex boyfriend discards you for another girlfriend both swiftly and with an air of arrogance and insensitivity, you need to think long and hard before going after a guy that may very well only hurt you very deeply again. Believe it or not, how your ex boyfriend got his new girlfriend matters in a very big way. I am going to outline five situations for you, two of these situations are going to focus on guys that would be worthwhile to pursue and three of the situations are going to be focusing on guys that you should not be trying to get back.
You broke up with your boyfriend, then realized you wanted him back but found out that he got a new girlfriend after the breakup. The breakup was clean and you handled it well and he took it well, except he was clearly damaged by your decision. If you are in this situation, then you are free to go ahead and try to get your ex back of you genuinely feel the problems you both experienced can be overcome. The relationship he is in now could be a rebound or it could flame out. It is also possible he is playing the jealousy card. He broke up with you and perhaps thinking that the grass is greener, decided to try out the field.
Again, this is a really common situation and you may discover his new found lover is far from the right match. So it would be worth going forward with your action plan. He left you for another girl. That hurts a lot. But then you learn later that he has been cheating on you the entire time the two of you were together. Then he says he wants to still sleep with you, though he is still with this other woman. Was he ever in love with you?
Were you his rebound for this other girlfriend in his life? Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here. This guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. The two of you fought a lot. You were never convinced if you could trust him. The relationship did not last very long.
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You both went your on ways, pretty disgusted with each other, though the sex was great. In fact, it was so good, you both ended up together in bed shortly after the breakup. But now you have learned your ex boyfriend is dating your sister. In this case, my advice is hands off. This guy is already demonstrated he is trouble and unreliable. Despite the awesome sex, you are far better off taking your awesome self on another path and find another guy. Your ex or your best friend. Neither of them realize that you are on to them. What do you do? In this case, it is a sort of no win situation as everybody is losing something.
So you confront them both. Then you provide proof and everything collapses from there. Now everyone is on their on, with plenty of confused, hurt, and hard feelings to go around. My advise to you is to keep it that way. Your ex bf crossed a big line. And so did your best friend. So I recommend you just utilize an extended no contact period and allow for the chips to fall where they may, but keeping the focus on your own self recovery.
This section will explore some of the most important steps to getting back with an ex who has a new girlfriend. Admittedly you are at a bit of a disadvantage since he has moved on, or has he? Not contacting your ex and is new girl is a must. Not only should you have implemented the No Contact Rule but you need to stay strong.
Especially if you came out of a relatively serious relationship. It may be entirely possible that your ex is not as comfortable in his new relationship as you may have thought. It happens all the time. This is one of the symptoms of what everyone likes to call a rebound relationship. This leads us to our next step…. Rebound relationships are relationships that usually form right after a breakup. So, the odds are in your favor.
Just make sure you keep your cool while he is dating his new girlfriend. It is entirely possible that the further away from a breakup that your ex boyfriend gets, the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. Basically, instead of remembering all the bad things like fights, disagreements or whatever caused your breakup he will remember all the good things, particularly when he is constantly forced to compare you against the realities of his new girlfriend.
His notion that she would be so great for him, may likely not pan out, thereby increasing your value. This can definitely work in your favor. This is probably the most important truth and ex recovery strategy of them all. You should not be sitting idly by. You are going to be using this time to heal and striving to become the best version of YOU. And you are going to see to it that you ex boyfriend notices all these wonderful changes.
So too will his new girlfriend. So how do you win back your ex who is shacking up with another girl, someone of his supposed dreams? So you are going to employ some little jealousy traps and many other value building activities and tactics. It is not always easy to want someone back so badly and see them in another relationship with someone else.
I put this section together to give you some advice on how to handle what you are feeling. Sometimes men need to go out with someone new to realize just how good they had it with you. Here is a rundown on the kind of thoughts and questions many women have when dealing with an ex who has found him someone else. Here is what you may be thinking and why its OK. Just know that these kinds of relationships with a new lady often have a short fuse. Give it at least 3 months before you draw any meaningful conclusions. Get busy with life.
Appearances, particularly after a breakup, can be misleading. So give time a chance to unwind the truth of their relationship. What you want to do is have a plan to get yourself noticed by him in a positive way. He left you for a reason. Maybe he is not the right man for you. Perhaps you still want him back. I would caution you about remaining a real good friend if you want him again, because it will send him conflicting signals that he might still be able to be with you and have casual sex.
Its better to employ a strategy of No Contact and explore that angle first, before you opt to be just a friend. Your game plan should not change. Certainly, things might be somewhat more awkward, but there could be some positives you can take from this situation. Also, there may be times when you see them together at the work setting before or after work. You can use this opportunity to make a classy appearance, showcasing your wonderful, happy looking self. That seems awful convenient for him. So how do you deal with being dumped for someone else, then he comes crawling back?
Should you just take him back in, forgiving your ex for his foolishness? Of course, exactly what you do depends on your history and other circumstances, but I would caution you to move slowly. If you have not had adequate time to deal with the pain and hurt of what he did to you, tell him you need time. And if you choose to restart the relationship, do so like you are dating for the first time. Do it in small steps.
No sex on the first or second dates. He needs to demonstrate he regrets his decision. Try your best not to obsess over his situation and this new girl. Go out and have fun. Basically, just ramp up your social life so you can focus on the most important thing, yourself. Sometimes women have a tendency to believe that their ex started dating someone new because of something that they did wrong or something that they could not provide. You are not a robot. This particular piece of advice probably should have gone higher on this page.
Sometimes a select group of women will want their ex boyfriend back, just because someone else has them. If you find that you are in this situation, be very careful about proceeding to get him back or ruining his efforts. You may need to go back and do some serious soul searching on whether or not you want him back for a legitimate reason.
It is only human nature to want to compare yourself to the new hopefully temporary girlfriend. Are you better looking? Do you have a better personality? Comparing yourself to the new girl is not productive. You only hurt yourself in the process and that is not going to help your cause at all. Just know that you have your own special qualities that no one can duplicate. So far this page has really been about personal things that you can do to get your ex back if he has a new squeeze.
Now, I want you to realize that I laid this page out that way on purpose. The fact of the matter is that a certain amount of this is out of your control. I mean, if you have found a way to mind control someone please let me know because I could put that skill to good use! However, in this section I am briefly going to discuss certain actions you can take to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back. Remember, these actions should only be taken after you have completed the 30 Day No Contact Rule.
No one is perfect and this is especially true of relationships. Your job is to keep an eye out for his troubles with his new girl and be there to provide support and remind him how good he had it with you. At the right time, test the waters with your ex boyfriend via text messaging. There are a whole set of rules and regulations that go with texting an ex. I am not going to go into those here but if you want to know them then please visit this page.
If you are on good terms with your ex or you have tested the waters via text messages and gotten a positive response, be very wary about trashing his new girlfriend. It may be tempting, but however strong that temptation is you are going to have to avoid it. Remember, you are becoming the Ungettable girl.
How to Cope When Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend - SheBlossoms
When we started dating he has had a girlfriend for 2 years and he left her for me and told me that I was much better than her. Now I tried no contact period and during it he was always telling me how he wanted to be friends with me but I said I needed time. Our no contact period finished when we played spin the bottle in the dorm because we live together. Then he texted me first and we texted for like 10 days and he told how we should play it again.
On January 1st he stopped texting me like I have never existed and I discovered that he has bought a present for his ex and that he comments all of her posts. What should I do? I know it hurts when the guy your care about goes back and forth on what he seemingly wants. I think you should consider implementing No Contact and utilize my Program see home page so you understand how the whole post breakup recovery process works.
D refused my decision to stay with my new relationship. E and I were in touch periodically, and he was still very interested in a relationship and a future with me. Our relationship was great and we were very good together. However, not even a month before he was telling me he wanted a future with me and that getting back together was best for us. He views all of my Snapchat stories and will strike up a conversation if I run into him at work.
I miss him terribly, and want him back. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much! Take a look at some of my resources that can show you how to approach this. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago right before I left for a six-week trip. I tried not to focus on the heartbreak too much during my vacation, but once I returned in the beginning of November, everything came rushing back. I found out he started dating someone else mid-November and is still currently seeing her. I am happy for you that you were able to use your alone time to see a bigger picture and appreciate other things in life.
One can move on, with completely writing the other person out of their life. The future is always moving with different possibilities, so one never knows quite where it will lead. But doing those things that bring you fulfillment and moving forward with life is important. I recently ended things with D to find that E is in a new relationship.
I believe he still has strong feelings for me. Any ideas on what I can do? Hi Allison…your ex seems stuck in uncertainty. If you are following my Program you will be upping the ante on your value to make it even more difficult for him to look past you! Would appreciate your advice. We live in same apartment complex. He was separated going through divorce when we met. Started out great we were together for 6 months. But divorce proceedings got stressful and we broke up after few attempts of trying.
Been 5 months but he would try to contact me we talked in between. Felt he did try to reach out and said he does think about me. We recently were bumping into each other. I called to say we should meet clear the air. Well we spoke he said he has a gf now. But wedid talk about us.
He said he does miss us how I could just pop to his as I lived in the same block and we would watch movies our shows. He did say our relationship was intense he loved me. He complimented my hair said I looked good. But does still think of me. He did say he was hurt I put up a pic of a guy I dated 2 weeks after our break up. He even described the pic and the guy. He did say are you with that guy the bf? I lied said yes cuz I was jealousof his gf. Anyways so Chris do I still have a chance to get back? We are keeping in touch through text and he did say it was nice meeting me.
How can I get him back? I know he still loves me. It looks like you have been thru a lot. Just think little steps with the texting and work toward a causal meet up. Hey, So my ex had a new girlfriend 2 days after the break up and I was devestaded of course. One week after this he was at the airport and went to his home country over the holidays and asked me to come to the airport to give me my stuff back.
He hugged me the whole time, cried, touched my hair and laughed with me. Which made me hopes. After he went into the gate he wrote me that he wished he would have kissed me and that he already misses touching and seeing me. So his new girlfriend is also in Portugal and since then they are the overly happy couple. Posting pics and doing things he never did with me. In that time he contacted me 2 times.
The first time I ignored him and he blocked me directly. The second time I got weak but told him right after that I need time for myself and asked him to respect that. Everytime he wrote me, he posted happy pictures of them together after. What can i think of this. Do i still have a Chance? Im in NC at the moment. But hearing my friends tell me what he posted etc hurt me really bad because even if we had a relationship status he never posted pictures with me. Why is he doing all of this?
Should I keep going or is it hopeless because they seem so happy. I am sorry this is a struggle for you. You need to be first focus on your emotional health. Not sure why he is behaving like this. Could be lots of reasons. The silver lining is it gives you some insight into how he is as a person.
I have a lot of great Podcasts and videos that can help you in the healing department. Check out my Private Facebook Support Group as well! He first broke up last April due to a huge fight days before the break up which went on for days and his friends interfered. I found out that they have a groupchat where they were talking about me, badmouthing me and even introducing a girl to him. I got hurt and mad seeing this that I confronted him about it.
I was totally devastated and was a complete mess. He said that he want to finish our relationship, he is no longer happy, he fell out of love and that he needed space. A lot of hurtful words were exchanged and I did all the mistakes possible. After a few days he agreed to continue our relationship but nothing changed because he remained close to communicating and fixing the problem with me so we argued a lot. Come June he said that he really want to stop. We still talk and see each other after that.
He was hot and cold with me but remained sweet and affectionate but distant. I was completely desperate and needy. I started limited contact August and continued with complete NC by September for 40 days. After NC by mid October, I tried to contact him and he was responding really positively. It was always me who initiated though. There were times that our conversations leads to him sexting me.
When we meet there were sexual advancements but no sex, I think it happened 2x. When I was sick he took care of me and I can still feel that I was still there, through his hugs and soft kisses. By 2nd week of November, he was still replying to my texts but when we need to meet because I need to get stuff from his house, he was cold and distant. I was open to him about it but not in a desperate or needy way. After that he started ignoring me completely and it turned out that he was out of the country.
I sent a couple of texts the day after but got no replies so I backed off and started NC again by the 3rd week of Nov. He started deleting and untagging our pictures together on social media. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to approach this? If you've already completed NC, the fact that she still doesn't see a future could either mean she hasn't fully let go of the negative emotions from the breakup, or that she really doesn't see a future with you at the moment although it's clear that she still has feelings for you. You could consider replying and slowly working your way towards winning her back by giving her more space, or decide to walk away from things.
Okay not looking for advice but would just like to comment that your advice worked too well! After 3 months of doing me, getting a new car, getting a new job, losing 20 lbs and looking and feeling great, my ex came back and said he was over his rebound and wanted to get back together. We talked for about 5 days and he said he thought I deserved better than him and I was doing so great he didn't want to interrupt that - and went back to the rebound chick. Honestly it was very helpful though - made me realize that he's childish with commitment problems and I deserve better than whatever he is serving.
Thanks for the advice! We're really proud of what you've achieved and we hope that these changes have made your life much better. All the best to you! My ex broke up with me. I just moved out Jan.
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He says she means nothing to him but yet he spends every weekend with her including Christmas and New Year's. He said it's not cheating because he been told me he wasn't happy. Should I just forget about him? If the break up occurred prior to the start of him seeing another girl, then yes it wasn't cheating. However, if he had started seeing that person while you were still together, and even living under the same roof, he isn't worth it since he doesn't seem to understand the context of cheating or what it means to be in a relationship.
I was with this girl for about to years. It was a long distance relationship and we felt we were made for each other. She always wanted to communicate with me and she told me how much she loved me. We argued sometimes and she'll block on social media me but later come back telling me how she missed me and liked me. Just recently she told me she didn't wanna be in a relationship with me and wanted to be alone and that she doesn't like me.
She wants to be just friends but I really love this girl and I want her. She doesn't text me as she used to and when I text her she doesn't reply. It's like she doesn't care about me anymore. I did the no contact and got in touch with her, she's just been cold. If no contact did not work, you might want to think about why she may be acting this way. It may be necessary to go about no contact once more for a longer period before contacting her again. However, the alternative to that if you aren't able to cope emotionally is to be fair to yourself and consider walking away.
I really would want to walk away, take my mind off her but I love her and I'm always thinking about her. I've started the no contact again but I don't think she considers me a part of her life now. I just wanna get over with this whole thing. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. We agreed to focus on improving ourselves and not date or hookup with anyone else in the 2 weeks. Well he admitted to me he went on a few dates with a girl 8th grade ex gf When he is drunk he would send me photos of them together. But we still have been talking and seeing each other frequently.
But he is also still taking her out on dates and talking to her. It just hurts so much he is so quickly enjoying dates and time with another girl. It sounds like a rebound especially since you guys were together for a period of time, and he's currently going through a novel experience by dating someone new. I encourage that you follow through with no contact, work on improving yourself, not being his emotional bolster to turn to whenever he needs someone, and give him the space to realize that he's going through a rebound. Therefore, I can say that this does work.
The response actually surprised me because she immediately suggested to meet up face to face, even is she is uncertain whether it will make a difference she says, but it seems like the right thing to do. The month of absence for me was complete hell, I was literally waiting daily to hear from her, but then wrote myself after 30 days, and received a reply.
What is very strange however, is that the day after she replied "we should meet up face to face", she blocked me from her facebook until then it was all normal and visible , not unfriended me, but I can't see any posts anymore that are not public. This is strange, and I don't understand this part. I hope that meeting her in real will bring some answers, as the break was very sudden and very strange, from everything great to a sudden complete stop. I've read on your site that it might be that some exes don't want to upset the other in case they might want to come back, but I do fear the worst scenario, that there is someone else, let's hope this is not the case.
Would also be a bit soon, after 30 days In any case, whereas she said out of the blue "we will never see each other again" around new year, wanting to meet in person is progress. Now I am not strong enough to project any strong security yet, so I hope I won't be too emotional meeting her. I know we should be all manly and have made a change, but the truth is I've been too devastated for a month to make much progress, only thinking: If you have any tips for this first meet, for which I am very nervous feels like meeting her for the first time all over again and what the block in fb linked to that means, pls let me know Hi, im 22 my ex is 23 years old.
He was my fiance for two years and we have dated 7 years. We thought about getting married this year but few years was not good for us. By the way we were waiting till marriage but still did things.. I was working because of our future, he wanted attention, and intimacy i told him we can if he wants to, but he wanted to wait, sometimes i needed attention, because he was playing games..
So i throwed my ring and told him its over. But he didnt do anything he was tired, before that he was always telling me that im the one, he dont want to lose me. So we had a break, we wanted to start over but the thing was We've met 3 times and everything was there, we were flirting, talking, laughing but when we were talking about relashionship he was on phone smiling, i didnt show but i was jealous. But messages from him and chating was great, we were talking like we used to with romantic emojis and that he miss me..
He told me he dont want to get hurt again and that he will act like everythings perfect and will not show his feelings anymore. What I suppose to do? How do I get back with him? If you were together with him for such a long period, and he is capable of dating other people so quickly, it either goes to show that he may have lost interest in the relationship a while back hence his priorities of meeting friends and playing games over you , or he just doesn't want to deal with the negative emotions of dealing with a break up.
The new girl he's seeing is probably a rebound however, considering the time you've been with him and that's also why it may be hard for him to let go of her so soon, since it's providing for a new experience which he has not had in a long time. We dated for about 3 months before getting together for 6 months. During the dating period we were really happy together. However, as this was my first relationship, I didn't maintain it well enough to make her happy each day like texting her as and when I'm free.
We had an arguement and it got worse after. All she wanted was an apology, my time and attention. I regreted all that has happened. Soon after she initiated to break up as I didn't try to understand and solve the issue within the two weeks. Two months after, I realize she is dating someone new, much older but he seems to be experienced enough to text her every single day including morning and night. I'm now on NC and not sure what I can do next.
It is really hard to initiate conversation with her as she is a loyal girl who sticks to a guy at a time. She will most likely ignore my message if I text. What else can I do? In this scenario, it could either lead to 2 outcomes. The first is that if the relationship you shared was meaningful, there's a likelihood that the guy she's dating now is a rebound and would eventually end. The second and worse of the two outcomes is that she has moved on to something better and isn't going to look back, because it was your first relationship and didn't maintain it well enough it's no fault of yours.
Either way, there's not much you could do right now, except pick yourself up, and focus on NC as well as moving on. If an opportunity presents itself again in the future and you feel something for her still, perhaps you could give it another shot then. How long do the rebound relationship usually last? What if the new guy is really experienced and treats her well enough of the things I didn't do? Is she still feeling emotional about our relationship or that she has moved on to the new guy? I only managed to understand the whole stituation after the break up and it gave me a lesson learnt.
I really do hope that I can get her back together and do the right things for her to be happy. It is a torture to be waiting and thinking each day when will they eventually end. A word of advice would be to not sit around and wait for them to eventually end, because there's really no telling when it will end. In this particular situation, I hate to break it to you, but he may or may not actually be a rebound considering that you had no prior relationship experience, so there was a limit to the impression you may have left her with.
I suggest focusing on picking yourself up, and even trying to move on for the time being - you might want to consider dating again in the near future to gain more exposure as well. If she happens to break up with her current partner in the future, and an opportunity presents itself, you could always consider your options then. I commented like a month back about my ex breaking up with me and moving onto a girl who is He is 24 and I am So it's been 3 days past the 30 day NC period and still haven't started any contact again.
I didn't do so well in the no contact period. I was motivated in the beginning and still am, have been going consistently to the gym, reading motivational books, but have days where I am crying for hours. Now they are becoming more often. Also 2 weeks ago, my ex who blocked me on everything did this thing where he followed and unfollowed me on snapchat after an hour and then the next day followed me didn't follow back at all but then posted pics with her that night on instagram.
I also found out he unblocked me on all social media and even my number but made his instagram private. I'm getting too into details but I thought it was weird because I know he blocks contact with exes and apparently he's so happy with her. They haven't posted anything on instagram since that post like 2 weeks ago but all the posts are still there. I'm still confused and really let this get to me in the 2nd half of NC. I'm also really hesitant about contacting again. Do you have any advice on where to go from here? Social media has the tendency to present a very false state of truth, where people post pictures or snaps of being happy or traveling the world, but actually have many issues they do not show.
Just like how you upload snaps of going out with your friends and looking happy, your ex might be doing the same. However, if he's seen all your posts and unfollowed you after, he might be curious to see how you've been doing, and may even start to feel confused. That being said, he isn't about to just break up with his girlfriend immediately and jump back into your arms. Time is still needed for events to unfold, but for the meantime, you should focus on why you've been feeling worse lately and crying more, instead of waiting for him or thinking too much about the situation.
The likelihood of her being in a rebound relationship is dependent on the type and length of relationship the both of you shared. If things were serious and there was a meaningful relationship, it's possible that she is going through a rebound. But you also have to consider why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, because that would explain further how she feels about you. I would recommend letting her relationship run it's course, and you shouldn't interfere with it, as it may push her further away. In the meantime, focus on the potential issues you had as a partner, and work on improving yourself.
That way, when you decide to contact her again, at least there's a significant change that she may notice from you, which further sparks interest. My ex boyfriend and I dated for nearly 5 years. I was 18 when we first started dating. We had an amazing relationship, we both knew we wanted to be together as we discussed marriage and kids. However, over 6 months ago my feelings seemed to have changed for him, I told him about it and broke up with him We were great for 2 months however his family decided to cut me off because of what I did and treated me poorly.
I lost all my confidence, I lost direction and I just knew he could do better than me. So I broke it off with him again and this was just over 4 months ago. He was devastated, he tried so hard to get me back in the first month as he told me I was the love of his life. However, when we met up one night he told me he has slept with someone at his work and basically his feelings changed towards me. I stopped contact for 7 weeks. I heard nothing from him, so I contacted him because I found out he lost his job.
We started talking again, we went for lunch and he was shocked in how well I was looking so he was messaging me a lot to hang etc He told me he missed me. He kept snap chatting me since then and I found out he was seeing the same girl he slept with from work through mutual friends as he was taking her to coffee shops and shops my friends work at. I asked him about it and he said he has no feelings for her at all and that hanging with someone because he was miserable made it easier. He is constantly with her and they were together NYE.
I decided to cut him off social media along with his family. What do you think this relationship is? Because prior to cutting him off he was sill occasionally talking to me and always snap chatting me. As he told me that if I stop talking to him there would be no hope for us in the future.
I feel so confused. It could very well be a rebound relationship as he doesn't want to personally deal with the emotions of losing you, and decides to take comfort in someone else. If he is cutting you off right now, you shouldn't linger around and wait for him as you've tried reaching out once only for him to sleep with you then go back to dating the other girl. Hi I broke up with my ex on 20th December and i was really confused The thing is that i was talking to this guy, that i thought i liked, on a social media ig and even tho my ex told me he deleted my account from his phone, he lied and a few days ago, he saw the conversation and got angry and hurt But soon after i saw him doing the same thing, even worse.
He was flirting with another girl and he was acting the way he used to act with me when we were together. Right now, the best thing to do is to give him some space to cool off. He is acting this way clearly because he is upset at your actions and wants revenge. Never let that get the better of you, and just let him know that you're sorry once more before applying no contact. I'm 19 years old, my ex is My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2,5 years. We broke up 6 months ago. One month after our break-up we kissed again at a festival and it was quite obvious that she wanted to get together again.
She wasn't drunk when we spoke about this. However I wanted to slow things down a little bit just to give us some time to think about everything. Right after the break-up I wasn't really panicking or anything just because my friends and family took me out a lot and there was never a really a moment for me to actually think about what had happened.
The main reason why we broke up it was a mutual decision was the fact that I didn't give her much attention near the end of our relationship, as I was in my first year at university and I was quite concentrated on my work. I didn't know well how to manage my time, so we sort of lost connection. About 4 months after we broke up we started talking again and I realised that I still loved her.
However, she told she had had sex with someone who then turned out to be a player. We met a couple of times before I found this article and I told her that I still loved her. She said that she was over our relationship. A couple of days ago, a friend of mine told me that she really didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and that she was interested in someone else who apparently doesn't even look at her in real life.
I've been doing the NC-rule for about 25 days now. One day I accidently bumped into her at the supermarket and I didn't say anything to her so now she thinks I'm mad at her which a part of me is. How should I consider the guy she's interested in and should I stick to the regular 5 step-plan from this website? At this point, you should take what things are happening at face value. You could always start off as friends first after your NC and just slowly build a connection back up if you genuinely still want her back. But never put pressure on her to make a choice since right now, both of you are not together.
We got to know each other really well, had common goals, and were even talking about marriage since that was very important to him I was hesitant because he would talk about getting married 2 years from now which was early for me. We're both in school so things started to get stressful a month in.
We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. We started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn't feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it's like we hadn't fought. It felt like he really wanted to make it work. He did mention this classmate he worked on a project with and went to her apartment. Both his exes cheated on him so he had trust issues so he said he would never do that to me or go behind my back.
I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on I told my ex I wasn't interested but he didn't like it. Do you have any advice? It seems like he's trying to get back at you, and this girl is probably a rebound that was emotionally there for him during the times you guys were fighting. If he really has nothing in common with her, they would not last. Also, based on what you told me and how fast they jumped right into things, it would seem like she's most likely a rebound.
Focus on your life, improve yourself, even go on other dates. If you guys shared a meaningful relationship, it's unlikely that he would get over you so quickly. I'm just so confused. He just didn't seem like the type of guy to do that, especially since he would say I'd never do that to anyone since both of his exes cheated.
But it was only like 2. I don't get it. I'm nervous because he started saying things like it wasn't love for us even though he thought it was and that we weren't compatible. In the months of getting to know each other he would say we were a team and we had a lot in common. Hi, I posted earlier, but I don't think it actually posted bc I can't find my post now. He said he loved me, believes he is in love with me, and that I'm his best and only friend but I deserve everything I want and he doesn't think he's the guy to give it to me.
I'm the longest relationship he's had as an adult, the only woman he's said I love you to, and the only woman he's lived with. He has not had a serious adult relationship. However, 4 days later he was sleeping with a woman from work who is the exact opposite of everything he's ever said he's wanted. She 37, mother of 4, divorced, uneducated, smoker, and a truck driver at the same dead end job he's at and hates so much and trying to leave when he's done with his master's. He's explained that she's nice and he's not just sleeping with her.
That he likes her despite the ridicule he receives at work. He told me he prefers me over her and that she doesn't even come close to me so I am not to compare myself. We agreed I would move out in June, so he has since moved out and he found a rental close to her. She is already posting on facebook that he's the one. Meanwhile, every time he comes to maintain the property he tells her that I'm not here and he proceeds to hug, kiss, and spank me playfully. I told him if he really liked her then he would be honest with her.
He agreed that he doesn't want to be that kind of man for anyone. It sounds like he got a case of cold feet, but I'm not sure. He seems to be doing everything in his power to make it work with this woman who is so obviously a poor replacement of me but also an excellent distraction from him having to deal with our breakup and lovers and best friends. In fact, he still admits that I'm still his best friend and he can't talk to her as openly and without defense as he can with me.
I don't want to be the other woman in his relationship, but is this a rebound even if he's trying to do everything right and take her wishes into consideration? Also, am I being wishful in assuming he got a case of cold feet? Do I proceed with no contact? I've been doing my part in bettering myself. Every time he sees me he tells me how great I look and that our breakup suites me. I've told him I went on a date to which he showed jealousy and admitted it but then shook it off saying he can't really say anything considering what he's doing himself.
Is there hope for us? There might be hope for you, but not right now. If that relationship he's in is a rebound which it sounds like , then you should not continue to stay hopeful in one place but at least move on a little, so that you don't constantly think of it. I would suggest proceeding with NC and just in general, moving on with life for the moment. I appreciate the feedback and I'll continue to work on myself.
Actually, I'm feeling better about myself everyday. It wasn't a bad breakup and we both remained respectful and civil with each other. There's love there, I'm just not sure whay kind of love it is, romantic or friendship. But I'll move forward as though it's done and let him figure out what he wants in life. Meanwhile, I'll just get back to being who I was before I dedicated my life to him and his well - being. Hey Ryan, I was with my ex for 9 years. He proposed in may and things seemed fine. Maybe a little stressful with wedding planning and me being in school and working full time.
Then around mid october out of nowhere he states he's unhappy and he's been unhappy for a while and that I treated him like shit for 9 years. I know I can be snappy at times and I begged for the first couple of weeks to give me another chance and to work on each other but he would just say that he gave me so many chances. In the back of my mind I always had this gut feeling about this girl that he was working with.
Since last november I told him I felt uncomfortable with him being friends with her. Last December someone actually made a fake facebook account and messaged me how close the two of them are and how they hung out before school all the time. When I confronted him he said some crazy person at school was starting rumors. Fast forward to the present I found out that they have been talking and he went to her for our relationship advice and they both got feelings for each other.
I caught him at her house and she met his family 3 weeks after we broke up. I know this has been going on for a while so I am unsure if this is still considered a rebound. He lied to me and his friends about the girl and is still trying to hide her. He told everyone that he and the girl were going on a break to prove to everyone that he did not break up with me for her. Over the next month and a half I have been seeing a therapist and things seemed to be going okay with my ex and I. He would always be the one to initiate the conversations and we went shopping, dinner, and the movies a couple of weeks ago and things seemed great.
He even texted me how much fun he had. He just keeps saying he is scared to give me another chance and doesn't think that I will change. He would go back and forth every couple of weeks. An example, I was in Miami one weekend and he was constantly texting me and his friends telling us that he wanted to work it out.
As soon as I told him if we are trying to work on each other then he would eventually have to find work somewhere else he flipped out saying I was trying to control him. He obviously still wants to be with this girl and is now using the excuse "I'm working on myself. I have not spoken to him in a week.
Remember The Most Important Thing Is To Have a Strategy
I am just afraid that not talking to him is bringing him and the girl closer together. Do I continue with the no contact and is this girl a rebound or not? He would think you aren't capable of change because you're still in relatively constant contact with him and just like it's hard to tell if someone lost weight if you saw them everyday, this works out to be the same - change can't be seen clearly if you see the person or talk to the person constantly.
I suggest proceeding with NC to actually work on any issues you had to become an improved version of yourself first. This girl could be a rebound but it really depends on the situation was he cheating all this while or only started dating her after the breakup. Honestly, in this situation, you might want to mentally prepare to walk away because if he can't even be honest towards you or his friends about this, you might find it hard to trust him on future occasions if you guys were to work things out.
I just think he's using the excuse I won't change because of the girl. Clearly if the girl wasn't in the picture we would be able to work on our relationship and you would think he would want to give me another chance because he did propose. I have not spoken to him in 2 weeks other then just saying merry christmas yesterday.
I do not think he physically cheated while we were together but he did emotionally cheat. He was talking to her over the past year when I asked him not to and he would lie about it. He apparently saw her in the summer with another coworker and I had no idea and her number was changed in his phone. He caught feelings for the girl and other then stepping back from the situation he kept going on with it. I had all his passwords so I could see what he was doing with the girl and that is how I caught him because he was lying to everyone about her. Now I really don't know what is going on because I'm kind of starting to not care.
I still want to keep up with the no contact and see how that goes. Hiii okay I need some advice So I dated my boyfriend for 3 years, we moved in together at the beginning of this year. We had a difficult relationship - I cheated once, he cheated a few times. We broke up for a week or so last year and then we got back together and decided to start fresh, no more cheating or anything we were gonna be serious. Then we moved in together a few months later.
He has used this as leverage and an excuse to cheat throughout our relationship. About a month ago he told me he cheated again - we broke up. For a week I had to live there and he was so cold, didn't talk to me or see me. He was plain rude. Then I moved out and he came running back, saying he regretted everything and he still loves me and wants to work it out. I went away on a trip for 3 days, when I came back he told me he doesn't know what he wants and he has met someone else who makes him really happy. It's been a month and I have not talked to him since. So far, he has proceeded to delete me and all my friends on Facebook, but he's still making pointed posts like "it sucks when you give your all to someone and they don't do the same".
This morning, I discovered he made a post on instagram with This new girl and captioned it "I have never been so happy, it keeps getting better and better with you". He had been following me on instagram up until this morning - so he made a post and then unfollowed me. I don't necessarily know if I want to get back with him, he has really hurt me and I don't know if were right for each other.
However I still really love him and im hurt that he possibly moved on so fast. Does this sound like rebound behavior? If I decide I want to be with him and try to get him back, what steps should I take? Your advice is appreciated!! What you're describing sounds a lot like rebound behavior and isn't something you should be too worried about.
If he could latch on and run back to you the moment you walked away, and yet latch onto someone new as easily when you're gone for a couple of days, it doesn't sound like it's a person you can feel secure with for a prolonged period. That's just my opinion and if you genuinely want him back as opposed to moving on , it's something you need to be mentally prepared for. In the meantime, I would suggest applying No Contact and first focus on picking yourself up before deciding again what you should do. Hi Im Mary and i am quite confused of what this guy whom unfortunately I love so much wants.
We are in a long distance relationship and he left me last September telling me that he cannot bear the distance anymore and that he needs a gf that is physically available. It was the worst heartbreak I experienced in my whole life and it left me shattered. Even after the breakup we still communicate as he always wants to be friends. After a month I felt tired and all I know was that he finally found someone else. I didnt contact him for almost a month but now he is coming back to mylife again saying that he misses me still.
Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend
Now i am confused if this guy is even worth loving for after all what he did or is he just trying to fool me around again knowing how much I loved him so hes taking an advantage? It could be either reasons. You know him better than anyone else. I would suggest that if he could walk away once over lack of physical contact, as long as nothing changes aka you moving to be with him or vice versa , it could easily happen a second time. Be fair to yourself and think this through on whether it's worth it. I broke up with my girlfriend in August, after dating for 7 months.
She pleaded to have me back shortly in September, and after thinking about it for awhile, I regretted it and wanted her back. It's normal that people seek comfort in others when they're upset, which is why rebounds exist in the first place. Right now she may be feeling conflicted as opposed to directly jumping into the rebound because you're still in the picture and on relatively good terms with her. If you're certain that you can make the relationship work and not go back into the same cycle as before, I don't think you should treat the guy as a rebound where you have to back off and not interfere but rather as fair competition where you're trying to win her heart once again.
Three months ago, my exboyfriend and I broke up. We were together for a year in a long distance relationship. I don't even know who broke up with who.
Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs
I was feeling unloved and I told him. I thought we would try to work things out. However, he took it as if I was saying he was wrong or that it wasn't working. He said he was going to answer me but he didn't. After some texts and after time of not talking, he suddenly met someone else when he was travelling. Everything between them went so fast. He wrote about having a soul connection and about true love in a few days after meeting each other.
I saw their interaction through social media and I could see how fast everything has been moving between them with me everything went pretty slow and it took him forever to tell me he loved me and things like that. She is nothing like me, she is totally different both physically and in interests. She is almost 20 years younger than him. I feel they are really into each other and I am sad because I thought he would think things through and get back together. The confusing part is that after he came back from his trip and of meeting her , he started texting me.
We talked and he seemed to be sad. He told me "I have been ok" instead of great as he looks on his pictures. He has been texting me, to say nothing important. I don't understand why. Is it because he felt guilty? Is he trying to be friends? Also, after we talked for the first time in a long time, I posted a picture with a guy I met. I didn't have any intentions of doing so, but that day he sent me a super friendly text. I don't know if it was because now it seems that each one of us moved one or could it be that he is still interested?
Why does he want to start and keep talking? He could be confused and undecided on what he wants at the moment, and the other girl could be a rebound that sparked while he was trying to cope with your 'breakup' seeing how you said that she was nothing like you. It could be that he keeps wanting to talk to you so as to not let you go, since his spark with the rebound may have been a holiday romance.
Hi, so i was dating this girl for about 2 years and we loved each other very much. We spent everyday we could together. I slipped up and cheated on her with another girl. I then told her about what had happened and she became super angry and slept with a guy to hurt me. She told me right after she did it to make sure i felt the pain. I obviously want her back because I acknowledged my mistake but now she does not want to talk to me.
She is now with the same dude and is posting alot about him on social media for me to see. I want to commit to fixing our relationship but understand that she is not in the best state of mind to talk. I'm going to start no contact for at least 45 days and see what happens. I'm pretty sure she still loves me and is just rebounding. Any suggestions or concerns i should be worried about? At the moment, leave her be no matter how painful it may be to see them together and during this NC period, spend time focusing and improving yourself as a person.
Give her that space to calm down and let her relationship with the guy fade out before coming back. Thanks Ryan, I will follow what you have instructed. So say i do NC and i message her and shes still upset with me, is there anything i can do? Also, I have a strong belief that she is scared to come back to me because of how bad i hurt her. Im pretty sure this girl is my soulmate. If you're really sure that she's your soulmate and you're willing to wait, if after you apply NC and she is still upset with you, that means that it may be still too soon and you have to give her even more time, continuing with NC for as long as necessary.
Hey Ryan, I just wanted to clarify that if my ex is still with her rebound after my 45 no contact period, that i should still not contact her until the other guy is gone? Also, do you have any other tips on what to do in the time being. Well, it would be better not to, although if she contacts you first, perhaps you could always start off as friends. In the meantime, focus on improving yourself as a person. Take up a new hobby, get a climb on your career, go out with friends, even date around again. The last thing you want is to be caught still stuck at the same place down the road when she's moved way ahead of you.
Thanks Ryan, I have moved on and I have been hanging out with other women. I don't believe my ex has moved very far ahead due to the fact that she never really dealt with our breakup rebound. It's frustrating to watch her make a fool out of herself with this new guy, her friends and others all question why she is still with him. Hi Joe, unfortunately it's hard for you to do that without coming across as desperate and wanting her back. If you're on talking terms with her, you can always advise and tell her to be cautious of the relationship but I wouldn't do more than that.
She was the one to break off the relationship. Although, I was devastated and tried convincing we can make things work, I came to a point that of not replying to her because she was blabbering non-sence in her final set of msgs. I went to a NC, and after 2 months she contacts me again. I took it slow and talked with her. And understood that she is showing interest.
However, after a while she went cold again. The same happened again twice within a period of 4 months. This was taking me through an emotional rollercoaster. But however, I went NC again. About a month ago, she send me a msg again asking how I am. I started to talk to her, she was really nice and comforting but with time she went cold again. Unfortunately, I became a bit needy this time around. But recently I've heard that she seeing a guy. I'm hearing that she rushing into progress with the new guy. So what I your advice on this to me. I suggest you leave them be and continue with NC indefinitely.
If she's in a rebound, she will eventually break up with the guy and the rushing into things may be a way to compensate for any negative emotions she might feel against you. The whole point of going into NC is to allow you to recover from any emotional hurt you might have faced as well as improve yourself. It's hard to do that if she keeps coming back to you but leaving you short each time. Even if you want her back, you should be at a point where you're okay if she's back in your life, but also okay if she's not before trying for anything again.
Thanks Ryan, Appreciate the fact that you had time to respond to me. Could I ask you why she's showing this kind of behaviour even though its been like 9 months since the break up? There may still be underlying feelings of resentment towards you regarding the overall negative emotions she felt during the relationship, but it's only speculation on my part. If you really want to know for certain, the only way is to actually ask her about it. That just hurt me really bad so i told him, "is that really the reason why?
Well at the moment, there isn't much you can do because of it's never right to break a relationship up. If they're together, and has resorted to even blocking you on social media platforms, then it would better for the time being that you also move on. In the future if he ever breaks up with her and you still want him back, then perhaps you could try again but right now, I suggest applying the no contact rule.
My girlfriend and I broke up in July, she was having some family issues, she gave me the reason that she wasn't good for me, that was why the breakup happened, so she isn't going to hurt me. I followed the NC rule for 3 weeks, everything seemed to be working, she said she wanted us back, but she needed time. In October, she started dating someone. I'm about to follow the NC rule for second time, hoping it will work.
If she says that she wants you back but got together with someone else, perhaps you could try to understand why it happened. Yes, apply NC again and don't interfere with their relationship and if it's a rebound, she will break it off eventually. However, you shouldn't stay in one place for this period either not moving on and at least spend this time focusing on yourself by doing things like going out with your friends, perhaps even date again, and when the next opportunity presents itself if it does , at least you'll be emotionally prepared for it.
Hello, I've noticed my situation maybe a little more entangled then some. My boyfriend and I have live together sharing a house for almost nine years. He suffers from bipolar disorder and has recently been going through Cycles very quickly. He had met a woman on a singles website that he became friends with. Whenever he was feeling less than adequate or he and I were arguing he would go to that woman for validation that he's a great person and he's right.
A long story short, we've been going through some very trying times and even the loss of a child. He is what I call a chronic Runner, always running from his problems and never facing hard feelings and emotions. About six weeks ago we got into a terrible argument. He packed his things and he moved in with this woman.
I still live in our home and we still communicate pretty much every day. He states that they are in a relationship because he feels he needs to stay at her house and he doesn't want to rock the boat. He says he wants his own place and is looking for a townhome. He is very interested in what I'm doing and my well being.
He has told me numerous times that he is still very much in love with me and that he does not love her at all. He likes her and appreciates the things that she does for him like allowing him to stay in her home. He lies to her and comes over here and we'd even slept together. Both of us are grown he is almost 50 and I am Neither of us want to hurt anybody but I would love to work things out with him. Do we know contact is not going to work for us because as I stated we share a home together and most of his belongings are still here. I will not prevent him from coming to his own house or even make that suggestion.
It could be cause to feel paranoia that exist from his bipolar disorder. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated. He's extremely concerned that I might start dating and fall in love with someone. I've explained that I'm just not ready for this. He feels a lot of regret that he is living with somebody else but at the same time he knows he does not want to live in this house whether I were here or not.
What steps do I take at this juncture? We are both very much in love with each other and he even mentioned that he thought perhaps this was just a break that we need but in my mind it's not doing anything to deal with the issues we had. Thank you for your time and I hope to hear back. Since no contact and asking him to move out is out of the question, perhaps at a later given date when everyone has more or less calmed down from the situation, sit down and have a talk with him regarding the issues you guys faced and how you can work together to solve them.
More importantly, he definitely has to let go of the other woman if you guys want the relationship to work since that will only serve as a constant obstacle and something for him to run to every time an issues arises. Hey Kelvin I was with in relationship for almost 2 years. Everytime she given me a chance result was the same We fought And always I break her. Now finally she decided to end up the things on 18 Oct from 18 Oct to 21st Oct she was thinking why she has done this But I called her everytime she said she want some space and time still I called her Now she is just irritated with me On 23rd I said that I will not call you Now what I will do Does she will really miss me.
I suggest you give her the space she wants and don't apply too much pressure on her. You've been together for two years and there's a chance she still loves and misses you but let her be the one to say she's ready. And if you do get back together, please work on your recurring issues to make sure the relationship lasts this time.
Dear Mr kevin please help me out, I have had been dating a girl for 5 months, she even told me that she will get married to someone else because she is a Muslim, for some time she got confused between me and him, but eventually decided to end with me after seeing my conversation on FB with my exes, I did not tell her about my past casual relationships, though I really am serious for her and think she is the last girl in my life.
I don't know what to do, but I really think I can't live without her, as far as no contact is concerned, I fear she might get engaged in a month, which she planned to postpone few weeks ago. She did ask me to live happily n let her go for her happiness before things got worse between us,the guy she's gonna marry is also professionally senior to me. I told her I rely love her and will wait for her forever but she's says she doesn't gives a damn n would never trust me coz I have been in many relationships before, moreover my ex did also call in front of her for no reason n she even doubted that.
I really love her, please help me. She even told me she is not going to cheat him by even talking to me or else he will be shattered n he left his girlfriend to marry her,things are all complicated. Right now, by going back to her, you're going to come across as needy and desperate and this will push her further away.
If she is indeed planning to get married, your best bet would be to focus on recovery and working on yourself. If she really loves you, she will come back eventually but it isn't something you should pressure her into because that doesn't work. I suggest applying the no contact rule in order to give yourself some distance from the situation and this might help you gain a fresh perspective. My bf and I were together for 1.
We were really good together and had great chemistry. Two weeks ago though he break up with me because he said that he's not in love with me anymore.. On September I had to move out of town and the plan was that we were gonna be in a LDR for this year. By the beginning of June we were gonna live together. We were in our first month of LDR when he realised that he loves me but is not in love with me. It shocked me to hear that and after a lot of talking he finally admitted that he felt an attraction for another girl..
I knew her and I can guarantee you that there was nothing going on between the two of them before I left. Actually we were crazy in love while I was still there. I'm sure about that. Anyway, I accepted what he said. I even told him that I would block him on fb cause it wound be to painful for me to see him with her. He said he understands. He did asked me to be friends but I said no.
Eventually we said our goodbyes and I haven't contacted him ever since. I've stuck to the no contact rule. And then he posed a pic of his with her as his new gf. And of course he didn't do it on fb.
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No, he posted it on Instagram. Now I just unfollowed him on Instagram, because 1 he hadn't posted anything at all. He had 0 posts and never really cared about it and 2 because he told me that he would delete the account. So I didn't thought it was necessary to block him there too. So imagine my surprise when my friend showed me that pic. Another thing I have to nention is that on fb we had no common friends. But on Instagram my friends follow him, and so does some of my family members.. So there was no way that I woudn't found out about his first post.
And it was really out of his character! He never uploaded pic of us. And we were together for so long I know it sounds crazy but I fell that he did it on purpose. Like he is angry at me because I haven't contacted him ever since the break up and wants to hurt me now or something.. Perhaps in situations like these, it would be best to actually ask him so as to not leave yourself jumping to conclusions? It may be likely he is currently going through a rebound which you can read up more here Long distance can be hard and if he can't be honest with you, it will also be very hard to initiate anything or progress.
First complete the no contact period to give yourself some space. Kevin, my ex cheated on me then dumped me for this person. They have only been dating for a month but already she says that she feels he is the one. Yet she said that she still feels that way about me.
After reading this, the signs point to this being a rebound and that's somewhat comforting. She's rubbed him in my face, she's staying with him. This person is the total opposite of me in every way. Recently she told me that we should be friends at first and slowly work towards getting back together. I agreed to it, as long as we get back together.
She already knows I want to. I want to believe there's hope but she hasn't messaged me in days. Do I do the no-contact routine again or what? If you have not done no contact till now, then you absolutely must do it for at least two months. She cheated on you which is a huge betrayal of trust. Even if you get back together, it will be hard for you to trust her again. Right now, you just want her back out of desperation and fear of losing her forever. These are not good reasons to get back together.
Take your time and think things through. By doing no contact, you will also show her that you are not desperate to get back with her, which is going to make her more attractive to you. It might even make her think about her actions and regret what she did. I was dating my collegue for about a year i felt like he was pulling away and things were changing.
So i went onto no contact with him. He tried reaching out to me after 10days but I did not reply him. After my no contact was over I tried messging him with a nice memory we shared it did not show any needeness or any sign that I want him back. But there was no reply from him. I waited for another 5 days and sent him a text still no reply.
Why is he not responding? Did he loose intrest in me? Is he so mad at me that he is not reafy to speak with him at all? What should I do now?